So I thought that I’d put together a run-down of the different types of kisses that a person may experience from friendship stages to courtship, marriage and even beyond.
For unmarried guys, this list can help you in wooing your intended in a more chivalrous and gentlemanly manner, and for husbands, this list can help you build or strengthen intimacy with your wife and keep those marital fires going.
For unmarried ladies, especially those who are dating, observe carefully the type of kisses that your intended gives you. It will reveal A LOT on the level of respect and attraction that he has for you, and will also show you his true intentions.
A guy who is respectful of you is more likely to be in love with you and to desire a future with you.
A guy who is carnal with you is either a serial cheat, does not respect, does not want a future with you an simply wants to use you quickly and move on.
Actions DO speak louder than words and the type of kisses your intended gives will show whether he is in love with you and wants a future with you, or whether he is just a user, who is stringing you along.
“Passionate kissing for the unmarried is mortally sinful because those passions and pleasures are reserved only for the married”
– FR WOLFE
Kiss On The Cheek: “i like you”
This expression of affection is generally seen between friends.
However, in places like Italy and possibly France, it can be used as a way of greeting each other.
Acceptable between:
- Friends – common between friends
- Courting couples – this form of PDA is acceptable in the initial stages of dating, but please not on the first date!
- Married couples – generally used in greeting form ie giving him a kiss when he goes off to work, or when he returns back home.
Kiss On The Hand: “i adore you”
This type of kiss is so sweet and would literally make a girl’s heart melt.
It sure makes mine melt!
Guys who are chivalrous and gentlemanly are sure to impress their lady and make her swoon with this type of kiss.
This kiss has more of a romantic overtone, so you wouldn’t necessarily find it between friends or acquaintances
Acceptable between:
- Courting couples – especially when things are beginning to get more serious. It is a natural progression from the “kiss on the cheek” stage and is a sign of having pure and longterm intentions for your intended.
- Married couples – given whenever. My husband would sometimes hold my hand when he is driving and, completely absent-mindedly, give it a kiss. He has also done the same when we are in public setting ie at the movies, a talk. It is a sweet way to remain connected as a couple in public and also so lovely to know that even though I am sitting right next to him, I am always on his mind.
Kiss On The Shoulder: “you are perfect to me”
I have seen this type of kiss between best friends, as well as between married couples.
It is a form of PDA that is indicative of a level of intimacy or bond that is at the “best friends” level and beyond.
Acceptable between:
- Best friends – especially those that have a bond with each other.
- Courting couples – a sweet and purely non-sexual form of PDA for couples that are exclusive and in a serious stage of their relationship. You can read more on the different stages of a traditional Catholic relationship HERE.
- Married couples – this shows a closely bonded couple.
Kiss On The Forehead Or On Top Of The Head: “i cherish you”
This type of kiss is both sweet and intimate, and a guy who kisses you this way not only respects you and cares for you deeply, but if he is a romantic partner, it shows that he loves you.
Acceptable between:
- Friends – common between friends who have a deep bond
- Courting & Engaged couples – a sweet and purely non-sexual form of PDA for couples that are exclusive and in a serious stage of their relationship. You can read more on the different stages of a traditional Catholic relationship HERE.
- Married couples – really intimate way of expressing affection between married couples, especially those who have been married for years!
Kiss On The Neck: “i want you now”
Due to the erotic connotations of this type of kiss, you will not find this kiss between friends and unless you are in an exclusive, sexual and committed relationship (i.e. YOU ARE MARRIED!), I’d avoid this type of kiss.
A man who kisses you this way is communicating that you that he only sees you as a sexual object and has no desire for anything long.lasting with you. Basically, he wants to hit it and quit it.
Unless, of course, the guy is either:
a) your husband, or
b) your fiancé, AND your wedding is imminent ie in 6 weeks or less
Acceptable between:
- Engaged couples – again, only if your wedding is imminent
- Married couples – a surefire sign that those marital fires are stoked! Yes, a quick kiss like this when you two are in a public setting can be an intimate signal of his desire and perhaps a prelude to what’s to come later. Just don’t go overboard and engage in a public snog-fest. Lol!
Kiss On The Lips: “I LOVE YOU”
Well, duh(!)
If you are married, kiss away!
Engaged couples might want to keep this type of kiss as brief as possible…and no tongues, either!
It’s a slippery slope (no pun intended!) down into sexual sin, if you get carried away with this type of kiss.
To be honest, reserve the deep kiss for your wedding day.
Until then, K.I.S.S. – Keep It Short and Sweet!
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Good day,
First of all, thank you so much for providing this clear, concise information and advice! Wow, it’s nice to know true Catholic morality! I wish I had known these things when my fiancé and I started dating. My question is this; As Traditional Catholics, what is acceptable and not acceptable at our wedding reception with regards to music, dancing, etc.? We both grew up in the Novus Ordo so we are pretty ignorant about a lot of things. We’re pretty new to Tradition and want our priest and everyone else to be able to come to our reception without it being a near occasion of sin. Any advice? Thanks!
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I’m trying to find more information on courtship stages, as most of them are either mirrors of/based off of Fr. Ripperger’s very good Four Stages of Courtship talk. However, in your and Fr’s rules of courtship, all stages of courting except for engagement are said to have a lack of affection (including hand holding, kissing of sorts, etc.) since it is a sin directly contrary to justice. However, this page seems to indicate there are types of affection that can be shown during these stages? Is it a prudential decision and Fr. spoke incorrectly or is this page a misnomer and all of these are reserved strictly for marriage. Just want to get my facts straight before I pursue.
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I think you have confused what is an acceptable or preferred courtship aka Fr Ripperger’s talk, which I have also written about on this website and what different types of kisses can indicate about a man’s intentions for a woman.
The clue is literally in the titles: One talks about the stages of traditional courtships as advocated and encouraged by holy wise Church leaders and the other refers to what a man’s kisses indicate about his intentions for a woman.
They are two completely different articles and I don’t see how possible it is for anyone to mesh these two together into one thing.
In addition, these guidelines as with most of my articles on my website are directed at the female audience, what women should aspire to in dating as well as what to watch out for from cads and insincere men.
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Just to add something, it is totally right that in France or Italy it is very common to kiss on the check, even with people we sometimes know very little, etc.
But, it is not exactly a kiss with lips on the check, it is rather a kiss with check against check !
Don’t confuse, if you come here !
By the way : thank you for this nice article !
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You are welcome!
And you are right about the European type kisses – I should know – my husband is Italian
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I especially like with the last one. They’re all so very true. A kiss is so intimate and can translate in so many different ways. It’s best to approach with caution.
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I am African and i can tell you these kisses do not apply to the generality of African men
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there might a cultural difference.
however, in the vast majority of western cultures and among many african men living in western countries, you will one or more of these kisses
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