“Catholic women, especially the traditional ones, are so picky! They hardly give us decent Catholic men a chance!” is a recurring complaint that I hear from some Catholic men who email or message me.
It’s such a common complaint that it prompted me to write this piece.
Of course, pickiness does go both ways as I have heard several stories of Catholic men with the most ridiculous expectations of women, but that is a topic that I would cover some other time.
Below are two of some of the messages that I have received from traditional Catholic men who complain that Catholic women are turning down eligible prospects because they are very picky.
I am generally in favour of women being picky, Catholic or not.
A woman is biologically driven to be picky and discerning when choosing the right man whom she would marry and have children with.
There is a good reason for this. Choosing a man who is physically fit and healthy was and still is necessary due to the subconscious drive to choose a man who can adequately provide for the family, and also protect and defend the family.
Choosing a man with resources (ie income or a stable job) is necessary as the resources will help in taking care of the vulnerable offspring, ESPECIALLY during the months when the woman is pregnant and unable to work, and also during early childhood of the offspring, when their development is crucial and therefore the mother needs to be at home, raising those children.
Yes, now we have a lot of working mothers, but this unfortunate trend has produced a lot of dysfunctional adults.
The early years of a child are crucial for healthy development. People focus so much on the physical development of the child that the emotional and psychological development often takes a backseat.
When a child has an absent mother in those early formative years and is unable to properly bond with his/her mother, what results is a dysfunctional adult, unable to bond and relate to other people. This is a major reason why there is a rise of personality disorders like sociopathy, psychopathy, and narcissism.
In America, where there was a lot of mass shootings and mass murders, the one thing that the killers all had in common was that they all attended daycare in their early years.
Lack of proper bonding with their mothers in those crucial formative years resulted in warped personality disorders.
A child’s personality becomes fully set by age 18, which is why mothers need to be at home with their children.
Here are some reasons why I think single Catholic women are being so picky:
This does not necessarily translate into men acting in a feminine manner. This can present as men who are indolent, lazy, low in ambition, or they generally just love pleasure and the easy life.
There is nothing more offputting and unattractive than a man with no manliness or masculinity, actively seeking or chasing after a traditionally feminine woman.
A feminine woman would only be drawn to her counterpart – a masculine man.
Hipster beards, pipe tobacco, lumberjack fashion and the like do not a masculine man make.
THE IMMATURE MANCHILD
There is nothing attractive about a man who spends a vast majority of his free time on video games and other childish pursuits. This, as Fr Ripperger points out, is a form of effeminacy.
Women want an adult partner, not a manchild to mother.
Spiritual and physical leadership is a Biblical requirement for husbands and men like these are unable to lead in any way, and therefore, have no business getting married.
These type of men may also go for a woman who is more educated than them or who is intellectually or financially superior to them.
Who are you kidding?! We woman can tell that such a man expects us to bear both the emotional and physical weight of the relationship.
These men are looking for a mommy, a mother-figure to fill all the roles that a man is supposed to fill.
Men complain about nagging wives when in truth, they are the ones acting in irresponsible, effeminate and childish ways. If you, as a man, put yourself in the position of effeminate, immature manchild, you change the dynamics of the relationships and you force your wife into the role of Mother, so do not complain when she starts to lead, dominate and nag you.
THE CONFUSED ABUSER
These are immature or psychologically stunted men who equate Biblical masculinity and manliness with being abusive and controlling. They have no clue how to be a man and they attempt to exert their dominance in unhealthy ways. Avoid these men like the plague, ladies. Here is what to look out for.
A man who is unwilling to be the main breadwinner for his future family deserves to be passed over. Being the breadwinner is not only a Biblical requirement for husbands, but it is ESSENTIAL for happy marriages and well-adjusted children.
Some of these men will come up with nonsense like it is too hard for the man to be the breadwinner in today’s economy.
Utter rubbish! There are lots of families thriving and surviving on just the man’s income.
Another fallacy I hear from these men is that in order for them to be the breadwinners, they need to have a high income.
Again, more nonsense! I know of several families surviving on the husband’s income and the husband is a teacher or bus driver etc.
THRIVING ON A SINGLE INCOME CAN BE DONE! Read more HERE.
Some men only go for traditional Catholic women, especially women several years younger than them, because they have an expectation of the woman being virginal and also easier to control, manipulate or dominate.
You are not fooling us. A lot of us women can sense this disgusting manipulation a mile off and are repulsed.
Any form of addiction (drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, porn etc) is a sign of a problematic personality.
Marriage is a major responsibility and an addict has no business getting married. Women want an adult, responsible partner, NOT a project. It is not our job to fix you. Grow up! Be an adult! Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Stop delegating your responsibilities to us – it is unhealthy and manipulative.
