Giving Gifts In A Relationship

tradcatfem, traditional catholic femininity, giving gifts in a relationship, gift ideas for someone you just started dating, dating gift ideas for her, best gift to give a girl you like, how to stop giving too much, do gifts matter in a relationship, why gifts are so important, importance of gifts in our life, why do we give gifts to each other, essay on importance of gifts, gifts giving relationship psychology, psychology of giving and receiving gifts, do gifts matter in a relationship, catholic dating, catholic dating advice, catholic dating rules, catholic relationship dating rules, how to date a catholic, discerning marriage partner catholic, catholic how long to date before engagement, catholic courtship length, traditional catholic courtship, catholic courtship rules, dating as a catholic man, finding a good catholic husband, how to date as a catholic,
A traditional Catholic gentleman contacted me to ask what sort of acceptable or suitable gifts he can give to the lady he is dating.
I am rather impressed by this honourable man and his desire not only to court his lady properly, but also to make her happy.  She is a very lucky lady and he would make a really fine husband someday.
Before I answer the gentleman’s question, I want to explain the significance and importance of gift giving in a relationship
.
.
SIGNIFICANCE AND IMPORTANCE OF GIVING GIFTS
I am very much aware that some men today actually complain about having to give gifts to their girlfriends, other than the obligatory birthday and perhaps Christmas gifts.
.
.
These men whine and moan, and then try to shame the women into silence and compliance by directly or indirectly labelling her materialistic, selfish or a gold-digger.
.
.
Some of these guys, to demonstrate their utterly selfish, effeminate and despicable nature, eagerly read and rejoice at my articles admonishing women to be sweet, docile and submissive, but they then baulk at the thought of buying gifts for their lady, paying for her when they ask her out on a date, or even financially supporting her when married.
.
.
Such selfishness of this nature with a desire for submissiveness from a woman is a hallmark of abusive, predatory men, ladies, so avoid these men like the plague.
 .
.
To these, selfish and effeminate men, I have news for you.
.
.
Gift giving from a man to his intended during the courtship phase is an ancient tradition, universally viewed as the man demonstrating to the woman that he is able to do what God originally directed Man to do, from the beginning of time – to provide.  THIS is the natural order of things.
.
.
Isn’t it interesting that regardless of religion or race, people of all cultures follow this tradition as part of the modern dating process?  Except, of course, the effeminate men who expect a woman to pay when he asks her out on a date.
.
.
When a man takes his intended out on dates and for meals, and also gives her gifts, he is instinctively letting her know:
  • that he cares for her,
  • that he is of good genetic stock (ie healthy enough to be able to work and earn a living and thus able to procreate),
  • that he is able and willing to feed her, and provide for her, both materially and financially, as well as any offspring they might have.

In the past, a man who is unable to demonstrate his worthiness as a provider would have been rejected. Having a wife was a status symbol, demonstrating he has good stock to be able to provide for a woman and also ensure the survival of his genes by having a family with her.

Even today, married men are more respected, both at work and within the community, than their single counterparts.

Feminism did women a HUGE disservice by fostering the mindset that women can do it all, women SHOULD do it all, and we are “independent women that need no man”.  So of course, women got programmed and conditioned to pay on dates when men ask them out, to expect little or no material investment from the guy, and basically a managing down their expectations.

So of course, women got programmed and conditioned to pay on dates when men ask them out, to expect little or no material investment from the guy, and basically to manage down their expectations and lower their standards.

Men saw this and they relaxed their courting efforts.  They no longer had to pursue, to woo or win a woman over anymore.  Hey, the woman will pay on dates….. she will even chase after the man, and initiate dates and so on in the relationship. They became more disrespectful and more abusive.  Women in response became harder, colder and more masculine.

This is a perversion of the natural order.  Remember, the devil likes to pervert everything that is of God.  Anything that is not of God is of the devil, so when you act and behave in a manner contrary to God’s plan and the natural order, you ARE giving glory to the devil, and opening yourself up to all sorts of evil in your life. Men are supposed to be the ones to initiate and to give, the woman to be receptive – even the male and female sexual organs are a reminder of this!

In God’s natural order, men are supposed to be the ones to initiate and to give, the woman to be receptive and nurture – even the male and female sexual organs are a reminder of this!

When the natural order became perverted, the base nature of men also become perverted and controlled by the devil.  The men became more disrespectful and more abusive.  Women in response became harder, colder and more masculine. Chaos! War of the sexes!

Chaos! War of the sexes! The breakup of the family! Just how the devil wants it.

Thankfully, there are still traditional men out there that know how to treat a woman and who are still in their masculine power.

