Dating And The Sadistic Time Waster

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smh at how much evil there is in the world and even in the church too.

Running a page like this puts me in contact with a lot of people from around the world and it’s shocking the number of disordered and pathological people there are, even within the church.; wolves in sheep clothing using the church as a cover.

A TCF reader wrote to me. She was approached by a guy online.

He seemed honest and open, asked for her number and arranged to call her….and then never did.

She did all the right things; she was polite and even though his messages were gushing and filled with lots of “xxx” (a tactic used by manipulators to deceive you into getting prematurely attached to them), she kept her responses neutral & open.

When he didn’t call as promised, she didn’t chase after him by texting him or calling him.
This is femininity at work – feminine women do not chase.

He was probably expecting her to be frustrated that he didn’t call and then call him.
But she didn’t – good girl!!

A person playing games like these before you’ve even met them is not a good sign.
There are always signs of an abusive person in the beginning if you know what you are looking for.

48 hours later, he texts her, full of multiple apologies, more effusive messages, again promises to call her ….. and then didn’t.

I told her to block him cos he was obviously toying with her.
She did – she blocked his number, and then unmatched and blocked him on the dating website.

Personally, if I get this sort of flakiness ONCE, I would have already blocked him and not given him a 2nd chance.

Men are not stupid. If they are genuine and want you, they DO NOT flake on you.
They are men. They are very direct.

My guess is that this guy is a sadistic misogynist, who enjoys frustrating women in order to make women feel less than, unwanted or with damaged self-esteem.
He probably enjoys having a woman chase after him so he can then later frustrate her, blow hot and cold – all of this is psychological abuse, which is often a precursor to physical abuse.

My TCF reader did her due diligence and screened him by having a brief background check on him too, using Google and social media searches after they exchange numbers.

He is even a ‘traditional Catholic’, a pianist and music director for a Latin Mass parish and has been single for over 5 years! Gee, I wonder why(!)
The fact that he would behave in such a dishonourable, disingenuous and even cruel manner like this towards a stranger who did nothing wrong to him is just plain evil.
He is sadistic, a Catholic fraud and yet another reminder that you should always have boundaries and refuse to put up with disrespect from anyone – even if they claim to be Catholic.

Luckily for her, she has been following my posts and articles on narcissism, and she was able to recognise his behaviour.

But this man will do this to many other women – more trusting, kind-hearted Catholic women – some who may already be emotionally fragile and vulnerable- and he could cause so much damage to their confidence and self esteem that these women may lose their faith or feel so despondent that they end up suicidal.

It is a special kind of evil to go out of your way to cause pain, confusion and distress to another human.

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This man KNEW she was a high-value woman and commented several times that she is not just pretty, but also very sweet.  So he KNEW her virtues and values.
Any normal man will feel very appreciative to have such a modest, genuine, trad, feminine and sweet woman in their life….especially in this era of angry, bitter, feminist-minded women. 
But evil cannot and will never appreciate virtue.  Instead, it likes to corrupt and destroy virtue.
Further engagement with this man would have turned my TCF reader miserable, bitter and feeling ugly about herself.
Also, see my article – YOUR VIRTUES WILL NEVER CHANGE A TOXIC PERSON.

This man is sadistic and a troll, not unlike the Catholic frauds who troll my TCF page, all enraged and frothing at the mouth about my articles on modesty, chastity or courtship.
I do not engage with them. I block them.  And this is what I encourage you to do with the trolls and time-wasters in your life.

Always have firm boundaries when dealing with people.
If a guy keeps messaging you without a call, block him – he is a sadistic time waster.
If he keeps calling without arranging a date, block him – he is a sadistic time waster.

What this man did is akin to being stood up on a first date or cancelling the date less than 24 hours beforehand.
By the way, if someone does this to you, BLOCK THEM.

Do not give them a second chance and do not tell them how angry, upset, disappointed etc you are. 
That information is just fuel that will make them feel smug and superior that they are getting to you. 
Remember, no JADE; do not Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain.

People like this carry the demonic spirit of strife and contention and want to infect your life, your mind, your mental state and your state of grace with sadness, anger and confusion.

The only way to deal with these unstable people is to not engage with them.
Don’t make excuses for them or try to understand them.
Swiftly and quietly BLOCK THEM without an explanation or pre-warning.

God is not the Author of confusion.
A man that is of God, a truly Christian man, will NEVER bring you confusion.
A sadistic, narcissistic, demonic-influenced man will.
He is showing you what he is, so you should believe him and act accordingly.

Always exercise discernment and make a clear wise judgement about a person through their actions, NEVER their words…..no matter how ‘nice’ or ‘sincere’ their words seem to be.
And if someone does something like this to you, please do not take it personally.
They want you to believe that you did something wrong or that there is something wrong with you – you didn’t and there isn’t.
Their behaviour is a reflection of them, not of you. Normal people do not go around treating people this way – they just don’t. 

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Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us

 

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One thought on “Dating And The Sadistic Time Waster

  1. Zephyr here… Paige, this speaks to me, strengthens the self-regard and esteem for my womanhood i lacked for so long. As a child, I felt natural modesty, followed the rules of my mother. “Never call a boy, etc.” After i lost all confidence in myself, my mother, and men, I became something of a chaser. Very selectively, yes, but felt it was fruitless to expect not to have to “help” an “intimidated” man approach me. Thank you. And my wise mother. Brian Nox .com also rearranged my brain incredibly before i found you. I sometimes wonder if you guys are a little too hard-edged on this— men are human too, and I believe i know a lot of wishy-washy guys who are NOT intentionally evil, and guys who have been hurt by women, who are then cautious of who they give themselves out to — but i know you are taking it to the extreme to make a critical point. (Also, who wants the wishy-washy guy? He needs to start being decisive before he’s ready to date. 😉 Thank you, see I’m a good student!!)
    BUT— I wish i had been a student of yours before I pushed away the really good guy i liked, through my own anger issues at men, woundedness, and spite. Call me Ms. Porcupine. Is there any justification or feminine approach for an apology to a man who was a longtime admirer?

    Like

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