I recently came across this tweet and I have to say I agree with this.

 

He is not the only one to voice this sentiment either.
Many people and professionals advocate for medical testing prior to marriage

Marriage is serious business; it is a HOLY SACRAMENT instituted by God and too many people jump into it without any forethought, basing their decision to get married purely on lust and feeewwwwings(!)

Most of the medical tests on the list are primarily for the benefit of any unborn offspring. 
We cannot claim to be pro-life if we are not doing all we can to protect the lives of not just live babies and humans, but also the lives of the unborn.
Awareness of any genetic, rhesus or other issues prior to conception can make us better prepared to handle any issues that may arise and also to seek early treatment, if necessary, that can save the unborn baby’s life.

However, there are 3 MOST IMPORTANT TESTS on this list that can determine whether or not the marriage should even proceed in the 1st place.

The first test is the HIV test.

Now, do not assume that HIV infection is only exclusive to the gay community. This used to be the case, but there many men who are covertly bisexual or gay, yet posing as heterosexuals. These men will often get married to hide their lifestyle and some of them contract HIV through secret sex trysts with men.  
Some men also contract HIV from secret trysts with sex workers and prostitutes. This is why a man who is into porn or addicted to porn should be avoided like the plague. 
These men often have depraved sexual appetites and desire for certain sexual activities that they will not want to fulfill with their significant other or spouse, and so they go to prostitutes to fulfil their depravity.

If you notice that the man who is courting you has a porn habit or is unable to control his sexual desire towards you, he is displaying a lack of sexual self-control.
Do not date or marry him – break up with him immediately and block him everywhere so he is not able to seduce and lure you back into a relationship with him/
Marriage will not fix his sexual depravity, no matter how many times a day you choose to have sex with him and he will inevitably seek sexual experience with prostitutes or other men behind your back, placing you at risk of HIV infection.

However, careless, indiscriminate sex is not the only way that people contract HIV. 
It can be contracted when drug users share needles and if the person had a past of drug use, but is now clean, they might have contracted HIV.

Other ways that HIV could be contracted are through receiving tainted blood products, especially if the person lived or came from a country where the medical system isn’t properly regulated.  
Some may have been born with it due to perhaps their father unknowingly passing it on to their mother.
So there are many ways that HIV can be contracted and we should not judge people with HIV as some of them contracted it through no fault of their own.

In fact, recent studies have shown that HIV infection among heterosexuals is now at higher levels than it is among the gay population.  This is mainly due to reckless sex, deceptive male partners, lack of testing (because some people still think it is only a gay disease) and so on.

What then do you do if your partner that you are thinking of marrying tests positive for HIV?

If it is the woman with HIV, it is manageable through medication, natural intercourse for conception is allowed, there’s little risk of transmission to the unborn baby and an extremely low chance of transmission to the man.  It is safe to proceed with the marriage.

If it is the man with HIV,  it is manageable through medication, but is highly transmissible to the woman; natural intercourse to conceive is NOT advisable and there’s a risk of transmission to the unborn baby. It is NOT safe to proceed with the marriage and I would call off the relationship.

Please note that if your partner loves you, they will be concerned for your safety and wellbeing. 
If they are being resistant to taking an HIV test, that is all you need to know that they do not care about you at all, they have nasty secrets in their lives and they are trying to entrap you – none of this is love and you should call it at once and block them everywhere.

The next most important test on this list is the fertility test.
You already know how I feel about fertility testing before marriage.

In general, fertility problems can be managed or even rectified, depending on the nature of the fertility problems.
You can still proceed with the marriage, but you must both be prepared to adopt if infertility in marriage prevents a pregnancy. You MUST be open to life – this is Catholic teaching!!
The primary purpose of marriage is for procreation and if you are unwilling to be open to life, either your own biological children or adoption, you should not be getting married at all.

The final most important test on this list is the mental health test.
Again, most mental illnesses are manageable as long as the patient is undergoing consistent treatment and therapy.
Do not marry someone who is not committed to their mental health or who is slacking in taking their treatment seriously.

Mental illnesses are not the same as personality disorders. 
Mental illnesses are treatable and it is perfectly fine to proceed with marriage to someone with a mental illness, but you must bear in mind that some mental illnesses such as schizophrenia have a genetic risk.

When it comes to personality disorders, these do not respond to mental health treatment as these are deeply ingrained character pathologies. However, some personality disorders are more manageable than others.

Personality disorders are grouped into 3 main categories: Cluster A personality disorders, Cluster B personality disorders, and Cluster C personality disorders.

