One thing I am hearing from women who are meeting people offline or who are online dating is that a lot of men these days ask them if they live alone.
This might be a borderline acceptable question if you already know the guy, such as a work colleague or someone you already know from church, but if this is a stranger you met via a dating app or offline, this is a bit of an intrusive and frankly, predatory question to ask a woman.
It is actually different if a woman asks a man this question because most women ask this as a roundabout way of finding out if the man secretly lives with his family, with his kids, or worse, a partner.
It is also a good way to know if the man is financially stable or has steady employment.
See my post on DATING A MAN WHO STILL LIVES AT HOME for why you should never date this type of man.
Even if he cannot afford to buy his home yet, he can still rent…….or share a house with other men, at the very least.
And if a man is 40+ and living at home or flat-sharing, avoid, avoid, avoid!!
By 40, a man should be stable enough to be making sound decisions in their career and finances, to be able to live independently……people who are drifters and man-children won’t.
Back to the topic.
In a way, it is okay for a woman to ask a guy if he lives alone.
It is very different if it is the man asking a woman if she lives alone.
Sure, he could be trying to find out if she lives with family or a partner, but it is still intrusive and predatory because women are more vulnerable than men.
If the woman is 25 and under, asking if she lives with her parents is an appropriate question to ask, but not if the woman is older than this.
In most cases, a man who asks this might be:
- trying to case you and gauge your economic status (to see if they can financially use and exploit you, or rob you) or
- to see how easy it can be for them to accost you at home, stalk you, attack or rape you, or
- they want to be able to use and abuse you with no witnesses
- they are interested in sex
- they themselves do not live alone and they want to know if they will need to rent a hotel room to cheat on their girlfriend/partner
If you, as a woman, do live alone, NEVER tell a man you don’t know that you live alone. You can say something like:
“I don’t live with my parents or with a partner if that is what you are asking.”
“This question is a little intrusive and I will prefer to answer it once I know you a little better”
“I am single, but occasionally have my older brother or adult nieces/ne[hews or my girl friends stay over”
It still seems very creepy and predatory to me.
Big “will anyone notice if anything happens to you?” energy and someone is asking this when they have not even met you yet, UNMATCH & BLOCK THEM!
You do not have to answer any prying questions, do not give them your street name, and pay attention to RED FLAGS – it is better to be safe than sorry.
Remember, being a feminine, trad woman does not mean you have to be foolish, naive, and compliant. A feminine trad woman protects herself and her virtues by having strong boundaries and by being discerning and picky with who she shares her time and energy. She does not offer herself to anyone and everyone, and she does not throw herself or her love at people, thinking that her kindness will fix evil people.
Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us.
ad Jesum per Mariam