“Well, That Is Not Very Feminine Or Catholic Of You!”
This is a common accusation tossed around by toxic, manipulative and dysfunctional people when you assert your boundaries and standards, and/or refuse disrespectful, dishonourable and unBiblical behaviour.
Please, understand what these manipulative people are REALLY saying is that they are FURIOUS at you for having standards, boundaries and virtues as this makes it difficult for them to manipulate you, dishonour you or ruin your virtue.
They want you to believe that femininity equates being a doormat so that they can trample all over your boundaries and standards.
They also think that you are gullible enough to give in to their shaming and baiting language, and lower your boundaries, standards, virtue, and self-respect in order to appease them.
See their behaviour for what it is and do not EVER try to J.A.D.E.- Justify, Argue, Explain or Defend yourself to these people.
The world is full of billions of people and there are lots of other people out there that will respect and accept your boundaries, standards and virtues, be it in a friendship or romantic relationship.
The feminine Catholic woman is a virtuous woman and she knows that having virtue involves having standards, boundaries and self-respect.
Proverbs 31:10 says:
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies
The feminine Catholic woman is discerning and she treats herself with value, as the daughter of the King that she is, and does not give everyone access to her life or her presence – either online or offline.
The feminine Catholic woman is not a doormat or people-pleaser.
She knows that God is the only One that she needs to appease.
Therefore, she does not J.A.D.E (see above) anyone that baits, provokes, attacks or gaslights her femininity.
She is also not cantankerous and she does not allow herself to be drawn into debates, arguments or bickering.
When manipulative and dysfunctional people attack her standards and boundaries with statements such as “Well. That is not very Catholic/feminine of you.” she understands that she is being baited into a debate or response, and she acts in the best and most feminine way to respond, which is
NO RESPONSE – COMPLETE SILENCE.
Most normal people will take a hint and move on, but the dysfunctional, destructive and disordered person will persist in baiting, shaming, provoking or addressing her to create conflict.
At this point, the feminine Catholic woman’s response to such people will be to disengage, unfriend, leave their presence, block or go No Contact from this person or persons.
Disordered and dysfunctional people truly believe that they are ENTITLED to a person’s presence, attention or response.
The Biblical feminine Catholic woman understands that as a woman of virtue, she is NOT to give of herself, time energy or attention to just anyone that demands it.
She is not the public toilet for toxic people to empty their toxic energy on.
Biblical femininity is Mary-like femininity.
When our Lady revealed her pregnancy to Joseph and Joseph doubted her virginity, our Lady did not J.A.D.E – Justify, argue, defend or explain herself, her virginity or her femininity to him.
Through her none response, St Joseph, visited by the Holy Spirit, saw the truth, recognised her virtue and returned to her.
This is what true Biblical femininity is about: never defending, justifying, arguing or explaining your boundaries, standards, virtues or traditional femininity.
If the person persists, then a SHARP REBUKE, as advised by the Bible, is perfectly justifiable.
Practising the above tips can be hard in a world of persistently difficult, dysfunctional and disordered people, but keep working on it.
With time and consistency, it would come naturally to you.
Being Biblically feminine in this way would eliminate a lot of stress, drama, discord and disruption in your life.
It would bring peace and serenity, and it would amplify your value and worth, not just in the eyes of other high-value people, but also in the eyes of the King, our Lord.
Mary, model of femininity, pray for us!
ad Jesum per Mariam