So, Valentine’s Day is nigh and a reader emailed me saying,
“What are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day and exchanging gifts? In modern times, it is customary to give the guy a gift.”
Valentine’s Day is not just the day of love, but it is also prime season for wooing.
This means that even if a guy is not used to gifting romantic tokens to his beloved, on this day, out of all the days in the year, is when he MUST give his significant other a romantic token.
And this applies to those who are courting and those who are married.
The man woos the woman.
Women do not woo men – period!
The man does not need to be so extravagant in gift-giving.
A romantic Valentine’s day gift can be a single red rose, or a dozen red roses, a Valentine’s Day card (for those newly courting), a box of chocolates, dinner out, jewellery, a weekend trip away for those who are married and so on, as the man can afford.
The price, size or quantity is not the main focus.
The main focus is that he DOES get you something romantic.
Even though I always receive Valentine’s Day gifts from my husband and prior to getting married, from the gentlemen who courted, I have never EVER given a guy that gift for Valentine’s Day.
The one time I got my husband a card for Valentine’s Day – just a simple card – he looked at me like I’d grown two heads!
Now, of course, AFTER Valentine’s Day, I might do something sweet and little for him like cooking his favourite meal, dressing extra nice and so on.
Unless it is his birthday, Christmas or anniversary, DO NOT give your significant other a gift for Valentine’s Day.
He is supposed to be wooing you, so let him!
Feminine energy is receptive; it is supposed to receive.
Masculine energy is projective; it is supposed to give.
God even designed your sexual organs to remind you of that
To be in your feminine energy, Biblically, learn to be comfortable with receiving.
If you become so controlling that you have to reciprocate everything your guy does for you, then you give him no impetus to give and thus no impetus to be a man. You emasculate him.
So the next time, you feel obliged to respond in kind to a Valentine’s Day gift, look down between your legs, and unless you have a penis, stop yourself! Be a woman.
If your significant other doesn’t like it, well, then what he wants is a man – not a woman.
You still be a woman.
If he wishes to argue about it in any way and you are not married to him, drop him!
You can find better.
If you wish to live by modern-day standards of dating, marriage or male-female relationships, then by all means, give him a gift.
While you’re at it, feed him chocolate, serenade him from the rooftop……
If you want to live by the traditional way, then simply be in your feminine energy.
At the very most, get him a simple, plain, non-gushy Valentine’s Day card.
Don’t get a card that is what YOU would like to receive.
Get something very plain, very simple and to the point, and very utilitarian – these are all masculine aesthetics.
You can also send him a loving, sweet Valentine’s Day text message. Again, keep it short and sweet.
Leave the gushy, rambly poetry to him – that’s his job.
You can buy or bake him a lovely cake. This is an acceptably feminine way to treat him to something.
Whatever you do, DO NOT give him flowers or chocolate – this is what THE MAN does.
Wait for him to send a Valentine’s Day greeting before you reciprocate or send him the text.
He is the man.
He is supposed to lead…..even during courtship and wooing…..and you, as a woman, are supposed to graciously receive.
If he is taking you out, then dress really nice, smell amazing and add a touch of red ie lipstick, bag or shoes.
Don’t wear a red dress when going out on Valentine’s Day as everyone else will be in red or black.
So if you wish to stand out, then wear a dress in plum, green, navy or even skin-tone colour.
If you are married, then you can surprise him with pretty, new underwear for when you two get some private time after the kids have gone to bed, but definitely no gift.
When in doubt, just think “Would our Lady get a Valentine’s Day gift from St. Joseph and then rush to reciprocate? Or would she simply quietly and graciously receive?”
I also recommend that you read:
TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES AND GIFT-GIVING
Our Lady and St. Joseph, models of perfect marital love, pray for us!
ad Jesum per Mariam