This is the incoming top search to my website.
I am so disgusted that this is even a thing!
On a forum, a “Catholic” man mentioned that he and many “Catholic” men prefer to go after traditional Catholic women because they are “traditional Catholic” pushovers.
He is not the first “Catholic” man that I have seen express this sentiment.
If this isn’t a BIG FAT RED FLAG OF A PREDATOR, I honestly don’t know what is.
The Traditional movement, the Catholic community and in particular, the traditional Catholic community is rife with predators such as these.
It makes total sense. Predators go where their prey is.
There are many traditional Catholic pages and social media platforms that focus entirely on the “be nice, docile, submissive etc” aspect of traditional Catholic femininity.
They share pretty, feminine pictures of lovely women doing lovely things and there is little to no mention on the ugly side of humanity and how to practically and safely navigate these.
While it is a nice and lovely caricature of traditional Catholic femininity, it is NOT realistic and is as much a fantasy and illusion as the movies.
I follow some of these platforms and while I respect their work, for the most part, many of them promote the Stepford Wife illusion, a 1950s-esque bubble, a dangerous and foolish caricature of reality.
It is no wonder then that many women who get caught up entirely in this illusion find themselves prey to predatory men and they either fall into sin or get entangled in something that is life-threatening.
Life is not all cupcakes, pretty aprons and sunshine, not for the real traditional Catholics and definitely not even for the real housewives of the 1950s era.
The traditional, conservative Catholic life is A LOT of hard work and sacrifice.
This is part of the reason why my aim for TCF is to showcase a realistic view of traditional Catholic femininity from all angles – the good, bad and the ugly – and how to navigate today’s world whilst still living out our vocations as Traditional Catholic Feminine women in our various states of life.
Of course, some people do not like it.
They get upset when I discuss mental health issues, issues on abuse, issues on the Leftist depravity in society today. They want to live in La-La Land.
They do not understand that although we may be living as Traditional Catholic feminine women, we are doing so in a very ugly, hateful and depraved world.
The world that many of us have to interact with regularly, including our children, and as such, we need to develop the necessary spiritual defences, sound judgement and discernment.
A lack of knowledge of this world is both foolish and dangerous.
A passage in the Bible says: My people perish for lack of knowledge. LITERALLY!
Some people do not want authentic traditional Catholic femininity.
They have escapist tendencies, and they want to escape into a fluffy bubble of 1950s housewife, poodle-skirt wearing era.
This form of escapism is just as dangerous and deadly as other forms of escapism like alcohol, drug use, gambling and excessive gaming.
And as with all forms of escapism, they come to a rude awakening and if not careful, a brutal end.
This kind of naivete can LITERALLY get you killed. LITERALLY.
One such woman got herself into delusional traditional femininity and ended up pregnant by her very controlling boyfriend, who abandoned her and the baby.
She thought she was simply being a good and submissive traditional feminine woman by giving in to his sexual demands. She wasn’t. She was violating God’s commandments on chastity and she was also placing a man above God.
When it comes to traditional Catholic femininity, a balance is needed.
Extremes of either end of the spectrum are delusional and dangerous.
And this is why I felt so honoured to receive this message from a traditional priest.
The Bible tells us
“Behold. I send you out as sheep among wolves” – we are advised here to be vigilant.
“By their fruits, you shall know them. Test every spirit” – we are advised here to be discerning and watch to see that a person’s character and behaviour matches their words.
Yes, being a woman of virtue and value makes you highly prized, but also makes you a prime suspect for predators.
Pretty, shiny diamonds and precious rubies will ALWAYS attract thieves.
Most people are familiar with the currently ongoing Chris and Shanann Watts case.
Cliff notes version: dude marries good Christian woman. There have been problems going on in their marriage, but like the dutiful wife that Shanann is, she does not say anything to anyone outside of their marriage and tries to carry on as normal on social media.
Chris has affairs and then decides that rather than filing for divorce, he would simply erase his entire family….by murdering them.
After he kills his pregnant wife, who it was reported was praying as he killed her, his toddler daughter walks in him doing the deed and he kills his own children too.
What were the warning signs? Why didn’t Shanann leave?
I have always maintained that chronic cheating IS abuse as it displays a lack of empathy, lack of remorse and a lack of conscience. A person like this is VERY dangerous as they are capable of anything.
This case came as a shock to many people as there was apparently no history of physical violence from Chris towards his wife.
As a result, Shanann did not believe she was in danger. She most likely also believed, like many other Catholic women do, that she should stick by her man, even if chronic cheating is involved.
This guy did not wake up suddenly one day and turn into this monster – he has always been that way and although he may not have been physically abusive to Shanann, there would have been verbal abuse, emotional abuse and of course, the chronic infidelity.
What makes him even more dangerous is that not only did he target Shanann for her Christian values and knew she would never divorce him, unless he was brutally beating her, but in order to maintain his public facade of the “good Christian guy”, in his mind, it was better for him to be a widower than a divorcee.
A beating would’ve left marks and scars aka evidence – Chris was not going to have that. He has his false public image of being a “good Christian guy” to maintain.
A divorce was also out of the question for him because again, he had his false public image of being a “good Christian guy” to maintain.
So instead, he chose to murder his entire family.
However, even though he was devious enough not to have been physically violent towards Shanann, other forms of abuse would have been present.
