Veiling for Catholic mass is more popular now than it was 10 years ago.
I laugh when I see search phrases like “Is Catholic veiling for Mass in style?” because, in all honesty, veiling for Mass never really went away.
It’s not a trend that is now being resurrected. It has always been there.
Fair enough, since Vatican 2, veiling for Mass kinda fell into disuse because of THIS.
However, in several Catholic parishes around the world, such as villages in Italy, Europe and the South Americas, veiling still persisted.
In any case, I am glad to see it making a “comeback” and becoming more popular, especially among the younger generation, who have a real thirst for Catholic Tradition and authentic liturgy.
Despite all this, I still get a lot of women leaving me comments and messages telling me how much they would love to veil, but as there are little to no people veiling in their parishes, they are self-conscious about standing out in their parish.
In a way, I can relate to their trepidation about veiling because I have also been there myself.
The first time I veiled, as an adult, was at a Novus Ordo parish and I was the only one that veiled……initially, at least.
But a the time, I did not care about drawing attention to myself!
I was just filled with so much joy and love for our Lord that there was no space for self-consciousness about wearing the veil.
I was just too focused on God to be focused on self.
Herein lies what I think would help women who feel self-conscious about veiling in a parish where no-one veils.
FOCUS ON HIM – ON OUR LORD, THAT IS!
You should be more focused on God than on the reactions of people around you.
Whenever you catch yourself worrying about what people would say or think, or how they would react to you wearing the veil. repeat to yourself as many times as is necessary: “This is not about me; this is about You, Lord! “
Keep your eyes and face forward, towards the altar or the tabernacle, rather than anxiously scanning the Church.
FOCUS ON HER – OUR LADY
Remind yourself that you are veiling to emulate our Lady’s obedience to God.
Carry your Rosary in your hand when you veil.
You will be amazed at how much peace, calm and comfort you will find, holding on to our Lady’s hands.
DON’T LOOK AROUND
If you start looking around anxiously to read people’s reactions to you, others will pick up on your desperation for validation and approval.
Other women who may be considering veiling will be discouraged from doing so by watching your nervousness
Some may also see this as you trying to get approval from others and may try to shame you and shut you down – rightfully so!
Why? Because you should not be veiling to seek approval or validation from others – you are doing it for our Lord. So fake confidence, if you have to, and veil!
Keeping your attention focused on our Lord, the altar, the tabernacle, and holding your Rosary in your hand will give you an air of calm and confidence, even if you do not feel it initially.
When others see you so assured of your conviction to veil, they will respect and admire you, and our Lord even more!
Any haters or trouble-makers wanting to shut you down or ridicule you will be deterred because you look so confident about your veiling.
Any women who are considering veiling, but nervous about it, will feel empowered and encouraged by your actions, and also make the decision themselves to veil.
Any newcomers to the Church or to the faith will have their curiosity piqued and their interest in the faith increased.
Do you know see how much of a powerful testimony you are proclaiming, simply by being quiet, feminine and obedient to God?
Do you realise the number of souls you are evangelising to and bringing into God’s Kingdom through your silent act of obedience?!
Veiling at Mass is indeed powerful and a wonderful way to be feminine, traditional, obedient to God and silently drawing others to Him!
And here’s a little secret: when you wear the veil, it shields your peripheral vision from the intrusive gaze of others and also from YOU being distracted by others.
Not only does this create a beautifully intimate cocoon between our Lord and you, His precious bride, but it is also a display of modesty, submission, obedient receptivity and feminine beauty.
GET A PROP!
Sometimes, having a prop in the form of someone by our side or something in our hands can help divert your hyperfocus on self.
Your prop could be your Rosary, as mentioned above, or your friend, a sibling, a Missal, your husband, or even your baby!
My prop when I first started veiling was my husband!
Having him by my side most likely contributed to me being able to lose some of my self-consciousness and keep myself focused on God.
THE QUESTIONS! OH, THE QUESTIONS!!
This may occur on your first day of veiling or several days later, but you may inevitably be asked questions about your veil or your decision to veil.
Do not bring any attention to yourself or to your veil.
Do not talk about it either.
