Valentine’s Day is traditionally a day when men who are married or in relationships should be wooing their significant other with romantic gifts.
It is a day particularly devoted to romance because it is the feast day of St Valentine, defender of the Sacrament of Marriage and patron of happy marriages.
These gifts do not have to be expensive gifts, but they should definitely be romantic gifts and as it is the man that traditionally proposes to the woman, it is the man that should offer romantic gifts to his beloved.
It is always a HUGE RED FLAG when a guy gives you a non-romantic gift, especially on Valentine’s Day.
It is often an indication of any of the following:
- He truly does not care about you or your feelings
- It is a manipulation and a test to see if you will accept poor treatment from or if you are so desperate for a relationship that you will stay with a person who treats you poorly.
- He wants you to lower your expectations of being treated decently and to groom you for worse treatment in the future.
- He lacks empathy and this means he is not in tune at all with your feelings and does not care about what makes you happy.
Now, some people will try to argue that certain types of people (eg autistics and so on) lack empathy and may misread social cues.
This is not true and it is a lie promoted by narcissistic, abusive people.
Autistics are poor in reading social cues, that is true, but they very often learn how to behave correctly in social and interpersonal relationships.
Many of them will go on Google and google ‘romantic gifts’ to find out what will be the right gift to give their partner. They may be socially awkward, but they are often eager to learn and improve themselves.
Narcissistic and abusive people don’t do this. They do not care about trying to improve themselves, work on themselves or make their partner happy. They believe they are perfect the way they are and they expect everyone else around them to adjust to their warped reality.
This is the big difference between narcissistic people and autistics – people with autism care about how their behaviour affects others; people with narcissism don’t.
Narcissists, abusers and manipulators will often give you non-romantic gifts on Valentine’s Day in order to test you: will you stay with me if I treat you poorly.
Normal people do not go around ‘testing’ people they claim to care about.
Love does not include tests.
Manipulators and abusers however like to continually test their significant others to see how much abuse this person can take.
A man who is testing you DOES NOT love you at all.
When a guy disregards your feelings in this way, it is abuse and if you remain with him, you are telling him that you are a willing candidate for his abuse and from then on, things will get worse.
People communicate to us how they feel about us, not just through their words, but through their actions.
Over 85% of human communication is through behaviour and body language, not words.
The mistake some people make is to take a person on their words alone, ignoring all other cues in their behaviour and actions.
It is common knowledge that narcissistic and abusive people can be easy to spot as their words and actions do not align. They can tell you they care about you, they can tell you they love you, but their actions tell a very different story.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO PAY ATTENTION.
So if the gentleman you are dating gives you a non-romantic gift for Valentine’s Day, the best thing to do would be to end the relationship shortly after. Do not stay in a relationship with a man like this.
Now, some men are pranksters and like to play jokes on their partners.
Personally, I think pranks and jokes have on place on important days like Valentine’s Day.
I have a friend whose husband is a prankster and he would give the most ridiculous, outrageous and non-romantic gift on Valentine’s Day and anniversaries, and he has always done this before they were even married.
However. He is not stupid. He enjoys pranking her, but also knows it is more important to show her that he loves and cares for her.
So what he does is give a non-romantic gift or play a prank on her first and then at some point during the day, he surprises her with a real romantic gift.
She enjoys the surprise of having a lovely romantic gift after an initial terrible gift and he enjoys pranking her, then seeing her face break out in smiles and surprise on seeing her real gift. This dynamic works for them and there is no disrespect, disregard or undermining of the relationship.
A prankster would still consider your feelings and would still be eager to make you feel loved and cherished.
An abusive person will play pranks on you, without caring about your feelings – they only care about themselves and how funny they think your pain and disappointment is
St Valentine is the patron saint of happy marriages and a man treating you so poorly on Valentine’s Day portends of a future UNHAPPY marriage……if this person even chooses to marry you at all.
You are a beautiful daughter of God who values herself and you are not desperate. What you put up with is what will continue and the best way to communicate that you value yourself is by walking away PERMANENTLY from an individual who does this to you.
Now, how about women?
What gifts are women to give their significant other for Valentine’s Day?
“….buy him grass!!”
But seriously – can women give men romantic gifts?
Short answer: NO.
Remember, Valentine’s Day is about the man WOOING you, so it is him, not you, who should be bringing romantic gifts.
Women should not be wooing men.
Wooing is a masculine act.
Your job as a woman is to remain in your feminine energy and that entails being receptive to his wooing – that’s it.
Being perceived as a high-value feminine woman isn’t just revealed in your attire; it is also revealed in how you conduct yourself.
You can wear the prettiest dress ever, but if you go around acting like a man (ie chasing a guy or wooing him) or like a mother, you will not be treated as a high-value feminine woman who should be loved, cherished, protected and provided for.
This is why remaining in your feminine energy is so important.
So check out my article WHAT GIFT TO GIVE A GUY FOR VALENTINE’S DAY.
Happy Valentine’s Day. Enjoy it, even if you are single.
And for courting couples, don’t let the romantic vibes of Valentine’s Day lead you into sin. St Valentine did not get martyred just so you can fornicate on his feast day
St. Valentine, defender of the sacrament of marriage and patron of happy marriages, pray for us.
Virgin Most Pure, pray for us
ad Jesum per Mariam