Ah, the little-known and enigmatic vocation of the Consecrated Life. Not only is it a rare vocation, but little is known about it and what is known about it is generally inaccurate.

I decided to address this topic today because whenever I post about the Consecrated Life on my social media accounts, I get responses and comments from women, who perceive it to be the default State of Life for the unmarried.

This is simply not true.

Your vocation is NOT by default the Consecrated Life simply because you are over 30 and unmarried.

I know that some single women attempt to claim it as their vocation, perhaps to lessen the stigma of being unmarried and over 30, but you are not doing yourselves any favours when you do that.

If you notice, thus far, I have referred to this vocation as the “Consecrated Life”, NOT the “Consecrated SINGLE Life” This is because:

a) The word “single” implies a temporary state of being, a wife or sister in waiting, a State of Life that is subject to change.

b) The Consecrated Woman is NOT single. She takes vows; she is off the market.

According to CCC 873: A consecrated person is a Christian belonging to either the clergy or the laity who serves the Church by living the evangelical counsels.
“The evangelical counsels” are expressed in the three vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.

CCC 915: Consecrated life is characterized by the profession of the three evangelical counsels within a permanent state of life recognized by the Church.

When a woman takes vows to the religious life, it is only in very rare and extenuating circumstances would she be allowed to break those vows and become married. The same thing for a woman who is married, later deciding to leave her family and go be a nun. It very rarely, if ever, happens. Vows are perpetual.

Why then is the Consecrated Life expected to be any different?

If you also notice, I do not use the term “Consecrated Virgin”. While in the past, the vast majority of women who took the vocation to the Consecrated Life happened to be virgins, that is generally not the case today.

So yes, a woman who takes the vocation to the Consecrated Life may be a virgin, that is not always the case. Some are widows and some are neither.

Single Catholic women need to stop saying that their vocation is to the Consecrated Single Life.

That term just does not exist. It’s like a nun saying she has a vocation to the Religious Single Life. It makes no sense.

The Catholic vocation to the Consecrated Life is NOT for those who are still dating, but yet to find Mr Right; those who are open to dating or those who are discerning marriage.

Public vows, whether in the presence of Church and family or in the presence of a Church council only, are taken when a woman takes on the vocation of marriage, the vocation to Religious Life, and also the vocation to the Consecrated Life.

So unless you have gone through some form of liturgical ceremony or vow process, acknowledged and approved by the Church, you are a single woman, NOT a Consecrated Single, and you definitely do not have a vocation to the Consecrated Life.

When you formally take on the vocation to the Consecrated Life, you become a spouse. Not a spouse to a husband like in marriage, not a Spouse to God and the religious community like in religious life, but a Spouse of Christ, living in the world.

And when you become His Spouse, all other men are off limits. That’s it! You are off the market. Not looking for Mr Right, not hoping to find your Joseph, not discerning marriage, not being open to biological motherhood. You are off the market.

Some people in the Consecrated Life vocation may choose to wear a wedding ring, of sorts, as a public declaration of this.

Being single is not a vocation. It is a State of Life that all of us will pass through at some point in our lives as we are not born married, born a nun or sister, or a priest.

God has called us all to a specific vocation, how best we are called to love Him and serve Him. This is why Catholics are taught from a young age to discern their particular vocation.