The question below is a question that I have received from many Catholic men, so I decided to address this issue.
Well of course, traditional and virtuous women ARE hard to find!
The Bible mentions this where it says: Who can find a virtuous woman?
This alone should tell you that virtuous, traditional and feminine women are rare gems.
It makes complete sense that true virtue is difficult to obtain, especially in today’s culture where vice is celebrated and a lot of women have been conditioned with feminist programming.
However, virtuous women DO exist.
The question is – are you recognising them?
If you are a man that has trained yourself or your appetites for women of loose morals and questionable virtues, it will be VERY difficult for you to identify virtuous women when you do see them.
You’ll be too caught in your own feelings and attractions for the pretty, shiny, but diabolical women, who will eat your face and ruin your life.
In addition, truly virtuous women will not want anything to do with men who are not virtuous or are obviously used to dating loose women and trust me, we can tell what type of woman a man usually goes for.
We can also tell when a man simply wants a virtuous girl to boost his ego or to “settle down with” after sowing his wild oats and ruining other girls out there.
While it is true that a virtuous woman is rare, hard to find and precious like gold, the truth is that traditional, virtuous women are everywhere.
You only need to know where to look.
So why haven’t you found her yet?
YOU ARE LOOKING IN THE WRONG PLACES
A traditional Catholic woman will not be found in a pub, bar or club. Neither will you find her at loud festivals and so on.
Generally, if you are scouting bars and clubs, or are out with the lads at the pub, the chances of finding a truly traditional Catholic woman there are rather slim.
YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PEOPLE
Let’s face it. Men are visual creatures. God made you that way, but too many men are busy lusting after and being bewitched by the buxom hottie in the tight-fitting dress with the loud laugh, holding court, that they completely miss out on the quiet, demure, modestly dressed, self-possessed beauty in the corner.
You only have yourself to blame if you overlook the girl who is a bit more reticent and shy, in a non-fitted modest dress, and perhaps wearing spectacles, for the absolute wench that would drain your heart, soul and your wallet.
Beauty and sexiness does not equate to virtue. Remember that.
YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY THE WRONG PEOPLE
It is said that we are an average of the FIVE people we spend most of our time with, and this is very true.
A man may try to put up a façade when he sees a “good girl” that he wants to claim.
He may temporarily clean up his act and act like a “good Christian boy”, but we are not stupid.
We watch your mannerisms, your language, the stuff you like or comment on social media and more importantly, your friends.
If your five closest friends are pot-heads, unemployed, misogynistic, non-Catholics, non-Trads and so on, we know that you are just like them, but presenting as a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
A traditional woman is looking for a man who is worthy of leading her, a man who is also a Trad and the one to whom she would give the gift of submission.
The gift of submission is a gift that traditional women don’t just give to any man.
Before you came along, her submission is to God and to her biological father, so you have to be worthy of being her husband before she would give you that precious gift.
Also, don’t get it twisted. Traditional Catholic women DO NOT submit to boyfriends or suitors who are merely dating and courting them. That privilege is reserved for husbands only, but you will see the beginnings of during the courtship phase , if you are lucky to get that far.
YOU ARE THE WRONG MAN
Traditional Catholic girls can present as demure and reserved, but we are not stupid by any means.
We are very aware of our value and we are extremely careful who we give our hearts too.
Traditional Catholic girls are not looking for men who would make good boyfriends; they are looking for men who would make good husbands and fathers.
Traditional Catholic women are not looking to date; they are looking to be courted.
We watch and we quietly observe you, and if we deem you unworthy or unable to lead us, we quietly remove ourselves from your presence.
While it is true that it is the man who would initiate contact and chase after the woman, it is the woman who actually chooses you, not the other way around.
This biological instinct is necessary as women do not want to make the mistake of choosing someone completely wrong for her and her future children.
Part of the reason modern relationships and marriages have a high failure rate is due to a majority of women being so disconnected from their feminine nature that they make terrible decisions in the choices of men that they pick as spouses or allow into their lives.
This of course, only leads to inevitable harm and heartbreak for them.
HOW THEN CAN YOU MEET A TRADITIONAL CATHOLIC WOMAN?
As an introvert, it can be hard meeting people in the first place and especially if you are a guy hoping to meet a traditional Catholic woman.
A lot of introverted men become a little passive with regards to women that they are interested in.
They do not take the lead or initiate conversation. They expect the woman to make the first move.