Do, however, respond when you are asked about it
Keep your answers short, friendly and sweet, referring them to online or other resources on veiling, if necessary.
You can even send them to this website or my video
Do not get caught up in arguments and long discussion sessions about veiling and its validity.
It is better for them to find the information from 3rd party sources than for you to come across as ACTIVELY trying to convince them to veil.
Believe me, you wearing the veil is powerful enough to work on their subconscious indirectly.
Even if they do not approach you about your veil, they will google it and find answers themselves.
In my case, nobody approached me about my veiling.
However, a few weeks later, I started seeing more and more people veiling in my parish.
My veiling, through Christ’s grace, worked to convince other women to obey God and veil, all without me saying a word! Deo gratias!!
KEEP IT SIMPLE; KEEP IT SUBTLE
When you are new to veiling and also self-conscious about it, it might help to keep your veil choices simple.
There is no need to veil according to the liturgical seasons like I mentioned HERE and you may wish to skip Infinity Veils for now
I would suggest veiling according to your hair colour.
If you have dark or black hair, wear a black mantilla veil
Wear a brown or burgundy veil for brown, red or auburn hair.
A gold veil for blonde hair
Then when you feel more comfortable about veiling, you can wear ANY OF THESE with confidence!
Hope you find these tips helpful.
Is there anything else you would add to the list?
Do keep me updated on your veiling progress!!
Our Lady, Sedes Sapientiae, ora pro nobis!
ad Jesum per Mariam
17 thoughts on “Veiling For Mass When You Are Self-Conscious”
I am no lady nor anything similar.
However just to help your post where did the shawl, manilla, veil head covering basically came from?
Here the Apostle saint Paul Explained to the Corinthians since the greeks allowed their woman to not have head covering in church:
”  Be ye followers of me, as I also am of Christ.  Now I praise you, brethren, that in all things you are mindful of me: and keep my ordinances as I have delivered them to you.  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.  Every man praying or prophesying with his head covered, disgraceth his head.  But every woman praying or prophesying with her head not covered, disgraceth her head: for it is all one as if she were shaven.
 For if a woman be not covered, let her be shorn. But if it be a shame to a woman to be shorn or made bald, let her cover her head.  The man indeed ought not to cover his head, because he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man.  For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man.  For the man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man.  Therefore ought the woman to have a power over her head, because of the angels.
 “A power”: that is, a veil or covering, as a sign that she is under the power of her husband: and this, the apostle adds, because of the angels, who are present in the assemblies of the faithful.
 But yet neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord.  For as the woman is of the man, so also is the man by the woman: but all things of God.  You yourselves judge: doth it become a woman, to pray unto God uncovered?  Doth not even nature itself teach you, that a man indeed, if he nourish his hair, it is a shame unto him?  But if a woman nourish her hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering.
 But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor the church of God.  Now this I ordain: not praising you, that you come together not for the better, but for the worse.”
– 1st Epistle of St Paul to the Corinthians 11:1-16
Have a great day mam.
loved the article, Seven Secrets of the Eucharist helped me make the decision to wear my veil all the time with conviction. I made the decision after hearing the talk to wear the veil no matter how I felt because I wanted to show reverence for my lord. I have been wearing the veil now for three years.
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I plan to go to a Chaldean church where veiling might be mandatory. I bought a veil and it came with a tiny comb separate from the veil. Is it meant to be sewn in if needed? Also the cross bar has a clear plastic cover. Might that be for shipping protection?
Yes and yes
Being in a parish that admonishes you for wearing a veil has been a struggle for me. I was told by my pastor to remove my veil and never wear it there again. So I am no longer attending that parish. It was like being told I can’t kneel or bow down in worship for our Lord. I know leaving seems rash, but staying could have caused more harm than good. Sometimes we need to shake the dust from our feet… We are praying that we find a new Church home.
Oh no. I am so sorry that your pastor treated you that way.
Paige, when I started veiling, I was grateful for how subtle the infinity veils were. I have dark brown hair and bought a navy blue one. I can wear it like a scarf before I enter church and just pull it up. Mine has a tiny snap-comb so don’t even have to worry about it moving or falling and can focus on mass. Then, when I exit the church, I can easily unclip it and let it fall back around my neck as a scarf until I have a moment to myself to remove it and put it back in its bag in my car.
