This particular issue has been weighing on my mind for a while and I had considered making a blog post about this, but for some reason, kinda forgot.
So I came across this Twitter thread that prompted me to write this blog post.
Below is the Twitter thread
When it comes to young people in traditional Catholic circles, I can’t help but notice a growing problem when it comes to marriage.
We have a lack of real men that can’t even reach the minimum when it comes to being marriageable. Then we have young Catholic women unable to find suitable mates.
These women are aging beyond their prime because they can’t find men that reach standard, three things happen :
1) They wait, losing their precious years of fertility. This causes desperation, because women have a biological clock to beat. Every year beyond 25 increases chances of complication.
2) They lower their standards, which tends to lead to unhappy, broken marriages.
3) Or they simply look for older men. Not all of them desire this, and even marriageable men above 30 are still hard to come by.
From the observation of others and myself, its clear that there is a high female to male ratio across the TLM communities. Women are racing against the clock, and men aren’t maturing fast enough. So what needs to happen?
Before you go full MGTOW on me, we all know that not every woman reaches the standards for motherhood, there’s countless examples. I wouldn’t trust some on here to raise a pet, but we’re not worried about that simply because virtuous women still out number us.
There are too many guys on here (including myself) that have deluded themselves into thinking they’re ready for marriage. We aren’t even close. Why aren’t men reaching the same standards they desire in women?
It’s no surprise that the average man today is an effeminate mess. The modern world hates every masculine, boys are completely testosterone depleted. Masculinity is suppressd, not embrace like it used to be. But we can recover.
All men should be working on the holy trinity of marriagbility: spiritual, physical and financial excellence!
Traditional women want men that will lead them, and their future children to heaven. YOU have to be the example. Man is head of the family. If you aren’t striving for holiness, don’t even bother. Pray more, conquer the 6th Commandment, and stop watching porn.
The scenario described above isn’t just exclusive to Catholic circles; it is a global issue and one that needs to be addressed.
The solution to this is simple: marry an older man; preferably 10-15 years older. He should be at least 35-37 years or ideally, 45+ .
Women generally mature faster than men, approximately 10-12 years faster. So if you are dating a man who is the same age as you, you’ll find that he has the mentality of someone 10-12 years younger, which is so not attractive!
If you are the type of woman who is more masculine ie you are prone to lead your husband or mother him, you may like this, but if you are a traditional woman who prefers to be led and be taken care of, then this would not feel natural to you and for good reason.
You are not created to mother a man. Mothering a man is modern’s society way of emasculating and feminising men and for successful marriages and families to thrive, this dynamic should not be encouraged because everyone loses out in the end – EVERYONE.
I do believe that God made women this way because her accelerated mental and psychological development is required to properly raise the next generation.
I also believe that God set up this design so the woman will be more suited to a man who is 10-15 years older, as a man in that stage of his life is generally in a better place, financially and materially to protect, led and provide for her and their children.
This is why men hit their 40s and start swapping out their same-age spouses for younger women, or start chasing after younger women. Or they start going for sugar babies.
Don’t blame or shame them. Don’t blame this on mid-life crisis either. They are simply doing what their biology was created to do.
Despite his biological maturity, a man is just not mentally, psychologically or materially ready to be married and have a family until his late 30s to mid 40s.
Now, I am not advocating men abandoning their wives for a younger model.
I am simply saying, to the women out there who are unable to find a suitable mate, go older! Date a man 10-15 years older, especially if he is 45+ years old.
Trust me. You will save yourself the heartache and wasted time.
Not only would your older spouse cherish and love you more than if you were the same age; you will remain ever youthful to him and the chances of you being heartbroken later in life should he choose to get a younger woman, resort to porn and neglect you are slim to none.
The only problem with this is that today’s women have become too masculine.
Men biologically choose a mate for their youth and beauty.
Women biologically choose a mate for the comfort and material security he can provide her.
A woman who is out of sync with her femininity will baulk at the idea of going for an older man, even if he is more suited to protect and provide for her. This woman desires a good-looking man, a nice face or a hot body – THAT desire that prioritises a man’s look over this ability to provide is a masculine trait.
When you reconnect with your true femininity and reject the lies fed to you by feminism, modern women and today’s looks-obsessed culture, you will understand that one of the most important traits for choosing a future husband is NOT what he looks like, but his ability to provide for you and the children that will result from your union.
If you, as a woman, do not understand this, you honestly have no business getting married, let alone bringing a child into this world.
And if you do decide to marry a man based on how good-looking he is or based on him being within your age-range, then you should not complain when you reach your 40s and your marriage rapidly goes downhill.
Follow God’s plan. Marry while you are in your mid-twenties and above, but marry a man who is 10-15 years older than you.
For sure, there are lots of same-age marriages that work out and decades later, the couple are still completely besotted with each other – their marriage never been tainted with infidelity, adultery, or porn. But these marriages are the exception and not the norm.
Just like there are several people who smoke and don’t get cancer.
Do you REALLY want to take that gamble?!
What then does this mean for the younger men?
Keep working on yourself. Build your career and get a solid foundation for yourself, financially and materially. Work on leadership skills as leading a home is like being the CEO of a small company.
If you are not an executive at work, volunteer in your spare time with the Scouts, Knights of Columbus or similar organisations so you can learn and acquire leadership, character and collaborative skills – you will need them in order to be an effective husband, father and leader of the home.
You younger men say that you are ready for marriage. You are not. You are really not.
What you mean is that you want a permanent housekeeper with whom you can have unrestricted sex whenever you want.
This is not fair on your would-be spouse and it is no wonder that many of your marriages deteriorate into the Mommy-ManBaby role. She is too mature for you and you are far from ready to be a husband and father.
Try again in your mid-forties, k?
Don’t want to wait that long? Well, grow up then! As the Twitter thread above suggests, real traditional women want men who are mature enough to lead, guide and protect them.
Grow up! Give up the porn and excessive gaming. Develop leadership skills.
Only a man who is mature, responsible and knows how to lead is ready for the responsibility of being a husband and father, and worth submitting to
Until then, truly traditional women will pass you over for older, mature and more established men. Your choice.
Our Lady, seat of wisdom, pray for us!
ad Jesum per Mariam