In the past few days, the internet and social media has been awash with news of some woman, titled Ballerina Farms who had an interview which was published in the Times HERE. Sadly, the article is behind a paywall.  So after much internet searching, I found a copy of the article which you can read for free HERE.

First of all, it is bizarre how Hannah Neeleman aka Ballerina Farms is referred to as a trad wife, when she is simply a homeschooling SAHm of multiple children, who happens to live on a farm and does pretty much all the home and farm management herself.

“But, Paige, isn’t that what being a trad wife entails?”

Well, not exactly.

As a trad wife myself, who has been a trad wife long before it became a trend, it really gets my goat to see social media influencers brand themselves as trad wives simply because they are SAHM, housewives, living in some sort of rural cosplay fantasy, having several children, homeschooling, and/or being financially dependent on their husbands.

While these are elements of what a trad life may look like, it isn’t truly what a trad life is about, especially when you are also using your so-called trad marriage/family lifestyle as a marketing and publicity tool.

I honestly understand why the trad life and trad wife trend has taken off.  Women got tired of the independent-woman boss-babe era and they now just want to relax in their femininity, and have a man take care of them, provide for them and lead them and their households.  And there is nothing wrong with this – it is after all the God-given nature of women to desire a man who is a leader, protector and provider.

The problem is that many abusive, misogynistic, and controlling men have weaponised this desire in women as they dangle the trad life carrot before hopeful women, using it as bait to lure trusting women into a trap of domestic slavery, servitude, and a caged life. And none of this constitutes a truly trad life.

The trad lifestyle, which was originally a good concept of traditional marriage to strengthen marriages and families, and to protect women and children,  has been hijacked by evil people who have now made it synonymous with abuse and control of women…….so much so that the terms “trad life” or “trad wife” have become scandalised.

Evil likes to warp and pervert good and domestic slavery, indentured servitude, marital rape, financial abuse, and coercive control have been repackaged by sociopaths as “the trad life”. But it is just a pervesion of traditional marriage, just like red pill ideology is a perversion of true masculinity and cohabitation is a perversion of marriage.

The devil perverts and warps the good, in order to lead people away from good things by presenting a horrific, twisted and warped version of that good thing……offering them fools gold instead of real good.

Being a trad wife is an extremely dangerous place to be because, if you choose the  wrong person, and have no solid Christian and Biblical underpinnings, you will find yourself preyed on, caged and locked into an abusive, controlling, and even deadly union, while still gaslighting yourself that it is a trad marriage.

Ballerina Farms aka Hannah Neeleman is not a trad wife – she is a hostage, trapped in modern-day slavery, coercive control and servitude.

On the surface, she seems to live a perfect life.  She has a provider husband, lives on a farm, cooks from scratch, grows her garden, bakes sourdough, births and homeschools all their 8 children.  It sounds so idyllic and lovely, doesn’t it?

The issue that most people, especially SANE Conservative trad women like myself, have with the Ballerina Farms fiasco isn’t the scenario depicted in the above paragraph. It is the horrific red flags underpinning this false image.

Most people don’t have an issue with her lifestyle of living on a farm or having so many children, but with the utter abuse, selfishness and control that her husband displays.

Let’s examine some of the red flags.

RED FLAG 1

They are Mormons. And right off the bat, we know that their interpretation of marriage and trad life is ALREADY WARPED because it is not built on solid Christian and Biblical foundations.

Mormons are not Christians; they are a cult and here are some of the horrific things that they believe in, while presenting a false facade of Christianity. And when the root is bad, the tree will be rotten.

 

RED FLAG 2

This relates to the extent of the efforts he went through to ensure he captured her, including stalking her and robbing her of her dream of being a Juilliard ballerina, only to lock her away on a remote farm, isolated from most people, while he conditions and grooms her to be a baby making factory without letting her get any help as she continues to exhaust herself for his dream. And I promise you – this was his dream.

The trad lifestyle and having a trad wife who is essentially a bang maid and slave is the sexual fantasy of many misogynistic, domineering men – it is the idea of taking a beautiful and talented girl, hiding her away from the rest of world, stripping her completely of her identity and profiting off of her free subservience and free domestic labour, while making her work to the point where she is unable to get out of bed for a week!!

It is using a woman as an object – as private property and control.
And he is a billionaire who simply bought his sexual fantasy. She is no different to actual slaves when slavery was still a thing in America

This is why many men love the idea of having a trad wife – they absolutely love the idea of owning their own private property, a bang maid slave that they can imprison, control and dominate.

Now some people are saying “Well, she chose that life.  She chose to marry him” and that she doesn’t deserve sympathy because she chose to marry rich.  These people are clearly illiterate in the grooming tactics of abuse and how abuse can be very slow and insidious.

However, I would say though, that if she had read my EARLY DATING RED FLAGS article during the early stages of him pursuing her, she would have picked up on his love bombing and had the chance to dip out before she got entrapped.

 

RED FLAG 3

Her husband is a son of a billionaire and owns an entire airline, and yet wouldn’t even hire help to assist her with the children, housework or farm work or allow her to have some rest, even for a day, from the babies she carried for him.  He wouldn’t even let her have an epidural, amongst a myriad of other abuses.

My husband was horrified to read this part of her story.  I mean, we are not even millionaires, but during our pregnancies….in the last trimesters especially, he hired a cleaner and a gardener to come in 1-2 a week to help out, when he was too busy with work.  Even now, he regularly lets me sleep in on the weekends till midday, while he takes care of the kids and house work.

