Thanks to this article, I recently posted on my socials that we ought to disclose to our partner any known fertility issues that we may have BEFORE marriage.
If you know you have a fertility issue before marriage, the right thing an honest person of integrity would do is to mention this to your partner that you hope to spend the rest of your life with.
Marriage needs to be entered into with full and informed consent, and as such, it is a mark of GROSS DECEPTION to enter into a marriage with a person where major issues like fertility problems, any mental health problems, any chronic illness, or significant debt are not disclosed.
It is such a serious matter that should significant problems crop up AFTER the marriage that were not disclosed PRIOR to entering into the marital union, the Church is able to grant annulment due to the deception making the marriage essentially INVALID.
Fertility problems are a major issue and should be disclosed.
A reader of mine got married in her twenties. Unbeknownst to her husband, her husband had major fertility problems that were not disclosed.
After a couple of years without kids, they both went for fertility testing where it was confirmed that she was perfectly healthy and had optimal fertility, but it was he that was the problem.
Despite her misgivings about undergoing fertility treatment, she went through several cycles, but none of them worked and all she had in return for her troubles was stress and cancer.
Yup – fertility treatments carry a risk of cancer!
It also turned out that her husband, who professed to be Catholic, was also incredibly abusive. About 15 years later, she had to escape the marriage……AFTER getting consent from her priest who confirmed to her to due to the deception, the marriage was invalid.
However, she is now in her mid-40s, unmarried and childless….. all because a heartless selfish man chose not to disclose this important issue with her and allow her to make an informed choice on whether or not she wanted to proceed with the marriage.
I also had a guy write to me telling me that his wife is also unable to conceive and has a history of contraceptive use.
Another one has a wife with a history of abortions, also unable to conceive.
one of these guys walked out of the marriage and is seeking an annulment.
All these people feel completely DUPED because they were not allowed to have full and informed consent before entering into the marriage.
Shockingly, it is mainly women who were antagonistic when I mentioned that fertility testing should be done by both couples BEFORE marriage.
I suspect these women have A LOT to hide!
Remember, the purpose of marriage is primarily for procreation, but these women want to use ‘love and emotionality’ to lure and ensnare faithful men who want a family, and these women, Jezebels masquerading as Catholic women, think it is perfectly fine to lie and hide significant fertility problems before marriage. smh.
A woman who is prepared to lie about these matters is capable of much worse.
Guys, and also ladies, you should absolutely request fertility testing on yourself and your partner BEFORE walking down the aisle.
You HAVE A RIGHT to know what you are committing to.
Most people who discover adverse fertility won’t necessarily call off the wedding, but at least they have an idea of the obstacles that they will have to surmount together.
And if significant fertility issues are discovered after marriage that is a major block to having children, you are perfectly within your right to request an annulment from the Church!
Don’t let these sociopaths and Jezebels tell you any different or play on your emotions, using love. They do not love you if they were prepared to lie to you about this. And, please note, withholding information IS lying!
In some countries, couples, prior to their wedding, are required to get STD tests.
Among African or Black communities, testing for blood groups and blood types is also encouraged due to the high genetic predisposition to sickle cell anemia between black couples.
Why should fertility testing be any different?
In fact, articles like THIS actively encourage it!
Burying your head in the sand over an important issue like this shows GROTESQUE IMMATURITY and as such, you are really not responsible enough to be getting married in the first place.
And only a deceptive, manipulative, and truly evil person will find premarital fertility testing a problem.
Now, I am not referring to those who develop fertility problems AFTER marriage due to illness, cancer, or accidents.
I am referring to the diabolical agents of Satan who have known fertility problems BEFORE marriage and choose to withhold this information from their partner.
So Why Do We Need To Find Out And Disclose Our Fertility Status?
- It is THE RIGHT THING TO DO and shows you are a person of integrity. You do not get to play Russian roulette with someone’s life by adopting a wait-and-see approach. This is reckless and shows a profound lack of respect and regard for your partner. This is NOT love; it is manipulation.
- It allows the other person to have FULL & INFORMED CONSENT to marriage and allows them to make the decision whether or not to proceed before the marriage. Trust me, if the person is going to bail due to your fertility status, it is far better and less humiliating for them to do o BEFORE marriage than doing so and abandoning you AFTER marriage.
- Most importantly, it allows both couples to have a clear picture of what lays ahead of them for marriage, any obstacles to fertility and they can start working on that sooner rather than later. As with most issues, early detection and treatment often have better outcomes.
When Is The Best Time To Have Fertility Testing Done?
Now, this is really interesting because I have had a couple of women write to me, telling me they are single but wish to ensure their fertility is optimal and how to go about it.
You do not need to have fertility testing if you are single, but if your periods and cycles are off in any way, by all means, do get that checked out.
However, in general, couples should go for fertility testing after engagement and before the wedding. If you want to get this done during the courtship phase when you are both exclusive to each other, this is also a good idea.
How To Get Fertility Testing Done.
The first place to begin would be your periods.
Observe your cycle for 3-5 months.
Are they regular? Irregular periods are often a sign of PCOS.
Are they of normal duration? Anything over 7 days of active bleeding is of concern.