The women that will make the first move on you, 90% of the time, will not be traditional women. They are women with an agenda and it is generally not a good one.
Traditional women will only go for traditional men, and traditional men make the first move – always!
So you might need to first work on your conversational skills, especially with regards to approaching women.
Here are my TOP THREE PLACES to meet traditional, virtuous Catholic women.
No, I am not talking about online dating per se. I mean online forums.
Traditional women love to interact with others.
You will find them in online groups – DEFINITELY NOT on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
I am referring to online Catholic forums and groups.
I would not recommend sliding into their inbox immediately.
Build a rapport first.
Interact with them on their comments and posts in the group before introducing yourself.
Traditional Catholic groups/forums on Facebook are good suggestions.
If you don’t live relatively close to her, don’t even think about it.
She will get suspicious and red flag you for good reason too.
Online dating is also a good place to meet virtuous women, but just like in dating in the physical world, you will have to learn to seperate gold from fools’ gold in the digital world too.
Don’t attend Mass regularly? Give up. You will not find a traditional Catholic girl.
She attends Mass regularly and if you are someone who does not attend Mass regularly, she would not be interested.
If you are REALLY lucky, you may also find that she volunteers for parish activities and if she is a Catechist, working with children, she is a catch!
In addition to Mass, attending Eucharistic Adoration weekly is a great way to meet a traditional, Catholic girl.
You need to be attending regularly for months, not just scouting for a mate, before introducing yourself.
And whatever you do, do not introduce yourself during Adoration. Wait until it is over and she is outside the Church.
Volunteering at the Church is another great way to meet like-minded folks.
Help out during parish events; help in decorating the parish Christmas Tree at Advent and so on.
Not only will you get to know people and build friendships, but you will also expand your social circle and who knows, a friend from Church or older parishioner just might introduce you to their friend, niece, daughter etc who might be a Trad too.
A woman who gives up her time and energy to join a protest or Rosary chain outside an abortion is a virtuous woman. This is a good place to meet other virtuous Trads.
Attend regularly and build friendships or you will gain a reputation among the group of being a woman-hunting perv and shatter all your chances there.
There you have it. My top three places to meet traditional, virtuous Catholic women.
Would you add anything else to this list?
St Raphael, the Archangel, pray for us.
Our Lady, Throne of Wisdom, pray for us!
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15 thoughts on “How To Find A Traditional Catholic Woman”
Do you have a similar post for women?
no, but you can apply the exact same principles
Men should find an FSSP Traditiona Latin Mass Catholic church, they usually have the biggest and best Young Adult Groups or other groups like 30+ singles etc…. or try Catholic match, but as a man you have to message the woman you are interested in. Don’t wait for a woman to message you, you are the man!
Greetings my brothers and sisters,
How can one declare a virtuous lady so as not to overwhelm her?
Waiting for your prompt response, receive a cordial greeting in Christ and His Blessed Mother
Carlos, from Spain
Can you clarify your question? Do you mean ask to court her or propose marriage to her?
Saludos, disculpe la tardanza en responder, me refería a cortejarla.
Un saludo en Cristo y Su Bendita Madre.
I will never find one here whem i am, only when i move out to a bigger city. I live in a very very small city and i know almost everyone who attends mass and church groups, even the priests are very modern and weird, because of “Liberation Theology” here in South America.
Im so sad because of this, i passed in an exam to work as a cop in another state. Im waiting to be called to move and maybe there i will find someone.
This is a good post. I’ve actually recently resolved to only looking for Traditional Catholic girls. I’ve had my eye on three at the Church I go to, but I don’t even know their names yet… or if they are already seeing someone, but it still doesn’t stop me by making a good friend. A traditional Catholic girl won’t lead a guy on, right?
Do you have any tips for girls on how to meet traditional Catholic guys? Or would it really be about the same as this in terms of places?
Yes, pretty much.
Great post! Well put and well written!
Keep it up! 🙂
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Great post! For some reason though, you blogs always make me cry. Never tears of sadness.
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Oh, honey. I am so sorry my blogs make you cry, but thoroughly pleased that they are not tears of sadness. God love you!
Spot on. I would advise men to desire to be the knight in shining armor. Chastity, modesty and self-control are fruits of the Holy Spirit. They never go out of style. Hold yourself to a higher standard, gentlemen. Saint Joseph ought to be our role model.
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Great advice, Terence! Thank you!