When I was dating, I never EVER  was allowed to pay on any date I was asked on and I also received gifts during the relationship.

So how do we turn around this tide of stingy, effeminate men shaming women by labelling them gold-diggers or materialistic, simply because the women have standards and are following their natural God-given instinct to only marry and procreate with a man who demonstrates he is able to give and to provide?

Here’s how we do it, ladies.  Stop. Dating. These. Men.   That’s it!  

Avoid them.  Do not date, befriend or entertain them in any way.   Understand that they are not in submission to God’s natural order and that they are working on an instinct that is not of God.

A man does not need to spend his entire life savings or monthly income on you, but be very wary, ladies, of a man who is not investing time, money AND effort on you.  Such a man is not emotionally vested in you or after your best interests. He does not love you, regardless of what he says.
A man who is stingy with his wallet towards you will be stingy with his heart towards you.
He will be cold, uncaring, distant and unloving towards you in marriage, fulfilling his lust in the arms of other women, digital (porn) or real world.
So now that I have covered the importance and significance of gift giving in a relationship, I will now go into what sort of gifts are acceptable. And no, the answer is not lingerie, if you are still dating or courting.
giving gifts in a relationship, gift ideas for someone you just started dating, dating gift ideas for her, best gift to give a girl you like, how to stop giving too much, do gifts matter in a relationship, why gifts are so important, importance of gifts in our life, why do we give gifts to each other, essay on importance of gifts, gifts giving relationship psychology, psychology of giving and receiving gifts, do gifts matter in a relationship, catholic dating, catholic dating advice, catholic dating rules, catholic relationship dating rules, how to date a catholic, discerning marriage partner catholic, catholic how long to date before engagement, catholic courtship length, traditional catholic courtship, catholic courtship rules, dating as a catholic man, finding a good catholic husband, how to date as a catholic,
SIGNIFICANT GIFTS TO GIVE DURING THE RELATIONSHIP
Guys, when it comes to gifts for women, you can never really go wrong with jewellery.
But what kind of jewellery do you give her and when?
Gifts in relationships are generally exchanged during birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s and anniversaries.   During these periods, it is a good idea to take get her flowers, take her out for a meal somewhere nice, and so on.
Feel free to give her gifts as often as you like.  Like I said, they don’t need to be expensive….. a box of chocolates here, a book there, a bunch of flowers here and so on.  You get the idea.
However, there are certain stages in a relationship where significant gifts should be exchanged, not just as a demonstration of your desire to provide and care for her, but also as a statement of your intentions for the relationship.
For example, when you show her that you intend to marry her, you give her an engagement ring.  When you show her that you intend to spend the rest of your life with her, you give her a wedding ring, but what gifts can be exchanged during the various phases and stages of the relationship up until the engagement?
The answer, of course, is jewellery!
Just as a form of jewellery is given to her when you propose (an engagement ring) and when you marry her (a wedding ring), so too jewellery should be given at the key stages of the relationship.
As I mentioned in previous blog post, the stages of a traditional Catholic courtship are:
  • Friendship stage
  • Courtship stage
  • Engagement and Betrothal stage

If you haven’t done so already, I would recommend that you read up about these stages HERE.

 

JEWELLERY FOR THE FRIENDSHIP STAGE

During this stage, you are beginning to know each other as friends, and not just merely passing acquaintances.  You are also trying to determine if you both have enough things in common and mutual attraction before formally courting her.

Obviously, you do not have to give a gift at the beginning of this stage, but at some point, halfway through the Friendship stage, an acceptable gift to give her would be a bracelet or a charm bracelet.

Something delicate, feminine and made of good quality, so, not something cheap that you’d get from the corner-store.

Remember, if you do get married to her, this jewellery will be a marker and a reminder for both of you, your children and grandchildren for years to come, of the both of you beginning this journey together.

The bracelet itself does not need to be overly expensive, but it does need to be of good quality and preferably made of gold.

 

Bracelet

 

Charm Bracelet

giving gifts in a relationship, gift ideas for someone you just started dating, dating gift ideas for her, best gift to give a girl you like, how to stop giving too much, do gifts matter in a relationship, why gifts are so important, importance of gifts in our life, why do we give gifts to each other, essay on importance of gifts, gifts giving relationship psychology, psychology of giving and receiving gifts, do gifts matter in a relationship, catholic dating, catholic dating advice, catholic dating rules, catholic relationship dating rules, how to date a catholic, discerning marriage partner catholic, catholic how long to date before engagement, catholic courtship length, traditional catholic courtship, catholic courtship rules, dating as a catholic man, finding a good catholic husband, how to date as a catholic,

 

JEWELLERY FOR THE COURTSHIP STAGE:

So you have decided that you would like to court her and get to know her better, officially declaring to her and the world that you two are an exclusive item.

