The Misogyny Of Traditional Catholic Men

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When I talk about looking for red flags in the early dating phase or suggestions on how to avoid being divorced, there will always inevitably be a man who writes to me, telling me things like “this is too prohibitive”..”women should date and obey their man” or like this ‘gem’ I recently received:
“I like what you’re saying but seriously God’s first commandment is be fruitful and multiply to Adam and Eve. Can you all make it any more difficult and add any more rules and regulations? I mean….come on the goal is to form families here….idk this just seems prohibitive.”

Do you see how these predators and manipulators like to twist and pervert Scripture in order to lure women into unsafe and dangerous relationships?

They want to simply overlook any red flags, to disregard having boundaries and standards and to simply grab any man you can and marry them.
Sure, God did command us (actually He commanded Adam and Eve SPECIFICALLY)  to be fruitful and multiply, but there are definite boundaries around that.  For example, we cannot just go around breeding with everything that moves like animals, we cannot and should not commit incest, we also have been told NUMEROUS times in the Bible to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers or marry and have children with people who do not share our faith.
Furthermore, not everyone is called to marriage; some are called to religious life.  Yet this manipulator is trying to convince us that if we are not getting married and having children, we are worthless and disobedient to God.  Tell that to all the saints and the Apostles, many of whom died and achieved sainthood without ever getting married.  This dude is clearly not Catholic and is trying to weaponise Scripture against us.  If he is Catholic he is obviously a fraud as he should’ve known that not everyone is supposed to be married.

But the nonsense spoken by the nonsense man above shows that predators do not care about you. He only seems to care about getting a woman he can have regular sex with (note his emphasis on sex and reproduction, rather than on helping each other get to heaven) and suggests that women should not have boundaries, standards and rules  because it is all too ‘prohibitive’

It is the same lack of control, wisdom, and discernment that we see in the modern-day hookup culture, except he is trying to dress it up as marriage, and downplaying a very serious commitment – the sacrament of marriage.  With men like these refusing to respect the gravity of marriage, is it any wonder then that there is a divorce epidemic like I talked about HERE?
These are the types of men that just want to get married for sexual access, and then once they have that, and realise that there are other serious incompatibilities there, they would cheat, abandon you or the more dangerous ones will commit familicide.

Graveyards are full of women and children who have been murdered by men who entered marriage without respect for the gravity of the commitment, and men like these who are lackadaisical about marriage should be avoided because they will treat you with the same casual careless manner.

An excellent video on the alarming rates of femicide by men and why there is an increasing rates of narcissistic and abusive men murdering their wives, partners and even children, and these are always driven by misogyny.
It is no wonder that marriage and relationship rates are dropping as more women are opting out of marriage and relationships.
It is simply not safe anymore.
The young women who are entering religious life at high rates are truly ahead of the game.
As well as the single women (widowed, single or moms) who are setting up co-sharing and communal living with other women – they too are ahead of the game

And now as more women are opting out of marriage and even relationships, these predators are getting more desperate, trying to shame, bully and even threaten women into getting married to them.

As women, it is your job to be picky and choosy, and this is why you should never settle.

I also often get letters from so-called traditional Catholic men who write to me, complaining that they cannot find good traditional Catholic women in their parishes and dioceses.  It is almost like they want me to hand them some docile, readymade woman to them on a platter, rather than them having to work to be deserving of such previous gift.  When I point them to an article that I specifically wrote on how to find traditional Catholic women, they complain that it is too much effort for them.

At one time, I too started to wonder why these traditional Catholic men are finding it hard to find a spouse when there are so many Catholic women who desire a spouse.  It took several years of me running Traditional Catholic Femininity for me to realise what was going – a vast majority of traditional Catholic men are deeply misogynistic and harbour aggressive, narcissistic and abusive rhetoric about women.  I see evidence of this in the stuff they say on social media and even when they come on to my various TCF social media platforms.  They demand submission from women they are not married to, they expect women to be beasts of burden while they refuse to invest in return and provide for women, they openly extol relationships and marriages with huge age gaps, they support domestic discipline (an abusive tactic that has no Biblical or Catholic basis)……..one of them even came on to the TCF Facebook page and said that husbands should be beating their wives, and this person claimed to be a traditional Catholic and also a lay Dominican – and by every single thing they express, they display red pill manosphere talking points that show that they listen to men like Andrew Tate and Kevin Samuels, and what they want is a subservient, docile, doormat that they can freely subjugate, abuse, control, who is merely a breeding mare and sexual object for them.

