I woke up this morning to find THIS ARTICLE by the British Royal Family circulating social media.
The article stipulates general guidelines for interacting with The Royal Family, Clarence House and Kensington Palace social media channels.
Traditional Catholic Femininity now entering its 2nd year has always implemented these same guidelines that major global establishments like the Royal Family are now implementing.
I have always reserved the right to refuse to publish certain comments on my blog, the right to delete certain comments left on my social media accounts and to ban or block people as I see fit.
Of course, I faced backlash for this, which is evidence of how thoroughly toxic and entitled society, in general, has become.
Some people were furious that I banned them, blocked them, deleted their comments, refused to engage in their baiting and antagonistic prodding, and so on.
Isn’t that crazy?! That people think they are entitled to come into your digital space and spew bile.
Their argument is that websites and social media are made public.
Yes, it is true that you can visit any website or social media page, just like you can visit any physical address.
And while you are welcome to visit a person’s home address, acting in an unwelcoming manner would have you booted out and the same rule applies to a person’s digital address ie their website and social media.
You wouldn’t have someone come to your home address and allow them to start brandishing knives or attacking you for the way you cook your pasta, would you?
Why would anyone think that they can do the same on your website and social media?
You are entitled to have boundaries as to who you allow into your physical space, as well as your digital space.
One thing that narcissists, predators and dysfunctional people like to do is erode your boundaries and groom you into believing that you do not have any rights, including rights to having boundaries, right to privacy and rights to who you choose to engage with.
When you implement these boundaries in your life and your social media, predatory and evil people will gaslight you in several ways.
“You just can’t handle criticism.”
I have heard this one often. What they mean is that they are angry that you refuse to be insulted, torn down and attacked by them.
A person who truly has any form of constructive criticism for you would address you personally, IN PRIVATE, and not in a public sphere.
So when you hear this statement, don’t engage anymore. Just block them.
“You are dictating” OR “You are judgemental”
This is usually said by people who CHOOSE to come to your own social media and then attack you for having your own opinions on your own page. Isn’t that crazy?!
I told you – these people are nutsos.
It is not like you went on their page and then start expressing contrary opinions there or judging them.
They came on to YOUR OWN PAGE and then attack you for having opinions that are simply different to theirs. They are insane. Just block or ban them.
Then, there are also people like THESE, THESE, and THESE
Some will twist and reframe your words to accuse of saying something you never said OR accuse you of having intentions behind something you say that you do not have.
For example, you may something like
“It is preferable for young children to have their mothers at home with them, especially in a two-parent household.”
And you get attacked with asinine comments like “you are being so hateful to mothers who have to work”
And then you are almost forced into defending yourself, like ….”what in the world?! I never said or meant that”
Before you know it, you are drawn into endless circular debates that leave you drained and exhausted at the end.
You see what is happening there?
I’m really starting to believe that these sort of people have to be under some sort of demonic influence and they feed off your energy and reactions, changing your mood from being in a state of grace to being upset, drained and annoyed.
This is how the devil, through his mini influencers, get you to lose your state of grace.
If you feel inclined to respond, keep it short, sweet, never JADE and use the broken record technique.
Eg “I never said that.”
Now, of course the toxic person will continue to bait and provoke you into an argument or to get you to defend yourself, so once again you repeat very calmly: “I never said that.”
If they continue, don’t repeat yourself, just sever contact, walk away, block or delete.
Evil likes to breed and spread chaos, so don’t let them use you as their pawn.
To worsen things, when you are always in a state of chaos, exhaustion and defensiveness, it pumps cortisol (stress hormone) and adrenaline (fight or flight response) into your system, which later leads to depression, anxiety, heart diseases, cancer and even sudden premature death.
As a side note, if you notice that when you are around a certain person, whoever that person may be, and you leave your interactions with that person feeling drained, angry, tense or any of the negative emotions, you are in the presence of a toxic, vampiric person who is feeding of your positive energy and dumping their negative energy on you.
GET AWAY FROM THEM AND AVOID THEM COMPLETELY!!
For your own safety, sanity, and reputation, just delete, ban or block all these types of people – whether they are Catholic or not; family or not.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ENGAGE WITH PEOPLE LIKE THESE.
These people are trolls and psychological studies have shown links between trolls and psychopathy.
Everyone is entitled to free speech, but a normal healthy person would exercise their right to free speech within their own domains, homes, websites, social media or spheres or influences.
A sociopath, dangerous and destructive person would enforce their so-called free speech, which is generally antagonistic, destructive and contrarian, on another person’s domain, home, website, social media or sphere of influence.
You see the difference?
Just because you have a website or social media does not mean you have to take any form of abuse or boundary violation from anyone, including friends or family members.
Femininity entails having standards, discernment, personal values and boundaries.
It DOES NOT entail allowing yourself to be a doormat or public toilet for every toxic, dysfunctional person to vomit their bile into. It does not entail being a free-for-all.
A woman of virtue and value doesn’t let everyone have access to her, her time, her energy or her space.
Your kindness, charity, tolerance and gentleness does not change these types of people, despite them trying to groom you into allowing yourself to be abused by believing that it would.
Allowing these people in your life or sphere of influence would only destroy your peace, safety, sanity and health. You are entitled to do whatever you need to keep yourself and your family safe and sane.
You do not owe anyone an explanation.
You do not have to J.A.D.E: Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain anything to anyone.
It is okay to have boundaries. Boundaries exist for a reason – they are there to protect you.
Also, a woman (or man) with healthy boundaries is more respected than a free-for-all.
Your virtue and value are protected by having solid boundaries.
You’ll also be amazed at how much calmer, peaceful and enriched your life would become.
Be wise. Be discreet. Be discerning.
Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us.
ad Jesum per Mariam
3 thoughts on “Femininity, Boundaries And Social Media”
Thank you for this post! I really needed to hear it 🙂
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“You wouldn’t have someone come to your home address and allow them to start brandishing knives or attacking you for the way you cook your pasta, would you?”
I mean this half seriously and half jokingly: I would be more puzzled that they showed up to where I live to begin with. Id probably get them a glass of water.
I do understand your sentiments. I had to block a person on Gab who was either the silliest troll or a basement dwelling Superfund-level toxic person. I would hope you would tell someone on the margins if they goofed, if they meant it in the right way but had a bad delivery.
You did the right thing. It is not your job to teach an adult the basics of healthy human interaction. That stuff should’ve been figured out by age 7, tops.
An adult who lacks these basic social skills has already missed decades of major developmental growth and milestones, and also displays severe anti-social traits.
We just can’t fix everyone or try to. People are responsible for fixing themselves.
All we can do is have good boundaries to ensure our own sanity and safety – either physically, emotionally or otherwise.
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