The Independent Woman and Singlehood

A member of the TCF Tribeย posted the following in the group;ย  her identity has been kept private, but I’ll call her K here:

Ladies, I have to let out some steam (and hopefully get some advice as well)

I am a strong, Catholic, and very independent woman because my parents raised me to be this way. I have four older sister, two of which are married with kids; however, they both got married in their later 20s and only ever dated the man they married, who are both foreigners (I love them very dearly).

My two other sisters who are single are currently 30 and 27 with literally no men in their lives andย no potentials. Both of them had their first dates after the age of 25.

I am 21, know many good Catholic men, I personally feel that I’m a real catch, and I have never been asked out on a date.

Some people have told me that the K******* women are just very independent and it’s intimidating; however, I’m not buying it.

I’m frustrated and heartbroken for my 2 sisters, and I feel that I’m likely to go down the same path. There is a crisis of manhood and I just don’t know how to handle it without being bitter.

And almost like it was perfect timing, I came across this article,ย which prompted me to write this post.
The key similarities between K’s post and the above article are that they both feel there are no good, decent men that are both available and keen to initiate a relationship, because they are just too smart or independent.
Both K and the women in the above article are stunning, attractive, talented and obviously clever. However, I also noticed that:
  • They both come across as very independent and as a result,
  • VERY intimidating to men

The problem that they have finding love is not due to their intelligence or the fact that they are educated; it is due to the high level of independence/masculinity they portray that scareย men off.

Unlike us women, men are actually very simple creatures.ย  The primary needs of a vast majority of men are to be fed, to have regular sex, and to feel needed by their woman.

A woman who comes across as very independent WILL make men feel emasculated – like they have nothing to offer her, like they have nothing they can impress her with, and like she does not need them.ย  As a result, they will not approach these women.

Men do not want female versions of themselves.ย  They are drawn to and will do anything for a woman who complements their masculinity; a woman fully in touch with her femininity, and independence is a masculine trait, NOTย  a feminine trait.

If you project an “I’m a strong independent woman that don’t need no man” vibe, then you will create a self-fulfilling prophecy and will literally end up having …….no man!

This is why a return to traditional gender roles and authentic femininity is needed today.ย  Many women have simply forgotten how to be feminine and they are now paying for it dearly.

It is not the fault of these women.ย  Many of us have been raised by our families to be independent.ย  Thanks to the influence of the Equal Rights and Feminist movement, we are bombarded all day, every day with media messages encouraging women to be independent, to do things our own way, to compete with men on all fronts, to demand equality in everything.

The manic push for feminism, female independence, death to patriarchy and the ‘you-can-do-it-all’ ideology sounds like a good idea until women end up in their thirties desperately trying to find a mate to pair bond with and have a family before their finite fertility runs out.

What they do not realise is that Patriarchy for a woman means that she will be protected and provided for, all her life.

The Biblical mandate requires masculinity and leadership in a man and submission and femininity in a woman.ย  As our society is now learning the hard way, everything falls apart when this Biblical mandate is ignored or discarded.

A woman who fiercely holds on to her independence and staunchly refuses to develop submissive and feminine traits is clearly not in submission to God.ย  A godly woman, regardless of her career or level of education, is receptive and feminine.ย  Even Alpha-type women CAN learn to be feminine.

So, here is the good news!ย  We are not slaves to our family upbringing or programming from society. We CAN deprogram ourselves from the lies that this man-hating, feminist society has fed us.ย  We CAN relearn how to be women and how to be truly feminine.

It will not be an easy or pain-free task as we would have to work on undoing decades and decades of conditioning, but it can be done.

The main resistance I get from a lot of women about embracing their femininity is the idea that being a feminine woman implies weakness and codependency.ย  This is simply not true; it is yet another lie that society fed us.

A truly feminine woman is a VERY powerful woman as only she is able to influence a man, make him do what she wants.
Try approaching a man with a masculine, independent mindset and he would resist vigorously.ย  However, approach him with a feminine mindset, and he will be putty in your hands and will move mountains for you.

Femininity has always been more powerful than feminism.ย  Always have been, always will be.

You can read more about God’s mandate and Catholic doctrine regarding femininity in theย CCC 369 – 373

If a woman feels that she is called to marriage, then she needs to embrace her femininity as God intended, as this is needed in order to fully fulfill her vocation as a wife and mother.

Our main vocation is to be women and then to express it in whatever vocation we are called to.

Our Lady, model of femininity and womanhood, pray for us!



Ungodly Rage

Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith In A Feminist World

The Privilege Of Being A Woman


ย ad Jesum per Mariam