I’m in high school and I started wearing a veil a couple months ago, I’m the only one in my family who wears it. I was really self-conscious at first then I noticed a few people started wearing them after I did and a couple weeks ago a little girl behind me in church told her mom, “Look, mommy, she’s a princess!”
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Oh! That is just so precious!! Thank you for sharing!
I veil whilst in Church – full stop which takes away the ‘went to’ question.
personally I would not feel happy as a married woman wearing a white veil although I think they look perfect on younger women and all the girls in our family do wear white.
My experience is that you only feel self conscious the first time after that you feel very self conscious if you do not veil.
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In catholicism you do not wear the veil outside church property. For example if you are at home or store market or dance etc etc etc you do not need the veil, shawl nor any sort of head covering unless of you want it for fashion but is not mandatory nor anything similar.
Only inside church property is mandatory because it comes from the early Jewish customs and even our Lord enever talked against it.
The Apostle saint Paul when he went to Greece he enforced the Corinthians in his exortation 1st letter to the Corinthians ch 11 the woman must wear a head covering inside church property.
For the greeks thus was something new because the greeks actually in their pagan temples the woman did not wear any head coverings.
The apostles could have made it very easily but they did not.
Quite the contrary. They reinforced the woman to wear the head covering inside the church property.
I’m new to Catholicism and would like to start veiling, but my hair is colored blue (I know it may seem strange that I am self conscious about wearing a veil with an obviously noticeable hair color). I see a lot of women wearing white veils, but my hair color would stain them quickly. I’m also married and have read that most married women wear darker veils. Would it be wrong to wear a light or standard blue veil so that it would blend with my hair color more easily?
Yes, you can do. The important thing is that a) you veil , and b) in a colour that you feel comfortable.
You can also wear black
The color does not matter as long as the hair is covered (except in holy week..) when you go to holy Thursday and holy Friday woman wear all black dresses as well as black manilla, shalws, veils, headscarves and basically black during that time is a symbol of mourning.
But as for all other days of the week it does not matter which color you choose.
Ideally your hair would not be visible in church property.
Outside is different case, everything has its time and place.
I would ask what your policy is for when to put the veil on and when to take it off. I usually have it on before I enter the nave. I take it off when I exit the nave, but maybe I should keep it on until I exit the church building or maybe when I get to the car?
As long as you are veiled in the Presence, it shouldn’t really matter.
There are no hard and fast rules there.
As long as you are inside the church where the blessed sacrament is you should not take off your veil, matilla nor shawl, headscarf.
Once you leave the church building and you are outside is different case.
Ideally inside church property woman would wear veil in all church property. But outside is different case.
Unfortunately that art has been lost in the western hemisphere.
But traditionally all the woman weared veil
When 1960s came many reformation unfortunately came and gradually was lost overtime. Except in the traditional Latin rite with the society of Institute of Christ the king.
In most byzantine churches (orthodoxy fully in communion with Rome) 100% catholic and 100% orthodo,, thanks to God they keep that tradition which I find it very beautiful that the woman have a deeper sense of respect to God.
All the priests will admit to this tradition.
Unfortunately, there is some priests that mention that church change tines.
But we must remember what Cardinal Ratzinger before he became Pope Benedict XVI said long time ago in some part of Latin America as far as another topic
” the church… cannot abolish all the old traditions it must be in continuity with the first Vatican council.” (That was during a speech in Spanish)
He also said during his pontificate basically some think that by the reforms that it suddenly prohibited the old litirgy, what was sacred for the Old must also be sacred to the younger generation which it was a different letter explaining the Motuo Propio encyclical.
The Apostles could have changed the rules for the sake of making the Corinthians comfortable. But actually they did the contrary. Because the Jewish customs always the woman in front of God they wore their hair covering.
Our Lord in His time he could have allowed the woman to not have head covering.
But quite the contrary, our Lord did not came to break the laws but to fufill it. It was a Jewish custom which God established permanent gender roles.
Men and woman are equal in dignity but… with completely different roles as you can see the 1st letter to the Corinthians ch 11