I recently came across this tweet of a Christian woman responding to a guy.

Well, well, well!! Behold an example of male gaslighting of women.  🙄

Predatory men only view you as a transactional object and this is why they say things like “give me wife benefits before I make you a wife”
They want to sample the goods before investing and it doesn’t work like that at all.  Human beings are not objects to purchased, used or sampled!
So it is a HUGE RED FLAG when a man says or expects this

All she wants is a man with godly Christian values, and he has the nerve to tell her that she is seeking perfection, when men themselves have incredibly high standards and would never settle for a woman who is less than what he wants.

Yet they will shame women for having standards, and cajole them into settling for what they want.  They want women to devalue themselves so they can have easy access to use, manipulate, abuse, and prey on them

I mean, it is the narcissistic selfishness, hypocrisy and double standards for me. 😒 

For these men, as long as she is super young and reasonably attractive, that is all they care about.  They do not care about the woman’s values and principles because they will often force her to abandon those, in favour of theirs, as misaligned as they may be.
These men care only about physical appearance and transient things, like age, youth, and beauty. And this is why they start to lose interest and attraction as she ages or loses some attractiveness, due to pregnancy or simply ageing.

None of us will look youthful forever, if we are lucky enough to grow old, and yet these men expect women to never age or lose attractiveness and that is why they are so vitriolic towards women over a certain age.  They expect the impossible……utter perfection ……from women and have the audacity to tell a woman seeking a godly partner who is an Ephesians 5 husband, and a provider a protector, that she is seeking perfection.

Furthermore, the major reason why many marriages fail and end in divorce is precisely because they got married based purely on lust and physical attraction, rather than shared and similar goals and aligned values. 

But men like this one do not care. They are quite happy to date and even marry a woman for her resources (money, status, youth, looks etc) and get into marriages that they know will ultimately end in divorce because they can simply trade her in for a newer or younger model, once she has, according to them, “hit the wall”.  

Men who spew nonsense like the nonsense in the tweet above only care about superficial outward stuff.  They don’t care about real substance and that is why they treat women and their relationships as disposable and interchangeable. 

Similar goals and values are what keeps a marriage together and strong for decades to come.

You have to be “bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh” – the Bible literally advocates for couples having similar goals and values in the Old Testament and in the New Testament, it reinforces this by telling us not to be unequally yoked.  

A person can share the same religion as you or even be a traditional catholic, but that doesn’t mean they are right for you – especially if they don’t have goals and values that align with yours. A so- called “good man” may look good on paper, but that doesn’t mean he is necessarily good for YOU. 

Additionally, many men will lie in the beginning and pretend that they have the same goals and values as you do.  This why it is so important to not just look at what he saying or doing right now, but also his past pattern of behaviour.
The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.  

Ask lots of questions from him and his family or closest long-term friends.  Check on his history, look at old pictures and so on. Assess his family members and in particular his closest friends – are they mirroring the values that he claims to have?  A man whose friends are mainly single unmarried party lovers can hardly be taken seriously as someone who is ready for marriage and a more trad life.  We are the culmination of the closest people in our lives. 

Sure a person can change, a party lover can become more conservative and responsible.  There is a big difference between transient changes that are used as manipulation and long-term changes that have become the person’s habitual character. Any changes in lifestyle that are less than 5 years old should be discarded as it could be a passing fad.  Habits die hard, and as our habits and lifestyle change and level up,  the people in our friendship groups and immediate circle often change too. If there is a clear disconnect between him and these groups/circles, then it is a case of manipulation: his words are not meeting his actions/lifestyle.

As a woman, you have to be discerning and wise, and as a TCF woman (Traditional, Catholic and Feminine), you are of very high value. You must be picky and more discerning because you don’t want your precious high-value self going into the wrong hands, a man who will not value you or appreciate you. 

If there is no clear historical pattern of these goals, principles, and values that he claims to have, then he is most likely mirroring and love-bombing you to get what he wants….or he is a manipulator and sociopath, wearing on a new personality to attract a certain type of person.

Men want women to settle because it benefits them and does not benefit women, and because it makes it easier for them to manipulate and control women, and to simply trade women up when they are done with them.  

So, as a woman, you must never EVER settle.
Even if all the men in your city or state are unsuitable, you STILL do not settle -EVER! You should have faith in God that He will bring you your Joseph in His own good time. 

Another tweet by the Christian lady, Micah James goes

“To those shaming and criticizing Christian women for not getting married “young enough”, why don’t you try dating as a woman that strives to honor the Lord in this current climate like we are?
Try dating as a woman of God in a hookup culture which has negatively affected coupling across the board. Try looking for someone that has values that align with yours—it’s not impossible, but it’s hard. They are few and far between. Men of high honor are more rare, just like women of high honor are. Not everyone meets a suitable mate in high school or college.
We are not passing up “good men” because they aren’t Chads, aren’t 6ft. tall or don’t make over 6 figures. We’re looking for good, spiritually competent men that will be able to lead our families in Christ.
While they exist, there are fewer of them than there are men who don’t share our values, not to mention that there are many men that claim to be “Christian” but their lifestyles don’t indicate that they are followers of Christ. The same goes for many women as well.
We, at least I, refuse to settle for men that don’t respect our boundaries or align with our values. It’s not worth it. I’d rather wait for the right man than marry the wrong one out of desperation to be a wife. We’re trying. Dating is hard. It’s messy. It’s not God’s design. Give us grace like you would the men that are dating, too. I’m tired of seeing men reply to womens’ posts about how they’ve “hit the wall” or are worthless because they didn’t get married at 22. This has to stop.”

To these so-called Christian frauds and misogynists abusing women for having boundaries, for waiting and telling older women of 30+ that they have hit the wall cos they passed up on “good guys”
You are not a good guy.  “Good guys” who claim to be Christian or trad do not go around abusing unmarried women or single women, shaming them and telling them they have hit the wall.  You are NOT  a good guy.  You are an abuser and predator trying to bully women into getting into dangerous, destructive, abusive, unequally yoked relationships.  You are trying to use shame to bait women and lure them out into abandoning their values and standards.

Also, if you are a single mother, you absolutely should never settle and your standards and boundaries should be even higher, not lower.  Ever

“When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”
— FULTON SHEEN 

Ladies, please do watch the video below.

Also, consider the daughters of Lot in the city of Sodom and Gomorrah from the Bible.  When the men around them were unsuitable, they left them behind and these men perished. If the daughters had remained with these men, they too would have perished and gone straight to Hell. 

Your standards, boundaries, and faith in God are literally protecting you from mistreatment, abuse, manipulation, death, and even eternal damnation. 

So continue to maintain your standards and boundaries. Ignore the nonsense by men online and offline, and never EVER EVER  settle!  Ever!!
Better to remain single than end up used, abused, exploited, devalued, and then discarded or damned.

Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us

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 ad Jesum per Mariam

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