Are you ovulating at roughly the same time each month?
Women generally ovulate between 12-5 days after the 1st day of their la menstrual cycle.
You can also get really cheap ovulation testing strips on Amazon to monitor this.
All the above can be done whether you are single or not.
Now, if you are engaged to be married or actively courting, you can get further testing.
A good place to start would be home fertility testing for women.
Then, visit your doctor or gynae and ask for hormonal blood tests, thyroid function tests, and also request internal scars to ensure there are no scars, adhesions, fibroids or blockages obstructing the uterus or fallopian tubes.
Armed with this knowledge, you can prevent any underlying fertility problems from getting worse or start some form of natural treatment to optimise your fertility.
For example, Vitex is a natural herb that can help with PCOS and when newly engaged women come to me, asking for fertility advice, I use my experience as a herbalist and encourage them to start by taking Maca powder in the run-up to their wedding.
Maca is not even a herb. It is a superfood with adaptogenic properties, which is to say it brings all your hormones into balance and often resolves minor fertility problems fairly quickly.
It is always a good idea to start with natural remedies to correct fertility issues before moving on to major medical treatment.
If you are thinking of proposing or have proposed and she said Yes, the next thing you should do is get a simple sperm test , which will analyse for sperm count, quality, and motility.
Also, get home fertility testing for men.
Then you can make any necessary lifestyle adjustments to improve your sperm count, such as cutting down on alcohol or smoking.
After the engagement, you should visit your doctor and as for full hormonal blood panels, where your thyroid function, testosterone and other hormones would be tested.
These fertility testing procedures will make you better prepared for marriage.
The premarital checkups not only help detect abnormalities affecting fertility, but can also improve the chances of pregnancy.
It is the right thing to do and you should absolutely request this from your partner before marrying them.
If they are resistant or try to guilt-trip you, they may be hiding something major, and it might be best to call off the relationship and the wedding.
Don’t be deceived and lured into a marriage where there is a serious impediment.
Whatever the results, you can then make an informed choice whether to proceed or not.
You have a right to know what you are committing to and of any impediments that may be part of that marriage.
Our Lady, Seat Of Wisdom, Pray For Us!!
ad Jesum per Mariam
8 thoughts on “The Importance Of Fertility Testing Before Marriage”
What to do when you find a fertility issue after marriage but none of you knew it therefore there was no malice behind it?
Per the Catechism, infertility is not an impediment to marriage. Impotence is.
The primary purpose of marriage is for the spouses to help each other grow in holiness. Raising children together has a nice little tendency to do that, which is one of the many reasons that married couples should always be open to the possibility of children — which means that even infertile couples should not contracept, because our God is bigger than our mere human understanding of fertility. Children are not, however, required.
After all, raising children together isn’t the only way for spouses to help each other grow in holiness. It’s simply the most common. Many other ways exist, and there are many very Sacramental marriages that do not result in children. The most obvious example is two people who don’t get married until they’re in their 50s; that fact makes their marriage no less Sacramental than that of two who get married in their 20s.
sorry, but you are absolutely wrong. the primary purpose of marriage is to have children and be open to life.
it says so right there in the catechism
even if there are fertility issues, the couple can always adopt or foster.
couples in their 50s can also still foster and should, as a demonstration of being open to life.
there are many couples who married in their 40s and 50s, assuming they do not already have previous children, who gave birth to their own kids.
marriage itself was founded as framework to provide security for children. so children are the primary end of marriage and the catechism confirms this.
if a couple do not want children, they should not be getting married.
getting married to grow in holiness is ridiculous; the person would be better off joining religious life or being a consecrated single. marriage ITSELF is to provide a foundation and framework to raise children in.
I agree with the comment above. I thought that the best, most optimal way to measure men’s fertility is through semen analysis. As I read this article, it inspired me to wonder whether I should ask the lady I am courting to do a fertility test. It would seem fair to me to do one myself too. However, as I was thinking about it, I was terrified of the idea of how to obtain that semen specimen. I could not masturbate. I just could not. All that I have read on Internet as an alternative that still falls within the Catholic teaching would be obtaining that semen sample during intercourse with a special “perforated condom” approved by the Church. However, that still only concerns the married men, not the unmarried. I came back to this post and shared those thoughts because I have not yet found a good way to go about it as an unmarried man (semen testing before marriage). It seems that there is no option to directly measure sperm counts, for example, and that all you could do is wait to be married and have sexual intercourse. Blood work and so are fine, and I am not a fertility expert, but they would estimate overall health, not specific men infertility issues.
Does anyone have thoughts about it? I would love an answer to this dilemma for unmarried men!
Like I mentioned to the previous commenter, a good place to start will be to get blood panels to check your hormone levels. And until you get married, optimise your fertility through healthy diet, lifestyle changes (cutting down in booze and cigarettes), keeping the laptop off your lap and having moderate regular exercise.
While I am in complete agreement with the need to disclose fertility with one another and it’s a huge concern for many; wouldn’t the male home test before marriage be…sinful in…method?
Wow!! Excellent point. I still think men can find out their fertility status from blood panels and blood work though. And it is still a good idea to optimise for fertility through nutrition, supplements and lifestyle changes.