Our job is to love you, NOT fix you.
LACK OF VIRTUE
This generally presents as a man being unable to control himself with the woman he is dating.
Yes, yes, we get it that you are very attracted to us, but dude, control yourself – seriously!
If we can’t trust you with our virtue, we certainly can’t trust you to be virtuous and faithful after marriage.
A man’s inability to sacrifice his desires in relation to the woman he is courting shows lack of discipline, lack of virtue and a form of effeminacy.
Real men sacrifice. Real men do the hard stuff.
PUNCHING ABOVE HIS BELT
If you guys decide to go for a woman who is intellectually or financially superior to you, then do not get surprised if she refuses your proposal or courtship, or dominates and emasculates you in marriage.
You men want the trophy wives when you need to be staying in your lane.
A woman cannot love or submit to a man that she does not respect.
Given the above, what then does good husband material look like, in my opinion?
He must be a Catholic and preferably a traditional Catholic.
Religious differences are one of the major causes of conflict and divorce between spouses. In addition, as a man is expected to lead the family, both physically and spiritually, it is vital that he is on the same page with me when it comes to my faith and beliefs.
Personally, I would never go for anyone more than 15 years older than me or anyone more than 12 months younger than me.
FREE OF ADDICTIONS
My ideal partner should be someone free of addictions, including porn, gambling, drugs, and alcohol
OPEN TO LIFE
This is very important. There is no point in getting married if he is not open to life. Raising children and having a family is the primary function of marriage. People think that marriage is built on love; no, it is not.
Marriage is built on justice. It is to provide protection for offspring that the union produces and also to ensure mutual bodily rights.
LEADERSHIP & MATURITY
As a feminine woman, only a masculine man, capable of physical and spiritual leadership is attractive to me. How can I submit to a man that I am forced to lead and mother? He is meant to lift me and our family up to God – that is the natural order put into place by God. anything else is just chaos.
ABLE TO PROVIDE
He should be able to be the breadwinner and provide for his wife and the family.
His job type and income size are irrelevant, but he must be willing to allow me to be a Stay At Home Wife and Stay At Home Mother.
Along the same lines, such a man should not only be in stable employment but should also be reasonably ambitious. Masculinity and ambition do go hand in hand.
A man with ambition is a man with a vision for both himself and his family. He has a clear idea of what he intends to achieve and where he intends to go, and he is also able to lead his family in that direction
Thankfully, most Catholic men who write to me actually thank me for inspiring women to have higher standards.
They tell me that it can only be a good thing in the long run because it will inspire men like them to improve upon themselves and this would have a ripple effect on the family and then society.
Here’s a message that I received from one of such men.
For those men who are having their courting efforts frustrated by picky women, I will encourage you to rediscover your masculinity. Society has emasculated and feminised men so much that a vast majority of men just do not know how to be real, masculine men anymore.
It is not just about looking for traditional, feminine Catholic women. You also need to work on yourself……even more so than women, due to feminism and the sexual revolution’s active emasculation of manhood for decades.
It is a good thing that women are picky. Women have always been the great civilisers. The rise or fall of a society has always been in the hands of a woman, from Eve, to Mary, to now.
Today’s men have become feminised, infantile, impotent shadows of themselves due to the influence of women – feminists.
Now, we traditional Catholic women are here to reverse that trend; to spur you on and inspire you to become better, more masculine, more Biblical and more fulfilled versions of yourselves.
We love you and want only the best for you.
EDIT – 24TH DECEMBER 2017
Yesterday, I had a harem of women mob my page with comments and messages, attacking me for this article.
These irrational grown women, acting like hormonal teenagers, claimed that I said in my article “ALL CHILDREN WHO ATTEND DAYCARE GROW UP TO BE SOCIOPATHS OR PSYCHOPATHS” – which was a lie. I never said that!!
They kept demanding I give them sources. Really? Like, really?
The information is not just known to trained psychotherapists like me,
but also to child psychologists, psychiatrists, and Church Theologians, including Fr. Ripperger who confirms this in one of his videos.
A basic google search will turn up the sources they demand.
Do these women not know how to use the Internet?
Yet, they treat us traditional Catholic women like we are the airheads.
Well, a few hours ago, Stefan Molyneux posted a video that discussed this very same subject. He even included stats and sources too.
Perhaps he read my blog?? I’d be honoured if he did!
Oh and ps, for those men on my page, looking for a blog/source on real masculinity and sound common sense, y’all gotta follow Stefan.
In any case, find his video HERE
ad Jesum per Mariam