They deliberately target Catholic women and will prey on Catholic women, many times even joining a Catholic parish, because if they can marry a Catholic woman, then she is less likely to leave him and he can abuse, control, and exploit her for life. They literally have gained a slave and a physical or emotional punch bag for life.  This is why they are also the types to loudly proclaim how divorce is a sin, in order to gaslight and manipulate Catholic women into remaining in abusive and dangerous marriages, and foolish Catholic women who do not know their own Bible and Catholic tradition will believe these men.

By the way – the church can and does annul marriages, where grave deception and abuse have occured.  I have several traditional Catholic write to me to assure me that if there are cases of pornography, severe addictions, and abuse that was well hidden before marriage, and the perpetrator drops their mask after marriage, the woman can get an annulment.  You are not helpless.

But why is abuse and misogyny so rampant in the Trad Catholic community?

The answer is very simple – the wolves have infiltrated the flock. In the same way that we have had predatory Catholic priests join and infiltrate the church in order to abuse young children, why are we even surprised that predatory Catholic men join and infiltrate the traditional Catholic community in order to have access to abuse willing victims – naive Catholic women who believe in submitting to ungodly men.

If you scroll down to the comments on this post I wrote, you will see some of the horror stories from women at the hands of so-called Traditional Catholic men.

This is why the majority of my posts and articles focus more on the dating phase than on the marriage phase, as marriages are very easy to get into and hard to get out of.  Abusers and predators know this.  However, by educating yourself properly and making the right choices while single or in the dating phase, choosing the right person, you can protect yourself from inevitable divorce, or serious spousal abuse and neglect.

As more women are getting educated on abuse, misogyny and narcissism, and no longer want to be used, exploited and abused, and they can see the open misogyny and hatred from men by how they treat women, neg women, string women along without commitment, use women for sex, and openly talk about abusing women, there is now apparently a growing epidemic of loneliness among men globally. and this is because more women worldwide are choosing to simply not deal with men anymore.  Instead of men re-assessing their choices and changing their lifestyles, they now double down on their abusive behaviours, start preying on much younger women (who they believe to be more naive and thus more easily fooled), they start telling women that they will die alone (which is a lie, because studies and statistics have shown that far more men than women die alone) and are now weaponising Scripture against women.
They will do anything and everything, except change themselves.

And this rampant misogyny and open hatred for women is so rife in traditional Catholic communities because a vast majority of these so-called traditional Catholic men are frauds. Instead of listening to Fulton Sheen, Fr Ripperger, Fr Wolfe and learning from St Joseph and Emperor Karl of Austria, they are measuring their standard of manhood and masculinity. It is no wonder that they have disastrous relationships and those that do get married usually end up in divorce.

These perpetual parish bachelors who constantly squawk about how they cannot find traditional Catholic women are so disagreeable that even other Catholic men are seeing the same thing that we women are seeing.

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They be endlessly squawking about not finding good trad women when they themselves are not good trad men, watch porn constantly, expect women to pay on dates, demanding women submit & obey them and respect their “AUTHORITA!” and expect sex and intercourse, expect wife duties (cooking, cleaning etc) while refusing to court properly and marry

You will NEVER have a happy trad Catholic marriage with a man who bases his ‘trad life’ on misogynistic ideals from the world and from society, rather than the Bible and Catholic tradition. It is like trying to make an omelette without eggs – just never going to happen. 

Additionally, according to Vocation Ministry, the average age of women entering religious life is 24, while a decade ago it was 40. Not surprised. Due to the deplorable state of men today, more catholic women are choosing religious life over marriage and others are opting out of marriage altogether. 

So, what can traditional Catholic women do?

A TCF reader once mentioned that it might be best for traditional Catholic women who desire to spouse to consider Novus Ordo men, if the men show more virtue than traditional Catholic men.  And I hate to say it, but she is right.

If a Novus Ordo man shows more virtue than a traditional Catholic man, then you should absolutely let him court as long as he is happy with the non-negotiables:

  • No sex until marriage
  • Open to children and to have you as a housewife after marriage
  • Willingness to move to a Latin Mass parish with you after marriage

It is quite sad, isn’t it, that there are actually Novus Ordo men who have more virtue than traditional Catholic men, but that is what happens when the trad Catholic community gets infiltrated with perverts, degenerates, sociopaths, narcissists and predators who want to warp trad values and use them as a way to subjugate and abuse women.

As long as the man is a faithful and virtuous Catholic, whether he is Novus Ordo or Latin Mass, give him a consideration.  If the Latin Mass Catholic men want to lose virtuous women to other men due to their narcissistic and misogynistic atttitudes, then they will continue to remain single.

Better to be picky and discerning, and marry late than rush into marriage with misogynistic men who are a ticking timebomb.  Don’t just someone who claims to be Catholic and who attends Church. The pain of marrying the wrong person is WAY WORSE than your fear of not getting married.