An acceptable gift for this period would be a pair of earrings or a pendant-earring set.

Once again, something delicate, feminine, and of good quality that is preferably in a classic style that would stand the test of time.

You would present this gift to her at the moment you ask to court her and make your relationship official.

 

Earrings

 

Pendant Set

giving gifts in a relationship, gift ideas for someone you just started dating, dating gift ideas for her, best gift to give a girl you like, how to stop giving too much, do gifts matter in a relationship, why gifts are so important, importance of gifts in our life, why do we give gifts to each other, essay on importance of gifts, gifts giving relationship psychology, psychology of giving and receiving gifts, do gifts matter in a relationship, catholic dating, catholic dating advice, catholic dating rules, catholic relationship dating rules, how to date a catholic, discerning marriage partner catholic, catholic how long to date before engagement, catholic courtship length, traditional catholic courtship, catholic courtship rules, dating as a catholic man, finding a good catholic husband, how to date as a catholic,

JEWELLERY  FOR THE ENGAGEMENT STATE:

She is the one!  You are convinced of that!  This is the woman that is bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh, the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

The obvious gift that you present to her at this stage is an engagement ring.  Choice of the stone and style of the ring is entirely dependent on both your preferences, but I personally prefer a diamond ring, simply because it is traditional and a timeless classic.

The choice of the stone and style of the ring is entirely dependent on both your preferences, but I personally prefer a diamond ring, simply because it is traditional and a timeless classic.

The engagement ring you choose is then presented to her when you go down on one knee and ask her to be your bride and wife.

White Gold Engagement Ring

giving gifts in a relationship, gift ideas for someone you just started dating, dating gift ideas for her, best gift to give a girl you like, how to stop giving too much, do gifts matter in a relationship, why gifts are so important, importance of gifts in our life, why do we give gifts to each other, essay on importance of gifts, gifts giving relationship psychology, psychology of giving and receiving gifts, do gifts matter in a relationship, catholic dating, catholic dating advice, catholic dating rules, catholic relationship dating rules, how to date a catholic, discerning marriage partner catholic, catholic how long to date before engagement, catholic courtship length, traditional catholic courtship, catholic courtship rules, dating as a catholic man, finding a good catholic husband, how to date as a catholic,

 

Yellow Gold Engagement Ring

 

Halo Frame Diamond Ring

giving gifts in a relationship, gift ideas for someone you just started dating, dating gift ideas for her, best gift to give a girl you like, how to stop giving too much, do gifts matter in a relationship, why gifts are so important, importance of gifts in our life, why do we give gifts to each other, essay on importance of gifts, gifts giving relationship psychology, psychology of giving and receiving gifts, do gifts matter in a relationship, catholic dating, catholic dating advice, catholic dating rules, catholic relationship dating rules, how to date a catholic, discerning marriage partner catholic, catholic how long to date before engagement, catholic courtship length, traditional catholic courtship, catholic courtship rules, dating as a catholic man, finding a good catholic husband, how to date as a catholic,

MORE HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR MEN WHILE COURTING:

Boy Meets Girl:  Say Hello To Courtship

Three To Get Married

4 thoughts on “Giving Gifts In A Relationship

    1. No, there is no flip side. The question came from guy in relation to a woman, so this article was written from that angle.

      A traditional woman should never ever give gifts, especially jewellery, to initiate the stages of a courtship.

      The man initiates by giving jewellery.

      He is demonstrating his ability to provide for her and their offspring,. A woman does not need to reciprocate as she is not under a mandate to provide for him – a man is to be the main breadwinner of the family. That is tradition, that is how God intended, and that is the natural order of things.

      Like

  1. I’m a little uncomfortable with the mentions of genetics in this post because as a disabled person I’m always on the lookout for attitudes that smack of the heresy of eugenics. Other than that, this was a good and genuinely helpful post.

    Like

    1. Thanks for your insight.
      I don’t think it is case of refusing to procreate with someone due to race…..more like, wanting to have children with someone fit and healthy to do so
      Historically, whether we are comfortable with it or not, this was what people did.
      Theirs was done purely for economic reasons and it makes solid sense as there is no point bringing a child into the world if you do not have the funds to care for the child. It is irresponsible and unfair on the child. So proof of income or status was used to demonstrate that a man is capable of financially supporting a wife and his family.

      Even today, the Church traditionally admonishes that a man needs to be physically, spiritually and financially sound before taking a step into marriage, with good reason.

      In addition, the Church permits married couples to practise NFP to space out their children in order to avoid bringing in so many children into the world that the parents cannot financially or materially provide for.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s