I know that a post on homemaking and money management has been long overdue on this blog.
So now is as good a time as any for me to write this post, which was inspired by a discussion held in the TCF Facebook group earlier this week.
Should a husband be giving his wife an allowance?
My short answer is YES! Yes, the husband should be giving his wife an allowance.
In a traditional and Biblical marriage, the husband has headship over his wife and his family.
This is the natural order of things, as established by God.
The main directive given by God to man in marriage is to protect and provide for his spouse and family. This then means that the man should be the main breadwinner, the one providing the sole income or at least, the larger proportion of the family’s total income.
Studies done by scientists and psychologists have shown that in marriage, it is better for the man to be the main breadwinner in order to ensure harmonious domestic relations, the longevity of the marriage and longterm happiness of the couple.
If the wife is the sole breadwinner or earns much more than her husband does, there is a greater than average chance this would make him feel emasculated, and she would feel resentful and unable to respect him. These perfectly natural reactions are indicators that the natural order of things, as God ordained, is being reversed. Harmony and cooperation are restored in homes and marriages where the natural order is followed and traditional gender roles are modelled.
Men who feel emasculated due to their spouse having a higher income are also more likely to distance themselves from their wives and many of them resort to porn or adultery in order to regain some sense of self-worth.
This is why I do not recommend that a man courts and marries a woman who is of a higher status than him. See more HERE.
Given the above observations, it makes complete sense that the husband, being the main breadwinner, provides the wife with an allowance.
If the wife is a SAHM, then he should definitely be giving her an allowance.
Now, I do not think the allowance is the same as the family budget where he gives her money to meet the family’s financial obligations of paying the bills, buying groceries and the like.
I believe that the allowance given to her should be an amount separate from the family budget. The allowance is for her own personal spending use…….especially if she is a SAHM with no income.
A SAHM mom should not be left with no access to money.
Think of the family as a small company.
In fact, the running and management of the home CAN indeed be likened to running a small company.
Under God’s structure for the family, God has headship over the husband. The husband has headship over his wife and children, and the wife has headship over the children. There is clearly a structure and chain of command in effect and for marriages to thrive and flourish, they should follow this structure that has been put into place by God.
Using the small company analogy, the husband can be viewed as the President of his family and his wife, as the Vice-President.
Through going to work and providing her with a budget, he is able to entrust the day-to-day running of the home and family to her hands, giving him more time to focus his mental and physical energies on work and career. This is an ideal partnership
The allowance that the husband gives his wife is sorta like her own income or a token of appreciation, for running and managing his little empire i.e. the family.
Giving the wife an allowance is an expression of love that also reinforces the traditional structure of a marriage.
This allowance can be given on a weekly, fortnightly or monthly basis.
The frequency and amount of the allowance would depend on the couple’s overall financial position and as such, should be agreed upon by both parties.
Regardless of the income level of the husband, this practice of a husband giving his wife an allowance can and should be done.
Sure, in this day and age, some people may see this as an outdated practice, but I believe that it is a beautiful, loving gesture that can positively highlight the traditional gender roles in marriage.
This act of leadership and dominance also makes the wife much more likely to submit to her husband.
It can also help develop a deeper bond between the couple and have a strengthening effect on the family and marital ties.
For the men out there who complain about the feminist, stubborn and aggressive mindset of today’s women, why not stand up, and assert your leadership and dominance in little ways like this and you will be surprised at how much respect your wife would have for you. A woman is more likely to submit to a man she respects and she would never respect a man who is not able to lead financially by being the main breadwinner of the home.
It’s really so simple, guys. You want respect and submissiveness? Lead!
Now, what say you, ladies?
Do you receive an allowance from your husband?
Does he give you a separate allowance or does he combine it with the family budget?
Below are some great books on budgeting and money management that both married and single folks will find immensely useful. Hope you enjoy.
ad Jesum per Mariam