Every form of abuse from chronic cheating to emotional abuse, financial control, verbal abuse etc shows a lack of empathy, a lack of remorse and a lack of conscience.
These traits are found in those with Cluster B Personality disorders.
These type of people DO NOT change. Ever. It is ingrained in their character and their personality.
“But we can pray for them. God can heal them”
Hardly. A personality disorder is ingrained in a person’s character. Prayers cannot change them any more than prayers can make them grow 2 feet overnight or make them change ethnic races.
Praying that God changes a person that He has shown you to be dangerous and destructive is a form of magical and delusional thinking. Thou shalt not tempt the Lord, thy God.
“But what about in sickness and health? You can’t divorce a person for mental illness”
Sigh. Personality disorders are not mental illnesses.
Mental illness can be treated and managed with both therapy and medication.
These do not work on people with Personality Disorders; medication does not work on them and therapy makes them worse and more abusive.
Personality disorders are described as fixed, persistent and pervasive – they cannot be fixed. Period.
Lumping Personality Disorders in the same category with mental illness is harmful, invalidating and insulting to real people who are dealing with real mental health issues.
“But divorce is not in the Church’s teaching”
True. Divorce is not Catholic teaching, but leaving a dangerous and destructive spouse when your life might be in danger does not equate to divorce, and in extenuating circumstances, an annulment is granted.
For example, an annulment can be granted when the marriage was entered into on false pretences.
Sociopaths and other narcisissists don’t marry for love; they marry to use and abuse, and they often marry under false pretences. See my article on DIVORCE
It is amazing how some “Catholics” are very quick to condemn predatory and abusive priests, calling for them to be defrocked, but at the same time, encouraging people to remain with dangerous and destructive spouses.
They argue that the victim spouse should remain with an abusive spouse.
Reword that sentence, but swap spouse with priest.
Do you now see how ridiculous that sounds?!
So, yes it DOES seem to be a thing for predators to target women with Christian and Catholic values as these women become easy and willing victims, who are far more likely to JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend and Explain) away any form of abuse or disrespect, and also far more likely to remain with a dangerous and destructive spouse.
The Catholic Church DOES NOT enable abuse, domestic violence or spousal mistreatment or encourage at-risk spouses to remain in harmful or deadly circumstances.
Chronic porn addicts, cheaters and adulterers display severe lack of empathy, lack of remorse and a lack of conscience and they will do anything to maintain their facade, even to the point of murdering their entire families.
A person who discovers their significant other is cheating or having an affair should consult with a traditional priest and then an individual psychotherapist and just walk away. Your life isn’t worth it.
Many abusive people who target good people would gaslight their victims into believing that if they only just tried a bit more, supported the abuser a bit more, be more tolerant/charitable/Christian, then they would change.
No, they won’t and they don’t want to, but they want you to believe that they would change so you can continue pouring your energy, sanity etc into the abuser while the abuser continues to abuse and gaslight you.
In fact, if anyone ever tells you to be supportive of toxic or abusive behaviour by using the words “be more charitable or tolerant” etc…BLOCK THEM AT ONCE!!
They have outed themselves as both toxic, abusive and dangerous.
What if the abusive, cheating, addict or sociopathic promises to change?
You STILL move out! Talk is not just cheap; talk is free.
The only thing you can trust is actual changed behaviour, not promise or talk of changed behaviour.
If their words and actions do not line up, you are dealing with an abuser.
You move out for your own safety and sanity, and to allow the abuser make good on their promise.
If they are NOT toxic, abusive or a Cluster B, losing you would be the rock bottom that will motivate them to change.
Changed behaviour is shown by consistent, appropriate behaviour over an appropriate period of time.
Only then can you reconsider moving back into the marital home.
If they are toxic, abusive or a Cluster B, they will not be able to change or maintain the change over an appropriate period of time.
In which case, you have your answer – they just don’t care – and you have kept both yourself and your children safe.
Personality disorders are described as Fixed, Pervasive and Persistent – they are incapable of change; they are unwilling to change and they enjoy their disorder.
Some women express concern that if they leave an abusive marriage, they can’t get a divorce or be with another man.
To be honest, the desire to keep oneself and one’s children SAFE & ALIVE should far outweigh the carnal desire to be with another man!
Abusers and toxic people thrive on secrecy and your silence.
They are counting on you being quiet or ashamed about what you are going through, and not saying anything to anyone outside of the family, the friendship or the relationship.
They want to keep you silent.
Please, don’t be like Shanann Watts!!!
THE SHAME IS THE ABUSER’S TO BEAR, NOT YOURS TO CARRY!
So, if you or a loved one is in a toxic or abusive situation, relationship, friendship, family situation, speak out!!
Tell someone that you trust about it.
Anyone that blames you, tries to shame you, invalidates you and so on should be ignored. They do not mean well for you.
Keep it moving and find someone that you can confide in.
Even if you are not asking them to intervene or help, just say SAY SOMETHING TO SOMEONE!
To those who are yet unmarried, for your sake and the sake of your future children, VET & DISCERN VERY WELL the person that you are dating!
So, what then does a godly man look like? He looks like THIS.
WHY DOES HE DO THAT? is ideal for those who are married.
Also, read my RED FLAGS article, which is very helpful whether you are married, dating or single.
You are all in my prayers!!
Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us.
ad Jesum per Mariam