With the rise of the #MeToo movement, the exposure of sexual abuse and harassment, it is easy to think that this problem is only the problem of a degenerate, modernist, leftist world.
However, the popularity of my RED FLAGS article has shown that even within the Church, the dating world and Trad circles, the sexual objectification and sexual micro-aggressions upon women is very much a thing.
Yesterday, I wrote a Facebook post on tips for curvy women who feel like they cannot be feminine due to their size.
I get a lot of messages and emails from women who tell me that they feel they are not feminine enough because they are curvy, or plus sized or overweight, so I decided to address the issue in a post on my Facebook page.
Below is the response that I received from…..(wait for it) …..a man.
A married man, no less!
My condolences to his poor wife on being married to such a “prime catch!”
Honestly, kudos to him for actually having the effrontery to write that comment in the post.
Most of the other men were cowardly enough to tell me, via private messaging, to edit my post and tell women to lose weight or no man will want them
What a delightful bunch, right(!) 🙄
Mr “Wonderful” above then sent me some copied and pasted material on obesity, with his added commentary about how fat acceptance is a leftist movement and how men do not desire obese women or find them attractive.
He is obviously dense on the difference between a woman who is curvy, one who is plus-sized and one who is obese.
I deleted both him and his offensive, misogynistic comment before any other women on my page saw it.
TCF is a platform for Traditional Catholic Women, so why men even follow pages and platforms like mine baffles me.
Majority of the men who follow trad platforms like mine fall into any one of the following categories:
- predatory faux trads, hoping to lure an unsuspecting trad girl to fulfil their depraved and perverted fantasies.
- men who are unhappy in their marriages or their lives, and get a sick pleasure from tearing down an entire demographic of women, to make themselves feel a bit more smug, superior and significant.
- bitter, jaded misogynistic, Incel and MGTOW men, who are furious that women are being discerning and they want to learn our ‘game’, and then find a way around it. These are generally men who demean older single women as having been on the “cock carousel” (as they call it) and are now “used-up goods” that nobody wants. Yet, they are the same men that will lure in a young, inexperienced woman, use and then discard her, leaving the poor girl heartbroken, vulnerable to yet another predator until she finds herself over 40 and still single, being labelled “expired, used-up good” by the same men who put her on the so-called “cock carousel”
You see, ladies, the moment ANY MAN opens his mouth to say anything to convince you to have sex with him, you should dump him immediately!
He has just told you that he thinks you are trash, you are not worth getting married to, and he wants to use and dump you, so that in a few years, he calling spit on you, calling you “used up goods”.
He does not value, love or respect you. He truly hates you and only sees you as a worthless sex doll.
A couple of days ago, I shared on my social media about an engaged couple, both of them in the TCF community, who are getting married in under 3 months.
This is the sort of good news that we like to see!
A guy, like the one in the above link, who treats you with such devotion, love and respect, is the type of guy that you deserve.
As a cautionary tale, I will also share with you about a young lady who messaged me last week, telling me that she and her long-term boyfriend fell into sin, and now she is pregnant. After she fell pregnant was when her boyfriend then chose to tell her that he has no intentions of getting married. What a jerk!
The poor lady is now going to be a single mother, with a reduced chance of getting a decent, virtuous man, because according to the men above, she is not only “used-up goods”, but also now with “baggage” and many truly honourable men are generally wary of being with women who were reckless and indiscriminate enough as to have a baby out of wedlock.
This guy, whom she thought loved her because he was so eager to have sex with her, has essentially used and discarded her. Please pray for her and let this be a cautionary tale to any woman dating or single.
As a reminder, a kiss does not mean he loves you, wants and respects you.
Sex does not mean he loves, wants and respects you.
Only a wedding ring is a sure sign that he loves, wants and respects you.
Only a wedding ring is a sure sign that he loves, wants and respects you.
The sooner you stop having premarital sex with these men, the sooner they will commit and the more they would respect you.
Now, back to the man in my Facebook post whom I mentioned at the beginning of this article.
If you, as a man are that dense as to assume that all a curvy or plus size woman needs to do is to lose weight in order to be desirable, attractive and feminine, then you are completely missing the point and are also part of the problem
Not all curvy or plus-size women are overweight due to a health condition.
Of course, if one is overweight due to a health issue, then it is your obligation to take care of the body that God gave you, by looking after your health, through exercise, diet and/or prescribed medication (in cases of diabetes etc), where appropriate.
However, there are many curvy or plus-sized women who are perfectly fine and healthy, with no health conditions whatsoever.
It is simply men like this and distorted modern society that has them feeling like they are ugly and unfeminine.
Men like him grind down women’s self-esteem to the point where they simply give up, stop taking care of themselves because they are conditioned to believe only a stick-thin girl is feminine.
This is why I wrote the Facebook post, which you can see HERE , to let curvy women know that a woman CAN be feminine, regardless of size, and also to share a couple of tips that they can utilise in their grooming, which would help boost their morale and self-confidence.
Men like the above prized-piece-of-work do not truly want a woman.
A real feminine, adult woman with curves is just too intimidating for men like him.
What men like him want is a stick-thin girl….a pre-pubescent body….with a subservient, easy-to-manipulate mentality.
Basically, he wants a child!
Not only is this disgusting and disturbing, but it is also borderline paedophilic.
This guy is an example of how men sexualise and objectify women ALL. THE. TIME.
Sadly, creeps like these exist in all spheres of society, even within the Church….especially within the Church.
Sexual and abusive predators do infiltrate the Church and Trad circles in search of prey because within these circles are an abundance of women who are trusting and who easily give people the benefit of the doubt.
This is why it is so important, ladies, to be discerning.
You can still be discerning in your choices AND feminine.
Being discerning is NOT being judgemental.
In fact, it IS a mark of femininity to be picky and discerning, not just in your belongings and outfits, but also in your friendships and your relationships. ESPECIALLY in your relationships.
In eras gone by, there are many tales of women who rejected several suitors before finally choosing one as a spouse.
Part of having traditional values is having good standards, as well as being picky and discerning.
It is only a foolish or wayward woman that falls easily for the charm and honey-dripped sweet nothings of the insincere seducer.
The Bible tells us to be wise as serpents, but harmless as doves.
Do not generalise on what predatory or simply unsuitable men look like.
It is also dangerous to assume that “Oh, I’ll never date an American again”, or “I’ll never use online dating again”, or “I’ll never date an older man again…..or a younger man again”, thinking that would help you avoid users, abusers and manipulators.
That sort of thinking would very quickly get you into trouble, as letting your guard down makes you prime prey.
The Church is not your safe space. An older man, or a younger man is not your safe space. Online dating or dating a foreigner is not your safe space. Predators exist everywhere.
The only safe space is your gut feelings, combined with education on men like these, and strengthening your discernment skills.
This is why my RED FLAGS article has become an invaluable resource in helping people confirm their intuition and sharpen their own discernment skills in identifying and eliminating predatory, dangerous or destructive people in their lives.
The quicker you are able to identify and weed out the scum and creeps, the quicker you will make space for a truly honourable and virtuous man, like THIS GUY, to come into your life.
I also recommend regular Confession, Adoration and praying the Rosary to help strengthen the spirit of discernment within you.
Curvy or not, never forget that you are both capable AND worthy of femininity!!
Maria, Sedes Sapientiae, ora pro nobis.
Mary, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us.
THE HAIR ACCESSORIES MENTIONED IN THE FACEBOOK POST:
ad Jesum per Mariam