Ballerina Farms husband is a billionaire and it is well within his power to make his wife’s life easier for her, but he chooses not to because he is a sadistic, psychotic narcissistic. All she wanted for her birthday was a trip to Greece and yet he gave her an ugly egg apron.

This is why I keep telling women – the way to find a trad provider husband isn’t necessarily looking for a rich man, but a generous man.  What is the point in marrying a billionaire if he refuses to spoil you and spend money on you. Whether you are trapped in the gilded cage of a mansion, or trapped in a small apartment, abusive, controlling men still want to cage you.

 

RED FLAG 4

The farm is probably called Ballerina Farm not because it is owned by a ballerina, but because the husband is farming HER. She, the ballerina who had dreams of dancing, is now the caged livestock. It’s almost like he is taunting her as he trapped her there, makes her do farm work and uses her for breeding.  How sadistic and sad.

And the part where it said that she wanted to make the barn her dance studio, but he wouldn’t let her and instead he got it turned into a schoolhouse……literally squashing out her hopes of dancing, even as a hobby.

This man is like a like a villain from a book level of evil.

I play piano and have been playing since I was a child. I couldn’t ever imagine my husband telling me that I could no longer have my piano.  Or that I could no longer go sing and perform with my local amateur opera group.  He knows that piano, singing classical music and opera are very important to me.  Although, I have no aspirations to be a concert pianist or world renown opera singer, as my family and children now take priority, these things are still very much a part of me and I enjoy indulging in them as part time hobbies.  My husband would never dream of taking these away from me.  

This is the difference between a trad husband and an abusive husband.

I think I also read that Ballerina Farms’ husband wouldn’t let her have her own car or something?
SMH.  My non-billionaire husband bought me my own car and he continues to pay for the car expenses till today.  He got me my dream car as a birthday gift and so that I can have some mobility and independence in driving around, without having to rely on him all the time or use his car.
But Mr Billionaire to a ballerina refuses to let her have her own car?  What a monster!!

 

RED FLAG 5

Now, she has apparently released a statement in a video, trying to defend her husband’s behaviour. However, anyone with two brain cells can see that she was coerced into doing so.  Even her smile in the video is clearly. forced. It is so obvious to see that she is tired and really needs rest…….rest that her husband sadistically denies her.

Of course, she isn’t going to say “Yup.  You all are right.  My husband is an abuser”. She knows she would get in trouble with him if she doesn’t defend him. Many victims of abuse will defend their oppressor, partly out of fear of the consequences if they don’t and partly because they themselves are so embroiled in Stockholm Syndrome and deep in the fog of abuse, having been gaslit and groomed for so long that they can no longer recognise what is normal or safe anymore.  Being isolated from anyone who can provide a healthy frame of reference amplifies this.  This is why abusers like to isolate their victims from friends, family or a support system – which is precisely what Mr Billionaire did to her.

Abusers groom you and over time, not only will you defend them, but you will also see their abuse, grooming and coercive control as a a good thing or in your best interests. This is why it can get extremely dangerous because at this point – the abuser can physically abuse you, harm you or even kill you and you will not see it coming or you will truly believe that you deserve this.

She most likely feels like she has no choice but to defend him because she feels trapped.

Abuse in itself is terrifying and when you are at the mercy of a very wealthy man, who is capable of destroying you, it is a nightmare to even consider leaving.  You just succumb to your inevitable fate

The ones that have left are contemplating suicide. Rich men make it impossible for you to leave, chances are you’ll never see your kids . All that constant manipulation makes it hard for them to leave

 

As you can see, nothing about the Ballerina Farms situation is trad or Biblical.

The Ballerina Farms fiasco is so gross and it is very concerning how many so people do not see it as financial abuse, cocercive control and domestic abuse because of how ingrained this warped “tradwife” ideal is in conservative cultures and Christian communities.

The Ballerina Farms situation is precisely why we really need to educate women about coercive control and emotional abuse, and also what a truly trad Biblical Christian marriage should look like.

A lot of sociopaths and abusive narcissistic misogynists infiltrate trad Christian communities because they want power and control over women. So you need to be really careful as a trad Catholic woman who aspires to be a trad wife – you are the prize, but you will be targeted by these predator who will strip and abuse you. 

Part of my mission for TCF, as a trad wife myself, is to educate women on recognising grooming and abuse, so that they avoid these abusive misogynistic men who wish to prey on and entrap women into indentured servitude and abuse, while gaslighting them that it is a trad life. 

Please know that if you are a so-called Christian husband & you think your wife suffering & slaving away means she’s a good trad wife, you are not a Christian or trad. 

Fr Ripperger has repeatedly said that God will bring severe justice & hold accountable every man that lets his wife suffer. 

You are supposed to love your wife as Christ loves the church, which means you sacrifice your own wants and pleasures for her welfare or at the very least ensuring she is loved, cared for – Ephesians 5 – not working her to the bone like a mule

And if you are a wife who thinks that being a trad Christian wife entails enduring abuse and mistreatment from your husband, living a life of slavery, control and indentured servitude, I promise you – it is not.

Be safe, wise and discerning cos the wolves in sheep clothing are among us in trad and catholic communities.

Before dating and throughout the dating process, read my EARLY DATING RED FLAGS article as you continually scan him for red flags and virtue.  Also, see my article on MEN WHO PREY ON CATHOLIC WOMEN.

If you want to know what a trad husband looks like, see this video.  Do not date or marry him if he does not fit this Biblical standard.

And if you want to know what being a trad wife looks like, see this video.

And remember, the goal isn’t to marry a rich man; it is to marry a GENEROUS & VIRTUOUS man

Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us 

 

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 ad Jesum per Mariam

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