Unpopular opinion, but if you are dating a much older man (ie 10 and more older than you) and you are going 50-50 on dates, or you are not a housewife or sahm, or you remain with him while he is not investing in you, not buying you appropriate gifts for special occasions or worse, you are supporting him financially (ie paying for stuff for him, giving him money, letting him use your car etc), you not only played yourself BIG TIME but you display incredibly foolish behaviour.
A man should be investing in you anyway, whether he is older or younger than you. That is what a man should do. But this increases the older the man is.
Older men are not stupid. He will target younger women for their youth and gullibility, but instead of feeding his masculinity by making him WORK FOR IT, PROVE HIMSELF AND FINANCIALLY/MATERIALLY INVEST IN YOU, you are giving yourself so easily to him…..on a platter.
Very very foolish!!!
In fact, the bigger the age gap, the more he should be investing in you and if he is not, you walk!!
If he is not paying for your dates, you walk!
If he is not treating you or giving appropriate gifts, you walk!!
The immense amount of disrespect and abuse that women today get from a lot of men is simply because we allow it.
The appropriate response is to a man, especially an older man, who is not investing in you is to cut them off from you. Quick!!
A TCF reader just wrote to me telling me that she was recently dating an older guy. He is 15 years older than her and sure, he paid for all their dates.
They had their 3rd date two days before Christmas and knowing she wouldn’t see him again before Christmas Day, she got him a card – just a simple Christmas card.
She debated whether or not to also get him a gift, but decided against it cos she remembered what I always say that a man should be investing in you first.
Now this man is very financially comfortable AND older than her. It would have cost him nothing to get her a gift or card, and what did he get her – nothing. She felt a bit embarrassed as she gave him the Christmas card and he has nothing in return.
She dumped him shortly afterward and that was the right thing to do because the man was indirectly telling her that he does not value her, does not want to invest in her and does not see a future with her.
He was simply dating her to try and get sex quickly from her and then he would have discarded her.
Frankly, I’m quite disgusted at men who are stingy in this way, but a wealthy man who is also stingy – GROSS!! 🤮 🤮
If you are lucky enough to snag or date a man who is financially very comfortable and you think he will be a good provider, hold your horses and don’t get overly excited just yet. Just because he is affluent does not mean he is honourable or of high value.
Don’t let him get away with anything just because he is affluent. Older men who are wealthy will gladly run through young, impressionable women many times over with no regret.
In fact, the older or the more wealthy he is, the stricter your boundaries should be and the more you should demand of him.
Older men, especially those who are affluent, are used to women falling over themselves to be with them cos these women foolishly think that if they give him access to their lives and their bodies, he will shower them with material things.
Nope. You just have yourself, your body, your time and your energy away for free!
If you want to stand out to an older man or a man of means, then you must do things that the vast majority of women he gets involved with will not be doing.
You dress very modest, sweet and feminine – most women around him will dress slutty or provocative to get his attention.
And you have very firm boundaries – most women around him won’t. Remain sweet and feminine, but have strong boudaries and do not accept just anything.
This is how you stand out to men in general, and in particular to affluent men as they will see you as very different, very intriguing and thus valuable.
Don’t believe all the promises and talks about how he wants to buy you this or buy you that, or take you to this exclusive restaurant, where he wants to take you on holiday……blah blah blah. It’s all just words – words are free and easy.
If he is not backing them up with tangible actions, he is just manipulating you; you are being love-bombed and future-faked.
If there is only one thing to always remember, know this – men of all ages and income levels, only value things and people they invest in – TIME, MONEY and EFFORT! If he is not investing these in you, he does not value you, does not see you as a worthy investment and does not want a future with you.
And you will never change his mind.
Just because he is ABLE to provide does not automatically mean that he is WILLING to provide.
The best thing to do, to preserve your dignity and self respect, is to walk away from such a man!!
GIFT GIVING IN RELATIONSHIPS
Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us.
ad Jesum per Mariam