So, here is my list of red flags in these so-called traditional Catholic men to look out.  When you see any of this, please run far from them.  Observe him and look for the red flags from the things he says to you, from how he speaks about other women, the things he posts on his social media.  Be sure to also look at what sort of content he follows

  • A preference or support for age-gap relationships where the gap is more than 7 years younger
  • Any talk about under 21s being ready for marriage
  • Any talk about women’s shelf life or hitting the wall
  • Any talk about Andrew Tate, Kevin Samuels, Just Pearly Thingz and other similar red pill manosphere influencers
  • Any talk about women dying alone or growing old with cats – this is fearmongering and grooming behaviour
  • Any talk about women submitting. Until he has made you a wife, he shouldn’t ever be talking about submission.
  • Any talk supporting husbands beating their wives or domestic discipline
  • Any form of pornography, whether it is actively watching porn or following/commenting on scantily-clad women online
  • Any obsession about a woman’s body count or virginity.  Unless he is a virgin himself, he doesn’t get to remark on a woman’s body count.  Like, who is the one taking these women’s virginity in the first place??
  • Any derogatory remarks about single mothers – like who is making these women single mothers in the first place?? Also, some women are single mothers because they are widows.  Get this foolishness out of here
  • Any derogatory remarks about Western women
  • Any man who has a pushback re men being providers
  • Any man who is stingy on dates or wants to go 50/50 – he is not a provider. Next!!
  • Any form of contempt for women.  Even if it is for other women, it is a warning sign.  He may not be displaying it to you just yet because he is love-bombing you, but eventually he will.
  • Any rhetoric or talk about women being gold diggers or using men for money – he is conditioning you to accept as someone who will never be a provider for you.
  • Any man who expects you to travel to him – he is not a protector. Next!
  • Any man who believes that marriage is a cure for lust. It is not and he is telling you that he is a sex addict who will be a serial cheat because no amount of sex you will give an addict will ever be enough for them; they will always want someone new and different.  See this.
  • Any form of addiction, such as gambling, porn, drugs, alcohol and so on.

In short, use St Joseph as your standard for assessing and vetting these men.
When you hear or see questionable things from the man, always ask yourself: “will St Joseph do this? will St Joseph say this?” and if the answer is No, act accordingly and remove him from your life.

It is far better and safer to be single than to be abused and murdered by misogynistic Catholic frauds

Also, read my popular articles
Beware Of Fake Trad Men
Single Women ShouldLive With Other Single Women 
Why Women Should Never Settle

Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us!!

 

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15 thoughts on “The Misogyny Of Traditional Catholic Men

  1. On spot. I unfortunetely, decided to permanently leave the TLM parishes and activities and fully commit to the ordinary form of the mass. The mysogyny and spiritual abuse I encountered there were too much for me and it has taken the tool on my mental health. Now I am being visited by a psychiatric nurse and am talking with a psychologist. Hopefully I can get my medication soon to help my metal state a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As someone who considers myself more of a Catholic feminist, I really love how spot on you are about so many things. I’ve been married for almost 20 years to a man who started in TLM circles but is normal and accepts the NO. I worked at a large corporation when I met him. I always thought I would work because I thought I would have to. He was one of the only men who dated me who said his goal was to find a spouse. He paid for everything. He flew from another state to take me on a a date. He told me he feels, as a man and as the husband, that it’s his responsibility to make sure we have a roof over our head, that I have a working car, that we have food and medical care etc. So when it would come to these things, he wanted to just be able to make a decision and go with it. Who would say no to that. There was never any talk about me needing to ‘submit’ to him. He only said what he felt like he was responsible for as a man. I must say, I’m pretty easy going and didn’t understand what he was saying but knew it was important to him and went along with it. And I should add he’s competent and does a good job at what he feels he needs to take care of. No crazy talk about how I need to submit. Just a man telling me what he feels like he wants to do and takes care of business. I don’t consider myself submissive but I love and respect my husband for outlining what he wants to do and just doing it. And looking back, I’m so grateful that I got to stay home and raise our kids.

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  3. Hi Paige! tysm for your content. would just like to know your opinion on Novus Ordo men. I used to be able to go to the TLM but because I don’t drive, I had to stop because of Covid and couldn’t get a drive there. So, I am restricted to the Novus Ordo Mass (I live too far from the TLM) and I just want to know what it is I should watch out for in Novus Ordo men. I don’t see a difference in them and Traditional men but I could be wrong (I don’t trust my own judgement lol)

    God Bless

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    1. Hi Evelyn, there is a big difference between Novus Ordo men and traditional Catholic men. If you want a traditional Catholic courtship and marriage, you wouldn’t really get that from NO men as they have different liturgical practices and beliefs. Perhaps you need to spend more time in both liturgies and then you will be able to see the clear difference.

