I put together, with lots of help from my husband, this list of essential masculine life skills for boys and men.
In my opinion, a man should have these skills to be an effective protector, provider and leader for his family.
It would shock you the horror stories I have heard of adult man-babies who have no DIY skills whatsoever, no gardening skills, terrible financial management, and no independence either.
Some of these men are in their late 40s too!!
Like, dude, you are in no shape whatsoever to get married. Marriage is serious business and a man who doesn’t take himself seriously enough to acquire these BASIC SKILLS will never take you seriously or take the marriage seriously either. RUN!!
If he grew up with one or both parents and is STILL like these, then it is indicative of BAD PARENTING and an incredibly toxic family system. STEER CLEAR. You do NOT want to be dating or marrying into a family like this.
No matter how wonderful, patient and loving you are, toxic families will never see your value and they will gang up on you and tear you apart – causing friction in your marriage, ruining your relationships with your kids.
Just steer clear. It is not your job to raise men who have been badly-raised by their mothers and even if you tried, it will never work.
If a guy is unable to meet at least 80% of these essential and very BASIC life skills, please do not date or marry him as it is often indicative of severe character flaws within them.
Yes, I understand that some men grew up without a father-figure and may have not had a man to lead them and teach them these things.
However, in today’s age of internet technology and very access to information, there’s no excuse for a man not working on himself and fixing his deficits.
If you have a son, be sure to work through these skills with him as he grows – he would be incredibly grateful to you – trust me!!
St Joseph, model of manhood and masculinity, pray for us!
MORE RESOURCES
GRILL/BARBECUE KITS
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GARDENING TOOLS
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VEGETABLE GARDENING
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VEHICLE MAINTENANCE EQUIPMENT
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FIRST AID
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PERSONAL FINANCE
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DIY & HOME MAINTENANCE
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BUSHCRAFT & SURVIVAL
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HOBBIES FOR MEN
ad Jesum per Mariam
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Traditional Catholic Femininity 🌹🙏🌹 
Hey Paige,
Thank you for this post.
I have been dating a catholic man for 6 months now. I have a few worries but I am not sure if they are legitimate or if I am too picky. Hes from an Italian family.
1- He leaves in an flat own by the family but says to be paying small rent
2- His mom and sister work next door and the mother comes at least once a week to clean and a couple times to cook.
3-His mom irons his shirts
4-I mentionned to him once that I felt he was spending quite a lot of money on useless things (maybe 4 to 5 months into dateing) and he told me that this was none of my business at this point in our relationship
5-He feels jalous of his newborn niece because she gets a lot of attention
6- He turns most of our conversation / texting to him.
7- I have mentionned to him a few worries that I have had and he said I was trying to change him instead of loving him the way he is
I think I want to end this relationship. What do you think?
Thank you,
Joelle-Marie
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Hello Joelle-Marie
Thank you for visiting my website.
I generally say that people tend to start revealing their true colours within 3-6 months for good or for bad, and sadly this is what you are experiencing.
The thing is that the 1st 6 months is still the honeymoon phase and things don’t generally get better from here on out – they get more amplified.
So whatever you are dealing with now, you will be dealing with more of it from now onwards and if you get married, it will worsen.
I don’t understand why many people try to cite cultural differences to explain away a person’s behaviour.
A classic example is the theory that all italian men are mommy’s boys or italian families are close.
This is true for many, but not for all.
I married into an Italian family and my husband’s family are close, but they never overstep boundaries in the way that your partner’s family are sadly doing.
When I met him, my husband was independent too – he was renting his own place, miles away from his family and when his family visit us, they NEVER took over position as wife of the home. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are very careful not to insert themselves into our relationship and marraige.
So healthy italian families DO exist – this guy sadly doesn’t come from one.
They seem enmeshed to a very unhealthy degree and things like this can snowball into bickering, one-upmanship and triangulation between you, his mother and his sister. A horrible mix.
Getting jealous of the attention a newborn baby gets is SO NOT NORMAL AT ALL!! It’s bizarre that instead of a fatherly instinct kicking in, he is getting competitive – this is not someone you want to have children with. I will not even leave him alone with the child.
Getting defensive and twisting the conversations around you when you voice your concerns is a major red flag too.
Like all narcissists, it seems that he expects you to just put up and shut up – this would set a precedent for a cascading avalanche of bad behaviour in the future…….cheating, porn, violence etc…and you will be expected to do what he is grooming you for now – keep quiet.
He is right though that you can’t change him….because he doesn’t want to change and he is letting you know this.
He is literally telling you that he doesn’t care enough about you or even love you enough to address your concerns or have an adult conversation to resolve things.
Finally, your instincts telling you to end the relationship – you do not want to ignore that, believe me.
At the end of the day, this man is enmeshed with his family and practically married to his mother – there’s no space for you or anyone in his life. His mother has raised him this way and you can’t undo the programming.
This doesn’t seem like a relationship at all.
There is no relationship with Sincere, Open, Honest and Solutions-Oriented Communication.
Look at the quality of the communication between you.
More than likely, it is not sincere, it is closed (ie he shuts you down), it is dishonest (lies of omission or commission) and leads to no workable solutions for you both.
This is the pattern you will get for the rest of your life if you remain with him. It will always be his way or the highway on EVERYTHING – money, how you raise the children, housing.
Now, ask yourself: is this what you truly believe you are worth?
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