As many of you are aware, my blog and my firm stance on traditional gender roles have come under fire, from stingy men who baulk at the idea of having to financially provide for their wives and families, and from women who recoil in horror at the thought of obeying and submitting to their husbands.
This is so sad to see because these people claim to be Christians and Catholic, yet they blatantly refuse to obey God’s commandments.
They even claim to be trads, but are nothing of the sort.
They are hypocrites, vipers and modern-day Pharisees, preaching tolerant Christianity and telling people what they want to hear, even if it sends their souls to Hell….all in the name of garnering admiration, popularity and a high number of followers.
By their fruits, you shall know them and anyone who finds excuses not to obey God’s commandments or redefines and twists Scripture is diabolical and definitely not of God.
Here is an example.
Some of the trolls that I mentioned above follow me on Tumblr and viciously attacked me, calling me a fundamental, rad trad etc for simply obeying God’s Word.
I instantly recognised the diabolical spirit of the devil influencing them and promptly stopped following them.
However, the way Tumblr is designed, if someone I am following shares their stuff, it sometimes comes up on my timeline, just like this abomination that I saw today.
Ah, the good ole’ debate of Ephesians 5; specifically Ephesians 5: 22.
It is terrible that there are people online giving inadequate, erroneous and downright dangerous advice, and even though the responders to the anonymous above are young, it is still not an excuse because there are several young Catholics and Christians out there with a great deal of maturity.
What the 1st responder (tradfems) should have actually said is that the Bible specifically says WIVES are to submit to and obey, not just any man, but their HUSBANDS and generally any man with rightful headship over them, such as their fathers or their priests, as long as what they demand is not contrary to God’s Word.
She should have also stressed the second part of this instruction that men are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. A man who does not love his wife or who abuses and mistreats her loses the privilege of her submission and obedience.
The anonymous who asked the question sounds like a feminist or someone conditioned with feminist ideology and the idea of deferring to any man is clearly horrifying to her.
She already has a major prejudice against ALL MEN and is using her hatred of men as an excuse to be an atheist.
Note that she said she was a Christian until she came across a hard saying and then she quit being a Christian.
When Christ told us to carry our cross and follow Him, He was not telling us that being a Christian would be a bed of roses. He was telling us that it would be difficult, but worth it all
First of all, you are no Christian if you find it hard to obey Christ’s commandments. It’s like saying “I was once a bus driver until someone told me that I had to drive a bus, so I quit”
Second of all, you are no Christian if you take instructions from people rather than from God. If she was truly a Christian, she would have known that what the person told her is Biblical and in the Bible. She knows nothing of the Bible or of Christianity.
Or perhaps she DOES know the Bible teaching on this and she chose to ignore it until someone actually had the nerve, the effrontery, the unmitigated gall to echo what the Bible said, pricking at her own conscience, and that was her open door to abandon Christ.
She simply wants a convenient, pick-and-choose religion that suits her lifestyle. She wants to be her own god.
Christianity is not Burger King! You can’t have it your way.
She sounds like someone who expects life to be plain sailing all the way. She’ll quit her marriage if things get difficult; she’ll quit her job, if things get a little demanding. Such maturity (!)
However, what really appalled me is the response given by patron-saint-of-smart-asses: “We are to submit to men and they are to submit to us…” What??! Like, what??!!
What kind of nonsensical, straight-up erroneous drivel is this?! Men submit to God, NOT women. Period!
The Bible does tell women to obey and submit to their husbands, but also that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church – a sacrificial love, a providing love, a protective love.
This is the natural order that God instituted for the family.
The husband leading and loving his wife and family, while submitting to God, and the wife obeying, nurturing and caring for her husband, while in submission to him and God, AND the children obeying and submitting to their parents and God.
Redefining and sugar-coating the gospel to for mass appeal is devious, diabolical, dangerous and demonic.
For every soul that you lead astray through lies and deceptions, you will answer to God. You’d be better off keeping your mouth shut.
This cognitive dissonance as displayed by the above responders is exactly what happens when you as a Catholic also claim to be a feminist. Feminism is in direct contradiction to Catholicism and Biblical living. The two ideologies simply cannot be resolved, and you will end up looking and sounding distorted, confused and fragmented.
These two responders, toying with the eternal damnation of their own souls for the sake of popularity, should seriously go read Matthew 18:6 and Luke 17:2. because they do not seem to know anything whatsoever about the Bible either.
Unlike the two Miss-Universe-wannabe above, I do not sugarcoat anything that I say.
My goal is not about amassing a huge amount of followers or gaining popularity.
My goal is to enrich your earthly life and get you to Heaven!
I am firm, but it is all done entirely with love for you.
My articles will stimulate discussion and yes, they would prick the heart.
This is a good thing! This does not mean that you are being judged or that you are a terrible person, but rather, a sign that God is speaking directly to you and He wants you to change something in your life.
