On the question of gift exchange between the sexes, some people asked me if women can give gifts to men.
Well, of course, you can!!
As TCF focuses on the restoration and expression of traditional gender roles, gift-giving is something that is traditionally geared towards the masculine i.e. it’s something that men do or are expected do, more than women.
Men give gifts more frequently as an expression of his sense of responsibility towards his spouse and as an indication of his willingness and ability to provide. It’s part of the courtship dance before marriage and the wooing dance after marriage.
Investing in physical and material items is a masculine trait and men invest in things and people that they see as valuable.
A man giving you a generous gift is subconsciously telling you that he sees you as a person of high value and of longterm potential.
Do you then have to give him an equally elaborate gift? No!
The best way to reciprocate is to look nice and feminine, and gift him with your beautiful, feminine presence and caring acts of service.
Your physical presence in his life, you taking care of yourself and your appearance, being sweet and feminine and performing acts of service and nurturing such as cooking for him and so on, is much more appreciated than you giving him a gift. Trust me.
Women who want to match men in their level of gift-giving are women who are still in masculine energy and are still under the curse of Eve and feminism.
These women feel uncomfortable about receiving from men, be it allowing him to pay on dates or to giving her gifts, because they secretly want to be able to dominate and control him.
They do not want to yield and receive.
This is not healthy or Biblical femininity and womanhood.
Feminine energy receives.
These women need to unlearn society and feminist programming that a woman is selfish or materialistic for graciously receiving gifts from a guy.
When God created Adam with all the material goods before then presenting Eve to Adam, Eve did not look at all the material items available and then rush around trying to match Adam’s level of generosity.
She calmly received and then nurtured what Adam gave to her.
Women who argue that they prefer to have practical gifts are generally also women who:
- want control and dominance in the relationship,
- do not want to submit or yield to their spouse
- who do not believe in continuing to make an effort in improving themselves after marriage, especially in the areas of grooming and appearance. They tend to let themselves go and by extension neglect their husbands, both physically and sensually.
These key areas are what men want in women – a loving, attentive, receptive and yielding woman who is also beautiful, feminine and practices good grooming – and these women want to “have the upperhand” by depriving him of this.
It is all done subconsciously, but it’s incredibly manipulative and destructive to the union.-
So, lads, take note when a woman you are dating scoffs at romantic gifts that you give her, tries to match you in generosity or quantity or insists that she prefers practical gifts.
She is competing with you – she wants to be the man.
She is also displaying that:
- she resents having to be feminine,
- she is unwilling to submit to you,
- she has a deep desire to dominate/control/nag/fix you, and
- after commitment, she would let herself go and by extension neglect you too.
Now, back to the topic of gift-giving
As a general rule, we tend to give people what we want for ourselves, and not necessarily what the other person wants.
It is a form of projection and it is a little selfish part of the human condition, but once you are aware of it, you can work on it.
Women who are out of touch with their femininity will want practical gifts for special events – even though these types of gifts can be exchanged at other times.
This is all done so they don’t feel obliged to be receptive, feminine or submissive to their partner.
They want to exert control in the relationship.
They want to be the man, leading and driving the relationship, instead of allowing themselves to be wooed, cherish and appreciated.
They may also be repulsed by their partner, hankering after another man and have lost interest in the physical side of their marriage.
Men, who give their women a practical gift tend to do this when they have no emotional investment in their partner – they don’t love her anymore or they are hankering after someone else.
So, can a woman give her boyfriend a gift and what type of gift should she give?
As a woman, you can definitely give your boyfriend or spouse a gift, but he would more than likely appreciate a practical gift more than a romantic gift.
Be sure to also look feminine, smell nice and wear something pretty too!
This is the romance that a man in touch with his masculinity WANTS.
He doesn’t care about you giving him romantic tokens like flowers, chocolate and so on, and he also wants to be able to spoil you with sweet, tender and romantic gifts.
If he is not seeing you in a romantic, feminine manner, he will have no sexual desire for you as he does want to sleep with another man.
By insisting on practical gifts from your man, instead of letting him give you romantic gifts, you are killing his desire for you.
Don’t do it!!
Now, there are women who want certain practical or non-romantic gifts, such as a new cooker and so on.
If you have been married for a while, then a household or practical gift like this IS a romantic gift because:
a) It is what you really want, and
b) it shows that he is thinking of you as he took the time to note and remember what you wanted.
A huge red flag is when the man courting you is giving you practical gifts, instead of romantic gifts.
He hasn’t even won your hand in marriage yet and he is already getting complacent – bad sign!
Having said that, the best holidays for a husband to give his wife practical gifts are birthdays, NOT Christmas, Valentine’s Day or definitely not anniversaries.
Just because you are married is no excuse to get complacent either in your appearance (for women) or wooing dance (for men).
Complacency and laziness kill marriages and opens up the door to infidelity.
Always make time for romance.
Show me a couple who scoff at romantic gestures and have stopped making time for romance, and I’ll show you a sexless, miserable marriage, and where one or both partners are cheating, physically or emotionally.
One of the primary purposes of marriage is to enable the fulfilment of physical and emotional needs.
Romance is the fuel that keeps the fire going.
Kill the romance and your marriage would quickly disintegrate into platonic friendship at best or a business-like partnership, at worst.
Either way, it is only a matter of time before one partner starts getting their emotional and physical needs fulfiled – elsewhere!
Happy marriages just don’t happen!
You’ve got to work at it and keep it maintained, by making time for fun and romance.
Wooing, continuing to court your wife and treat her, continuing to maintain your appearance and flirt with your husband – these all the basic building blocks of romance and it is VERY offensive to the vocation of marriage to resort to laziness, simply because you’ve been married for a decade or more.
One of my hobbies is photography and my first professional DSLR Camera was given to me as a gift by my husband, on my birthday!
Although it was a practical gift, it was also very romantic to me because I’d mentioned a couple of months ago on how much I wish I had a camera.
For Christmas, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day, however, my husband’s gifts to me are always romantic eg flowers, a weekend trip away, our 2nd honeymoon, exotic chocolates, a rare potted plant species, pretty silk scarves, lingerie, jewellery, perfume and so on.
In summary, the overall take-home message of this article is this:
Men, give your girlfriend or wife a ROMANTIC gift.
Any practical gifts should be limited to birthdays and household items don’t count as gifts – sorry!
Anything that will be used or benefitted by the entire family is not a personal gift; just get it for the family and stop calling it a gift for your wife as a way of getting out of buying her an actual gift!
Women, all you need to do is to receive graciously.
Be sure to also dress nice, smell amazing, look pretty and pamper him.
Whatever you do, do not give him a romantic gift!
Give your boyfriend or husband a PRACTICAL gift, instead!
His favourite book, a Rosary, a tie, a T-shirt, cufflinks, box of tools, something for his work desk and so on.
These are better than jewellery, chocolate, perfume, potted plant, pets or flowers.
Sts Zelie and Louis Martin, model of marital perfection, pray for us!
St Joseph and Mary, embodiment of hashtag couple goals, make our marriages one with yours.
ad Jesum per Mariam