Weight And Femininity After Marriage Or Middle Age

Someone left a comment somewhere on the TCF Facebook page that after marriage, women need to maintain their weight and femininity to remain attractive to their husbands. 

Not entirely sure if this person was being sarcastic, but I thought I’d address it anyway. 

Maintaining your weight after marriage is nigh impossible. Even if you do not have a truckload of kids, ageing by itself will add some weight to your frame. 

The best thing you can do is to try and keep healthy as much as you can. 

Be mindful of a very high amount of midsection weight because this can lead to diabetes or heart problems. And try to consume a healthy, high protein and vegetable diet; low in carbs and fats.  It will keep your heart, brain and bones healthy.  As women get older, we are more vulnerable to having bone, knee or hip issues, especially if we had kids because, during pregnancy, our growing baby is siphoning away our own calcium reserves to build their own calcium and their bones.

Most husbands do understand that a woman’s weight will not remain the same after marriage, but they will certainly appreciate their feminine wives retaining their feminine energy as the years and decades go by. 

Luckily for us, while we have no control over our weight, we CAN control how feminine we are. 

Being feminine isn’t just for young women. Older women can be feminine too.

As a side note, please disavow the ridiculous notion that women try to maintain their weight or femininity for the sake of their husbands, or to be more attractive to their husbands.
That is utter nonsense – there are many unmarried, divorced or widowed older women who are still very feminine.  My mother was a widow and she remained feminine until her death.

We nurture our femininity, not just for men, although that is an unexpected bonus, but to show honour and reverence to God, to nature the gift and talent that He has given to us. Married or not, God is the first one that we strive to please!  Please do not ever conflate older traditional catholic feminine women with the 1950s female stereotype who focused on their appearance to remain attractive to the opposite sex and to their husbands.

It is not the same.  It is not even in the same postcode.


So, here are ways to retain and nurture your femininity after marriage, in middle age and beyond



One thing that really bugs me is how so many women reach a certain age and they cut their hair to a shorter style.  This is yet another demonic feminist lie that has been force-fed on us for decades. Feminists want to strip women of their femininity – to turn us into proto-men – and they perpetuate the “you are too old for long hair” lie.

You are NEVER too old for long hair.  Your hair is given to you by God as a glory – why on earth would you hack away the glory that God has given you?!

Sure, long hair can be tiresome to maintain and we do not always have the time to style it everyday.  It takes little to no time at all to pull your hair into a  bun or ponytail, and reserve more elaborate hairstyling for Sundays, dinners out, or other special occasions. 

It is more feminine and looks better than simply cutting it off, which a lot of older women tend to do. Keep your hair long and simply throw it into a ponytail or bun for everyday styling.  

You can also accessorise the bun/ponytail with a ribbon, a simple small scarf, headband, Alice band, hair sticks (like Asian women do) or a small decorative comb. 

When we think of Indian or Asian women, we think of them as being very feminine.  And their femininity does not stop in old age.  These older Indian and Asian women often have very long hair, which they roll up into a bun for an every day look. The Japanese or Chinese ones may even accessorise their hair with hair sticks which adds elegance.  In fact, in these cultures, where feminism has not taken hold, it is extremely rare for older women to have short hair.
Now, doesn’t that tell you something?!

My hair is very thick and is naturally afro textured.  Wearing it loose or down on a daily basis is a nope for me because it requires A LOT of maintenance and styling. So, my go-to everyday style as a busy mom and wife is to throw my hair into a bun and add a simple hair stick. If the front is a bit messy, I pull back flyaways with a thin Alice band.
This is what i saw my mother do – she had very long and thick hair, but always wore it up in a bun or ponytail and on a the few occasions when she would let her hair down, people were always amazed and impressed at how thick and long her hair was.

What about colouring or dyeing your hair?

If you want to let your greys grow out, let them.  If, however, you want to colour your hair, make sure it is in your normal natural hair shade with no crazy highlights – this is more natural, more feminine and modest too. 

Definitely no crazy or unnatural hair colours. 

Buns and ponytails, as well as the accessories I mentioned above, work well for all hair types and hair textures as you can see.




For makeup, keep it soft, minimal and natural looking. Like I said before in THIS ARTICLE, heavy makeup ages you badly.

And if you are practicing good skincare like I mention in this basic skincare regimen HERE, your skin will remain healthy and beautiful, and you will age in a dignified, elegant and feminine manner. 

Practicing good grooming in hair care and skincare is just basic common sense, and applicable to girls and women of all ages. 

All the skincare and makeup that I mention above work well for all races and skin types too.




The outfits you wear can also help project feminine energy. 

Always wear dresses and skirts. They are so much more flattering on the figure than trousers or pants, especially when the weight starts to creep up.  A hemline that is either knee-length or calf-length is very versatile and attractive and during summer, feel free to swish and shimmy in a long, flowy floor-length maxi dress.  They look amazingly feminine when paired with loose hair or your hair in a bun or ponytail as described above.

For pottering around the house when doing your domestic chores, a linen dress is practical and depicts subtle feminine energy.  For messy chores or cooking, throw on a pretty apron or apron dress, which you can easily whip off if you have unexpected company. And that apron dress will be very attractive and feminine to your husband.

And no, you don’t have to wear high heels every day to be feminine.  

I am 5foot 10 tall and I am not good at wearing high heels…..like at all…….I stumbled like a baby deer trying to find its legs.  The highest heeled shoes I would wear is 3 inches and that is only for special events and special occasions. 

For everyday wear or running around town doing chores, I am usually in ballet flats, which are very feminine (think Audrey Hepburn in the 1950s/60s – she was the epitome of femininity) and they look good with dresses or skirts.
On colder days, I might wear my go-to white sneakers or Converse (low-tops or high-tips).
Other feminine footwear you can wear are wedges or kitten pumps. 




Getting older is no excuse to act in a bitter, cantankerous, or grumpy manner.  

All the behaviour traits and attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman should still be developed as you get older and you can still continue to cultivate these feminine skills. 

Like I said, being feminine is for all ages. 

God doesn’t want us to stop being the feminine woman He created us to be just because we are now married or getting older.  Your body and your femininity is a gift to you from God; it is your duty and obligation to continue to take care of it and nurture it until He calls you home. 

Our Lady, Model Of Femininity, pray for us.




  ad Jesum per Mariam



One thought on “Weight And Femininity After Marriage Or Middle Age

  1. Unfortunately, it is a plague among many white women to experience thinning of hair post-menopause, to the point where long hair looks terrible and stringy, and the weight can increase hair loss because of weakened follicles. The good news is that there are shorter styles out there that remain feminine. My beloved and holy, beautifully feminine grandmother found one.

    I’m 41 and have had very long hair for most of my life. At one point it was almost to my knees and very thick. After my last baby, though, I lost about 50% of that thickness. It still leaves me enough to maintain hip-length hair fairly well, but I can clearly see the loss of volume and have had to change how I wear my hair accordingly. If I follow in my genetic footsteps, I can experience another loss. I work with scarves, headbands, and even hair pieces to maintain beautiful hair.


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