I pray every day, asking God that through my articles and my ministry, the Holy Spirit will prick hearts of people, showing them the areas of their lives that they can change or improve upon in order to reap the fullness of God’s blessings.
Being called Radical, fundamental or a Rad Trad, especially in this modern-day liberal society, is not an insult to me. It is actually a badge of honour for me and THIS is why.
The real question is: when the Holy Spirit comes a-knocking, would you listen?
Or would you rather ignore Him and harden your heart?
Beware of hardening your heart. Do not test the patience of our Lord.
Submit to God’s authority through His Word.
Read Jeremiah 16:12, Matthew 13:15, Romans 2:5, and Mark 4:16-17.
Now, with regards to the topic of Women, Submission and Obedience.
The Bible NEVER said women are to submit and obey men. In fact, read the entire passage of Ephesians 5:22-30 and then come back to this article.
As you can see, the Bible tells wives (not simply women), to obey and submit to their husbands.
What man-haters and feminists like to leave out is that the Bible, in verses 25-30, also tells husbands to love their wives, as Christ loves the Church.
The submission and obedience that God requires of us is not servitude or slavery.
We are to submit and obey to the right man, our husbands, a God-fearing man, as long as it is not in contrary to God’s Word.
A God-fearing man who obeys the Bible and who loves his wife as his own body and as Christ loves the Church, has rightful headship over his wife and has earned her submission and obedience.
This is who, as wives, that you are to obey and submit to.
A man who is ungodly, disobedient to God, and abusive to his wife and family loses his authority and headship over her, does not get the privilege of submission or obedience.
For these above reasons, I stress the importance of marrying the right guy.
You cannot marry right if you keep dating wrong.
When you marry the right man, who joyfully provides for you and lovingly protects you, submission and obedience become, not a burden, but a joy that you readily offer to him.
Women naturally obey and submit to a man who has it together, who leads, protects and provides for her, in complete love. And the wise and BIblical woman only does it for a man who she is married to – as commanded by the Bible.
I also see women in trad circles, boasting about submitting to their – wait for it – boyfriends!
What foolishness is this??!!
Submitting to a man who is not your husband is just as bad and as foolish as premarital sex.
The Bible SPECIFICALLY says “wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands.”
Key words: “WIVES” and “HUSBANDS”
Submitting to a man who is not your husband and has not made you a wife is blatant disobedience to God, and definitely not something to be proud of.
Mary, model of femininity, pray for us
ad Jesum per Mariam
7 thoughts on “Are Women To Submit and Obey?”
God bless you for your desire to obey Our Lord. A most noble endeavor. However sister, I worry that you along with many Traditional Catholics are becoming scrupulous and fundamental as though you were Amish. That is not fully Catholic. Do not let your desire to please God result in accusing others with different opinions of heresy. You become a hypocrite if you do. Rather educate with love, and not just by angrily quoting the catechism or your interpretation of scripture as the protestants do, but by loving and listening. In regards to this post, both spouses do submit to each other. When a husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church, he is submitting to her need to be loved and acknowledged. If using the word “submit” is upsetting to you, you are getting weighted down by semantics. The concepts displayed are what matter, for instance, the wife submits to her husband in respect for him. Any husband who views his wives submission as a good or exciting thing misses the mark. You aren’t supposed to marry so that you get a servant. You marry for procreation. If a man enjoys the idea of sitting back and letting you dote on him like he is royalty, then he has a certain level of arrogance about him. This is not Catholic either. A godly man will say “Honey, I know you’ve had your hands full with the kids all day, let me help with those dishes” not “Yeah bring me a beer and the paper and don’t bother me.” Only one of those sentences displays love and care for the wife. So whats the difference between submission and love? In a marriage context, largely nothing. Each spouse will put the other’s needs first. Submission would indicate that you are giving over authority to your husbands will and not yours. The husband gives of his own desires and needs when he puts the needs of his wife first. It shouldn’t be hard for you to see why modern society has a twisted view of this relationship. It is because when many Christian women talk about submission they scarcely reference the husband’s responsibility at all, and instead act very prudish and risk the sin of calling their neighbor a fool. I write this not to nag or be rude, but just to offer a perspective. I love my wife more than life itself. I provide for her not just physically but emotionally. She is my wife and therefore I couldn’t care less about my needs or wants. And she feels the same way about me. There is a fine line between submission and subjugation. The latter is gravely sinful. You are not a feminist because you demand the respect you deserve from your husband, so don’t let fear of modernism drive you down a pharisaical path. Humility is crucial to being Catholic and part of humility is knowing how to preach the truth. Don’t force or coerce your morals onto other women, for in the process you lose your morality. It is a difficult path and may God bless you on your journey to become more like our lady.
I wonder if there is any correlation to abuse in a marriage and masculine women. People don’t talk about it, but there is abuse in homosexual relationships and it outpaces heterosexual relationships.
I was curious your thoughts on two things.
