Last week, I shared that women should never be giving a guy flowers or other feminine romantic gifts/gestures.
A lot of women like to give guys (their husbands or boyfriends) gifts that they actually want themselves.
It is really a selfish and self-centered way to gift a guy.
Please don’t do this if you want to keep the romance alive.
Some women, especially those who are married, infantilise and emasculate their husbands by treating them like a child, including buying his clothes for him.
Unless you want to create a sick mommy dynamic between you, DO NOT DO THIS EITHER.
No man wants to have sex with his mother.
Keep this up and his sexual desire for you will start to decline as he starts to seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere.
One lady said to me: “but i like to buy him gifts. gift-giving is my love language.”
First of all, buying clothing for a man is hardly a gift he wants to get from his significant other…..no matter what he tells you.
Secondly, we are supposed to love other people in THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE, not ours.
If gift-giving is his language, you can still get him gifts – it does not have to be clothing.
Do you now see what I mean about the selfish, self-centeredness of women who buy gifts for their significant other that they themselves want?
I mean, you can gift your husband/boyfriend nice ties, watches, tie clips, cufflinks, but please, never get him underwear, shirts, trousers, shoes and so on.
Another said to me: “men have no style. I have to upgrade his wardrobe for him and buy his clothes”
Some women truly cannot help mothering, controlling and emasculating their men.
Have we become so masculinised and controlling that we have lost every ounce of our femininity and natural feminine influence??
Even if you were actually not very smart enough to marry a guy with decent dress sense…..or you married him with a view to changing him afterwards (like what a lot of women do 🙄 super controlling and manipulative, btw!) you STILL do not have to actually buy his clothes!
There are several other gifts you can give to a husband or boyfriend, while still remaining in your feminine energy.
In the first few years of our marriage, when my older sister would shop Christmas or birthday gifts for my husband, she would ask me what I think he likes.
At the time, I wanted him to dress a bit smarter and wear more tailored shirts.
So I would tell her “oh, I think he’d like a tailored shirt” sometimes, I’d even give her a list of smart brands that she can choose from.
It is okay for a sister/brother, uncle/aunt or even mother/father-in-law to buy clothes for your significant other in this way.
There is a family connection, not a romantic connection between him and them.
You make suggestions to them on what clothing to buy for your significant other, but do not actually buy the gifts yourself.
Here is another tactic I used to upgrade my husband’s wardrobe.
On other occasions, I would pwetty-pwetty-please-flutter-my-eyelashes at my husband to come shopping with me cos I really wanted to get ‘a new dress for him’
Then, I’d deliberately choose a store that sells both men’s and women’s clothing.
After trying on and prancing around in several dresses, I would ask him to choose the one he likes best on me, and then I’d go “thank you so much, honey. Now let’s do you!”
And then I’d take him over to the men’s section, me leaning on his arm, and I would casually steer him through to the section of the type of clothes I would like him to wear.
I’d sweetly say something like “Do you want to try this one, babe? I’m sure you’d look sexy/smart/muscular in this one”
And when he does try it on, I’d be over the top with my compliments “gasp! who is this handsome fella?! I shouldn’t talk to you cos my husband will be here any moment!”
Of course, he’d always buy the clothing or shoes that i gushed over and we’d return home a set of new items, shirts, trousers, shoes etc
And he paid for my dress too!!
Obviously, you can modify these wordings to suit the dynamic you have with your partner.
I am generally quite girly and flirty with my husband…..and I would let you in on a secret……men love it when we do the baby voice on them.
It makes us appear more feminine and vulnerable, and makes them instinctively want to be super protective of us, and give in to our whims and desires.
3-4 months later, I would repeat the above shopping process with my husband.
Within about 1-2 years, I’d completely revamped his entire wardrobe, all without buying it for him or making him feel emasculated or foolish that his style was not to my taste.
And he never really noticed either.
If I simply went out and bought these items for him, he’d feel inadequate & his male pride will be wounded.
How can I then expect him to adequately lead, protect and provide when his masculinity has been dented?!
He’d also feel henpecked and like a child, which automatically makes you his mother and guess what, men do not want to be intimate with their mothers.
You MUST learn to use your feminine energy properly.
Going out and buying clothes directly for him is a direct masculine move.
Influence him to choose the items and pay for them himself.
Don’t pay for the clothing he chooses – you are interfering with his Provider energy.
When people feel like a choice they made was their own idea, they tend to stick to the new changes far longer than if the choice/decision was made by someone else.
Learn to use your feminine energy.
Your femininity should always be nurturing his masculine energy.
Above, I mentioned how when we use our baby voice on our husbands/boyfriends, it makes them feel more masculine and they instinctively want to protect us and give in to what we want.
This is just one way we can influence our husbands/boyfriends.
When you are feminine, he becomes more masculine.
Just don’t use baby voice all the time; it will come across as fake or manipulative.
Our Lady, model of femininity and womanhood, pray for us
ad Jesum per Mariam