Out of these 3 categories, Cluster A and Cluster C personality disorders cause suffering to the patient and this makes the patient more likely to be motivated to work on themselves. 
In addition, these personality disorders (Cluster A and Cluster C) do not cause damage to the people (ie family and loved ones) around the patient.
People with Cluster A or Cluster C personality disorders certainly have internal challenges, but they are still able to have fairly functional relationships with the people in their lives, including their spouses and children, as long as they are doing the work.

Cluster B personality disorders fall on the Cluster B spectrum – the spectrum of narcissism – and they include disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder, also known as sociopathy and psychopathy.
Cluster B personality disorders receive a lot of press and media coverage simply because of how incredibly dangerous, destructive, and damaging they are to people, to families and to society at large. 
These people DO NOT SUFFER from their disorder. 
It does not cause them any distress; it is the people in their lives, their spouses, family and loved ones, who suffer immensely and who are damaged, harmed and even killed as a result of their disorder.

When you combine that with the fact that people with Cluster B personality disorders have no empathy and are incapable of change, it is very easy to see that they are simply not built to have interpersonal or intimate relationships, and even Fr. Ripperger, Vatican exorcist, and multi-degree psychologist, confirms this.

Brain scans have also confirmed that the brains of these people simply do not function like the rest of us.  They just don’t have the emotional and psychological tools to caregive, to attach or to bond with others, and these three qualities are the necessary components of love. 
If a person is lacking in these, they are simply unable to love in any meaningful way.

Out of all the personality disorders, Cluster B personality disorders are the ones I would advise that you do not date, court, marry or have children with.

Does this mean then that these people are not suited to the vocation of marriage?
Frankly, Yes!! 
And additionally, they are not suited to religious life either because being when you are in religious life, your religious community is like your family and there will be close interpersonal relations with them.  But since Cluster B personality disordered people cannot do this without harming, abusing, manipulating or damaging the people around them, they should not enter religious life either.
Predatory priests or abusive nuns are the results of Cluster B personality disordered people who have been allowed to enter religious life.

Relationships, marriage or even community life with the Cluster B Personality Disordered will always result in INEVITABLE HARM.

An ideal vocation for people with Cluster B personality disorders would be the Consecrated Single Life. They can still serve God by living out their vocations but without interpersonal relationships.

But do not date them or marry them. 
In fact, early in the dating process, you will often detect the red flags that they have a Cluster B Personality Disorder.  When you notice this, do not try to justify it, argue with them, explain or defend or seek discourse with them – you walk away quickly and quietly; you end the relationship immediately.

Just as with HIV testing, if your partner is refusing to get a mental health assessment, you need to call off the relationship immediately.

Also, bear in mind that Cluster B Personalities are incredibly charming and deceptive, and very often they will manipulate and fool therapists. 
You do not necessarily need a mental health diagnosis of Cluster B Personality Disorder in order to end the relationship with a Cluster B or narcissistic person.  The red flags are enough. 
Their actions and behaviour, NOT THEIR WORDS, are all you need to walk away and protect yourself.

There are too many kind, decent, loving people in this world who would cherish you and give you a beautiful traditional Catholic marriage and family life for you to be chasing after dysfunctional, disordered and destructive people.
You cannot and you WILL NOT have a happy, functional relationship or marriage with a dysfunctional person.  The Bible is explicitly clear – be not unequally yoked!

These tests, especially the mental illness test and psychological testing, should be made mandatory by priests prior to marrying a couple.

When a couple is found to be incompatible, due to one of them having a Cluster B Personality Disorder, the priest should refuse to marry the couple.

If more Catholic priests did this, there would be fewer marriage failures in the Church and less harm, abuse, or even death caused to innocent partners and children.

If the Catholic Church truly wants to eliminate controversy and have a pure, holy Church, while promoting virtuous, holy, traditional, Catholic families, it begins before marriage is contracted.

I sincerely hope that more church officials or priests who are educated in psychology will take these issues into consideration.
A person with a Cluster B personality disorder is incompatible with the vocations of marriage or religious life.

 

This is a smart woman!!
Do not be so desperate to be married or a homemaker that you date or marry the first man that shows significant interest in you.
This is precisely the reason why predators and abusive men target trad or Catholic communities – they are looking to ensnare the silly, desperate girls who think that simply because a man claims to be Catholic and says all the right things, he MUST be husband-material.

A real trad, feminine woman knows she is of high value and she is not desperate.
She knows it is not judgemental to have boundaries and standards. 
She is careful, wise, discerning and will not hesitate to walk away from any guy who displays red flags, even if she has been dating him for a while or if the red flags pop up during the engagement and proposal.

 

So there you have it. 
The essential medical tests to have before you get married, with the three most important ones that will be dealbreakers to the success of your marriage.

May we have the wisdom and discernment to make the right choices before marriage.

Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us.

 

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 ad Jesum per Mariam

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