1. What about the quote where St. Paul writes: “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:22). And St John Chrysostom even said that marriage is mutual submission. Now I know ultimately the man is the leader and headship but how would you better elaborate on the submission of man in the relationship. You adamantly oppose a concept of submission in the mans part at all above so was curious how you would respond to this
2. You mention the man must earn the submission through proper love and care and if he doesn’t then he loses his authority…how would you address the saints such as St Monica or St Rita or many others who endures the abuse of husbands silently and quietly and through their humble submissive actions ended up converting their husbands? When is it too much to endure? When does a wife say it’s enough and he’s lost his authority ?
Further what if a husband thinks he is being Godly but the wife disagrees and therefore decides that he should lose his authority? How would you address this with someone? Just like a kindgdom you have to have authority and and revolting is not good, even if the monarchy is bad we are called to submit to the proper ordering of things according to God’s design. So yes we can’t submit in committing a sin ourselves but otherwise enduring pain and suffering and what not…how do you defend the “line” by which one can decide if they shouldn’t submit to their husbands anymore? And what if there are people who have a more liberal view of faith supporting the husband whereas the wife sees the truth much more deeply and wishes to uphold that with herself and her children and therefore would determine that her husband isn’t living a Godly life becuase he is using faith to create his “Burger king” religion picking and choosing rather than following it in truth.
I know there’s a lot there but coming off of what you wrote I just Wanted to hear more specifics on these two points.
Thanks and God Bless!
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With regards to the above, we must be extremely careful in trying to pattern our lives after the saints.
The saints, as holy as they were, are not our templates for us to follow. Our template for perfect femininity, womanhood and perfection is Our Lady first and foremost.
We must also understand that the saints lived in very different times to ours.
Society has made a lot of progress and the Church will never EVER advocate any woman or man staying in an abusive relationship.
Not only is it extremely damaging to the mental and physical health of the spouse and children, it can be fatal.
Because a saint chose to enter a lion’s den does not mean that we all are to do the same.
If you wish to be a martyr by choosing to remain in an abusive marriage, risking your own health and life, then that is your choice, but your children, if you have any, do not deserve to endure that with you and should be removed from your care.
God is not mocked. God said wives are to submit and husbands are to love their wives, but God never said that wives are to stay in any situation at the expense of their souls or their lives.
Submission has been perverted and misinterpreted and this is why a lot of women equate submission with yielding to abuse. This is simply not the case.
Abusive husbands will always lie, manipulate and gaslight the wife into thinking that she deserves the abuse.
If it is anything that involves breaking the law, then he is not allowed to do it.
For example, he might be financially abusing her, but insist that he is doing the godly thing. Thankfully, we live in an age of easy access to information and several countries have domestic violence and domestic abuse resources that list specifically what constitutes abuse in relationships and marriage, from financial abuse to physical, sexual, and even emotional abuse.
Consulting this should very quickly reveal whether or not his actions are legal and if the lines of legality are slightly blurred and he is being very clever in disguising the abuse or gaslighting her, then the couple should seek advice and counseling from the Church, ideally from a Traditional Catholic priest.
Wives first obligation is obedience and submission to God, and guess what, if submitting to their husband involves doing something that goes against God’s Word or His Will, God takes preference, NOT the husband.
Hope this helps!
Maybe I can help answer the questions about Eph 5:21 and St. John Chrysostom. In context you can see that Eph 5:21 says to ALL Christians: “Be subject one to another out of reverence for Christ.” And then St. Paul goes on to specify various concrete examples of submission in human relationships: “Wives, be subject to your husbands” (5:22), “Children, obey your parents” (6:1), and “Slaves, be obedient to your masters” (6:5). In each case also, there is a corresponding instruction given: “Husbands, love your wives” (5:25), “Fathers, do not provoke your children” (6:4), and “Masters, forbear threatening” (6:9). In would be nonsense to interpret these as cases of “mutual submission” in the sense of mutual obedience, since that would imply that parents should obey their children. But what St. John Chrysostom means by “mutual submission” is not mutual obedience. His interpretation of “mutual submission” is that wives are to submit to their husbands through obedience to his God-given authority; and husbands are to submit to their wives by using his authority for her well-being out of love. In other words, the “submission” of the husband is not to obey his wife, but to use his authority in her service.
I have a question.. what does submitting to one’s husband look like? I am not actively looking for a husband right now as I am still in school but I would like to be prepared when God decides to put the right man in my life. 🙂
To reply to Nicole’s question this is one of attitude and submission to God and as Paige says our example as Catholic women is that of Our Lady.
In marriage the husband is the head of the family, under Christ and as such it is the duty of a wife to submit to him and support him in his dealings with the world in general on behalf of his family.
It is rare in a Christian marriage, where both follow Christ for that to involve direct day to day obedience (in the way a child should obey it’s parents) but where differences of opinion do exist, ultimately the husband does have the last word. Also where the husband has a particular approach to religious observance, it is for the wife to follow (an example for many women is the requirement or otherwise to veil). There are also specific instances where submission can be more direct in the personal relationship between husband and wife.
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