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  4. “Any man who expects you to travel to him – he is not a protector. Next!”

    Ladies, Paige is right about this point. Please do not make my mistakes of traveling to a man, and accepting a man’s excuses for why he cannot travel to see me in person. He seemed like the traditional Catholic man of my dreams, but ultimately his choices not to travel to me indicated low motivation on his part to protect and respectfully pursue me. As a reminder, traveling alone can be dangerous, especially for women.

    I am praying for you, readers. Please pray for me, too.

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    1. i have literally heard that nonsense come out of the mouths of so-called Catholic men. They honestly need re-education on their own faith cos they have been allowed their minds to be polluted with red pill and evangelical nonsense.
      This is why we should be careful that the Christian content we consume is exclusively Catholic-related.
      All Christians are not the same

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sure you’re familiar with No Greater Joy ministries and Michael and Debi Pearl. They were HUGELY popular a couple decades ago when my kids were little among our traditional Catholic group. Michael Pearl is absolutely a cringe and he and his wife are already implicated in a number of child death/abuse cases. The books on marriage are even worse — if it is possible to get worse than their “To Train Up a Child”. He openly admits that he was very eager to get married to make up for all the years of sexual frustration (i.e., not having sex before marriage; at least he waited until then, but he was a monster to his wife on their honeymoon).

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  5. Thank you, once again, Paige!  Did you know you are the only one in the Catholic world to address dating for a devout Catholic? Ever think about publishing a book? Most dating resources for Christians are Protestant (they are very focused on marriage because… of course that’s all they have). Some are helpful, some aren’t.  For the devout Catholic (TLM or NO), historic spiritual guidance of love prior to marriage is virtually non-existent, other than grave warnings against the dangers of close company, or praying enough novenas… nothing concrete. Certainly, “love” is not spoken of as existing prior to marriage… sad?  (I often felt somehow the Church expected good marriages to just materialize out of thin air, if not entering religious life because I couldn’t find anything about discerning relationships or people or myself. Only about discerning religious life.)  The Catholic dating resources that do exist today are either very dated (even the photos are from the ‘90s), or restricted to the viewpoint of rescuing those in the hook-up culture— which is fine, but if you were never a part of it to begin with…how do you even begin to discern healthy dating? And online Catholic dating is mostly terrible… Even to this day, Catholic radio, counseling and other programming are focused entirely on nurturing the married couple. No one caters to the spiritual and practical needs of the dating devout single person especially beyond college-age, which is ridiculous because solid dating will produce better marriages, duh… And there are so many needs: —How to navigate attractions wanted or unwanted; —recognizing your value and your gifts/personality; —choosing not to act on all attractions/prudence; —forming safe relationships in the workplace; —discerning all the players and predators…. Anyway, this is a long-held verbose rant. Thanks for listening! God bless, as always. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Because Black lives matter, I don’t vote Democrat.

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    1. these are really great points that you bring up. I never realised how deplorable it was and that truly saddens me. It is great help to listen to people like yourself who are out there in dating trenches, as you provide insight that many of us who are married may not have. And the experiences of the numerous men and women who write to me daily help inform how I address these issues, using my existing knowledge of Catholic tradition and my background in psychology. Thank you once and I will find a way to continue addressing these points, either trough a blog post or perhaps a book. I get a lot of people asking me to write a book…..it is a challenge for sure, as I never written a book on these matters before, but i will definitely consider it. Pray for me.
      My prayers are with you and yours.

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      1. Oh with pleasure, Paige… I will pray for you and this project and appreciate your prayers enormously right now… Can I add another note for your book: – giving yourself permission to say “no” to a date request (or another date early in a relationship) for any reason, even a “superficial” one— without judgment. Boy, I could help you write this chapter, lol God bless you and your family! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Because Black lives matter, I don’t vote Democrat.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for another blog post! I found your page when I was 18, now I’m near 21 and I’m beyond grateful for your work. Definitely something every young Catholic lady needs to read!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so glad you find it helpful!! At such a young age, you are in a fantastic position cos you are able to learn from the wisdom of us older big sisters, and make sound choices and decisions, rather than making grievious mistakes that some of us made. This is why older men like to target the younger generations. They expect you to be naive and unschooled on their manipulations. Thanks to the community (online or offline) of sisters and mothers, we can help inpsire you to make better choices, protect you from predators and guide you towards men who truly mean you well

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