You are free to believe whatever you want, but you are not free to believe whatever you want and call it Catholicism or Biblical teaching.
This post is inspired by those who complained that it is not possible to get engaged within two years.
Um, if you follow traditional rules of morality, Catholic tradition and Biblical teaching, yes it is.
My husband proposed to me in 8 weeks and we were married about 14 months from our first date.
Catholic and Biblical teaching does not encourage lengthy courtships, for many reasons, and it certainly does not advocate living in sin either.
Those that are dating for lengthy periods almost always fall into sin and I have heard so many stories of this happening.
If you allow a man to court you for so long with no forward momentum or when he is clealry not ready or able to be married, then not only are you allowing yourself to fall into sin, you are also setting yourself up for failure.
Company-keeping with the opposite sex ie dating without intent to get married is also frowned upon in Church teaching and unless one is ready to be married (ie financially ready by having a stable income or otherwise ready), one should not be keeping company with the opposite sex. Period.
Someone mentioned they were dating at 15. Yikes!! How embarrassing!!
Why were you dating at 15?!!
I had my 1st date at 21!!
The only form of acceptable “dating” as a teen is hanging out with friends…..in public….in group settings!
Dating when you are 15, 19 etc is company-keeping and it is NOT part of traditional Church teaching.
You should not be dating in your teens or even at any age, when you are not ready to be married.
This is traditional Church teaching and this is also why the 1-2 year rule applies.
When the rule is adhered to, engagements and proposals would naturally follow within 1-2 years because you are both ready for it.
These guidelines given by the Church, as a follow-on from Biblical traditions are there to not only foster healthy, sin-free relationships, but also serve as foundations for happy, holy marriages.
But of course, there are people who believe they know better than our Church fathers and than thousands of years of tradition and Biblical teaching.
If you are simply dating for fun, dating while still in education or without stable employment and so on, it makes total sense that you will not get engaged in that 1-2 year frame.
Plus, you are deliberately putting yourself in harm’s way – the risk of immorality – which is foolish.
If you believe you can date for 5, 10 years, live together without marriage, date and court with no intention to marry or even when you are not ready to be married (ie having a stable income, finished education etc); good for you – that is your choice and you will bear the consequences for that choice.
It is definitely NOT Biblical or Church teaching, and as TCF is about promoting traditional Biblical and Church teachings, persistent false teachings here, in form of comments and so on, will be banned.
TCF is meant to support traditional Catholic women, not serve as Catholicism 101 and I really do not want to be babysitting people who are already supposed to be Catholics, re-educating them on the BASICS of Catholic Tradition and Church teaching.
It’s like teaching the ABCs all over again to people who meant to be university undergraduates.
And if you are not Catholic, please go elsewhere and learn about basic Catholic teaching first.
You are not ready for meat; you still need milk. FishEaters is a very good place to start
Via TCF, I am responsible for the souls of the people who read the content on TCF platforms, and I will not let TCF spaces be grounds for heretics to contaminate or scandalise the faithful.
I am not here to convert or convince the hard-hearted.
I can’t. It is not within my power to do so, and it would be arrogant of me to think that I can or to even try.
So, you are welcome to believe whatever you like.
Believe you are a unicorn, for all I care, but you are not welcome to believe whatever you like and call it Catholicism or traditional Church teaching…..and certainly not on any of TCF platforms.
When I reiterate and even point you to resources on Catholic traditions and Biblical teaching, but you still insist that you know better or your way is better than what our Church Fathers advocate, then I cannot help you.
You will believe what you want to believe and the Bible tells us not to cast our pearls before swine, so I will simply disengage from you.
The Bible warns us about those with hardened hearts (2 Tim 3) and their end (Romans 2:5)
We do not need to argue, justify, rationalise or explain further with these people.
They are locked into a self-imposed false reality and they are determined to self-sabotage and self-destruct themselves.
Part of having healthy Biblical boundaries is stepping out of the way so that those who are hell-bent on being self-destructive, despite your best efforts to help them, do not drag you down with them into Hell.
Once again, 2nd Timothy 3. Read it.
Some people just love to be contrarians and to spread confusion.
Confusion is not of God because God is not the author of confusion.
Now, for those who are already Catholic, but perhaps a little rusty on Biblical and Church standing on these matters and want a quick crash course, these can help:
May our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, intercede for us all, that we receive the spirit of wisdom, sound mind and discernment in this life. Amen!
ad Jesum per Mariam